Underwear for Locker Room?

Updated on February 16, 2018
A.W. asks from New York, NY
11 answers

My DD (11) recently started changing for her first 6th grade middle school gym class. It's her first time using a locker room and I thought things were going well. She hadn't said anything, she didn't seem super nervous until she came home the other day. I could tell she was off, but it took a little while for her to reveal the problem: her underwear isn't acceptable.

I guess she started looking around the locker room and decided everyone else is wearing nicer underwear than she is. Apparently no one bullied her into thinking this, which is a relief. She has come to her own conclusion that the packaged underwear she's been wearing for years is no longer going to work.

I don't know what to do. I've always been a panties from a pack lady myself, even in high school and college. When I was her age I was making my own switch to Hanes Her Way for Teens, but I don't think that's going to cut it. What should I do?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your help!

I was really happy my DD was willing to talk about it. It took a little pushing, but we had a conversation about underwear, what's acceptable, and what would make her feel better and more confident. We decided to take a girls trip to Target yesterday and we picked out some new stuff for both of us. Made sure to skip right past the girls section and head to the juniors & women's section. We each still got some packaged undies, but we ventured outside of our comfort zones. Thankfully she's not at an age where thongs are an issue yet, LOL. It was a rewarding and bonding experience.

Featured Answers

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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

Let her pick out her own underwear. Unless she asking for underwear that costs $20 a pair or something really expensive, let her get what she wants.

Have you asked her what she would like? She probably has some idea. Just gently let her know that she really is allowed to have an opinion and that you would really like to know what she would like. Then over the weekend, go to the store with her and buy her some new underwear.

This isn't a big deal unless you make it a big deal. Let her know that this is perfectly ok and that she can have new underwear that makes her feel comfortable.

4 moms found this helpful

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Let her choose her own underwear.

5 moms found this helpful

W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

welcome to mamapedia, A.

She's old enough. Let her choose her own underwear.

She doesn't need Victoria's Secret - but she can get something that she likes.

4 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Take her shopping and let her pick out her underwear.

It does not have to be Victoria's Secret. Try Kohls and other
Department stores.

I'm glad she opened up to you. That says a lot!' .

4 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I really hate to say that we should start wearing underwear to please other people.
While a certain amount of conforming is expected, how far does the drive to please others go and where is the line to stop?
She should wear what is functional and what is comfortable.
Changing styles/brands is all good and well - but at the same time she doesn't need designer high priced underwear either.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Take her shopping and let her pick out some herself. Look for sales, if she wants more expensive stuff. Or start at the discount stores, Target, etc. You don't have to get the racy styles ,they have some modest cute stuff outside the plastic packages.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

unless she is wanting thongs or something just let her pick out some cute stuff, maybe take a girls trip to VS or something.

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

is this really a big deal?

i'm a panties-from-a-pack gal too, but i'm not 11 in a public school. i certainly wouldn't take her to victoria's secret or get her anything string or super sexy, but why not take her to target and let her pick out her own?
khairete
S.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.L.

answers from Denver on

Walmart sells more trendy underwear like "XO" , but my kid is 14 and has no problem with the packaged underwear. They actually have some that look really nice and you can't tell them from the more expensive ones - especially in the teen sizes. The cotton is really more comfortable than the fancy stuff.

1 mom found this helpful

T.D.

answers from New York on

When I was a teen we had a Rue 21. They sold underwear for a dollar each. I think you can check online to see if any stores near you sell underwear for cheap, I think I have picked up one or two undies by themselvs at my local target. Take your daughter shopping and let her pick out underwear that she sees and whats "in".

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

What does your daughter want to do? Our girl was wearing undies she picked out at that age. She doesn't do a gym class where they change clothes. If your girl is bothered by changing she can always go into a bathroom stall to change.

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