Unable to Wean My 1Yr Old

I think you will have to just let him cry it out one night or even two. Don't give him in to him or you will continue the cycle. That's what I had to do when I weaned my daughter. I waited til her dad was out of town, though, so I didn't get flak from him.

Are you feeding him cereal and baby food as well? If not, he is staying hungry as milk alone is not satisfying him anymore. You can get the feeders or look for the nipples that have larger holes. (Daughter just increased the hole size on the nipples).

I know how hard this is, to hear them cry at night, to not get any sleep and know that you have to function the next day, to feel so brutal...

but it is actually harder on him that you give in. if you stick to your guns and don't nurse no matter what he does, he will eventually fall back to sleep. And he'll learn that it isn't worth it to get up. Keep a bottle of water so he can feel liquid in his throat after crying so much. But keep the boobs in the jammies.

I'm going through this, too, and it is really hard. But kids look for patterns in behavior. That is how they learn. If the pattern is "I'll cry till I turn blue then I'll get what I want," then you are teaching him to cry. If the pattern (totally consistantly) is, "I cry and cry and still no breast," He'll stop crying after a few days b/c it just doesn't work.

I'm night weaning my ever hour nursing 18 month old. I'm right there with you and after 2 hours of sleep last night, I feel your pain! We can do it, though. Good luck!

EDIT: I am not a proponent of leaving a baby in his/ her crib to cry for a long time. I would be TERRIFIED if that were me in the crib, wondering where the person who cares for me has disappeared to! My baby sleeps with me, so when he cries, I snuggle him. I know he feels safe and secure. The only thing I'm willing to take away from him is the breast.

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH, MY DAUGHTER WAS AWFULL WHEN IT CAME TIME TO WEAN. MY MOTHER GAVE ME THE BEST ADVICE AND ALTHOUGH IT TOOK A LITTLE LONGER, IT REALLY WORKED. SHE TOLD ME TO TAKE OUT ONE FEEDING EVERY 2 WEEKS AND SUPPLEMENT WITH BABY FOOD OR CEREAL. MY MOM NURSED ALL 5 of US SO I FIGURED SHE WAS MOST QUALIFIED IN THIS AREA. AS MY DAUGHTER GREW OLDER, SHE WAS ABLE TO TAKE A LARGER BOTTLE AT NIGHT AND EVENTUALLY SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. GOOD LUCK!!!

I got daddy heavily involved in the process. Although our baby was closer to 1.5yrs, it worked quite well. We used the long weekend so my hubby could get all the rest he needed during the day, and you have Labor day weekend coming up (which hopefully your husband has off so he can rest). I was at the point where I could put baby down for day naps without him wanting to nurse so I did that part but my hubby was in charge of all nighttime and morning wake ups, which is the time baby really wanted to nurse. Daddy should get up and give him a sip of water and put him back down (or whatever sleep training method you are using if you are using one).
Most training takes about 3 days to be effective so hopefully by Tuesday you will be able to say no to your baby without him complaining. It worked for us. Good luck!!

It sounds like he's not ready to wean. That's not too surprising, given that most babies will nurse (with decreasing frequency) to at least 2 years, and that's recommended by the WHO and other organizations. It's actually good for both of you, physically and emotionally, to nurse as long as you are both willing.

I commend you for following his lead and meeting his needs by continuing to nurse and by bringing him to bed with you. Of course, when you have needs of your own (like sleep! and going back to work), there has to be some balance. I HIGHLY recommend the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley for excellent, practical ideas for those sorts of situations. The book will help you understand your baby's needs, evaluate your own needs, and find a variety of solutions to help meet both of your needs. It is fabulous for nearly every situation, including yours.

Blessings,
H.

Either stop cold turkey and show him that the bottle is his only option, or wait longer and longer to give in to his request. He's going to cry, and sometimes you'll just have to let him. (I know that it can be sooooo hard.) If you're intent on doing this now, then that's how it'll happen. There's a chance that it's the closeness that he craves, so show him that he can still get that without the nursing. Right now he might not know the difference.

Also, are you sure that it's time to wean him? I know that you want to have more structure with it, but often times children will naturally move on at the time that is appropriate for their development. It's a fine line, I know, but work in tune with your child...while remembering that the solution to their wails is not always to give them what they're wailing about.

(That probably helped not at all. Lol.)

In your "A little about me" section I saw that you recently went back to work. He probably misses you during the day and is making up for lost time at night. I know you want sleep, but he wants his mommy. I would try giving him as much attention as possible during the day and on your days off. You might get more sleep if you just let him sleep with you instead of going back and forth a hundred times a night. :) Good luck, I think things will be fine if you give him time to adjust to the new schedule.
PS. Cold Turkey weaning isn't always the best approach, you already took your days from him, if you have him give up ALL of his nursings at once he will probably think his world is falling apart

A.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't make your baby cry it out. He isn't plotting against you, he needs you and you shouldn't try to break him, he isn't a dog or a horse.

G.,

Here's what I did with all 3 of my boys...First thing-get sippie cups and get rid of the bottle. He's too old for a bottle. Make a big deal of getting the cups and even let him go with you to the store to pick them out. Tell him from now on he's going to have his milk in a big-boy cup! Start the weaning process by cutting out the mid afternoon feedings. If you have any stored breast milk, mix it half and half with regular milk and put it in the cup. Each day lessen the amount of breast milk in th mixture. That just helps them adjust to the taste of whole milk. Do that for a couple of days, then cut out the morning feedings. Wait a couple of more days and then get rid of any other daytime feedings. Once you have cut out all of the daytime feedings, get rid of the nighttime one. You can esplain to him that he can only drink mommy's milk at night because it's going bye-bye. Establish a new bedtime routine. Start giving him a new special book each night for a week once he's not nursing anymore. You can re-read them over and over and he will love it. The most important thing...You are in charge. Do not feel guilty about weaning, he doesn't need your antibodies anymore. We live in a great country where there is plenty of nutrition for your son without being nursed past 1 year. When he cries, go into his crib and reassure him every 5 minutes and pat him on the back, do NOT pick him up or bring him to your bed. You just need a lot of patience for this, but it will pass. This should take no longer than 10 days. This advice comes from someone who had her last son at 43. I'll pray for you to have strength.

Peace,
C.

I broke it with my daughter at 18 months. She had started getting up to nurse three times in the night. We got harsh and just let her cry. After over an hour hearing her call for me, Daddy went in and calmed her down.

The next night, she woke up once and fussed for ten minutes before going to sleep.

Then, we had no mid-night wakeups for over a year until she figured out that she could get out of the toddler bed without waiting for us to get her :)

Honestly this sounds more like a sleeping issue than a feeding issue. Are you nursing him to sleep, then he wakes up and wants more? If so, then that really sounds more like he is just used to nursing to get to sleep and not necessarily hungry. When I weaned my daughter, we nursed routinely during the day at various times. Each week, I would drop one nursing session and replace with a sippy of milk or small meal (or skip all together if she wasn't hungry). Over the next month, each week I would drop another nursing session, saving the first in the morning and the last at night until the end. I always enjoyed our end of day time together, so that was the last one I dropped. By the last day of the last week, I cried, but my daughter did not. We just made it a gradual process. However, at this time, my daughter was sleeping through the night (at one year).

More than likely he's crying out of habit not because he's hungry. Let him cry, it will hurt you more than it will hurt him. If he cries so much that he throws up, clean him up and put him right back down, if not, he'll learn that all he needs to do is throw up and he'll get what he wants. 3 nights, I don't think it'll take more than that.

Believe me, you'll feel horrible, but you need to insure that he starts getting good sleep.

Please let me know what you find out. I am having the same problem.

If he is full when he goes to bed, I think he should be fine to sleep through the night. So the only thing I can think of is either letting him cry it out so that he will learn that 3am is a time to sleep, or go in and pat him or speak soothingly to him but don't offer him a chance to nurse or get out of his crib. You can start by going in after 10 minutes and then stretch the time you go in until he settles down. I have seen some moms who have some kind of blanket or animal or maybe even a pacifier that they use to help comfort their little ones. Whichever way you do it, it may be rough going for a few days. He has learned that if he wakes up and cries he can get food and moved into your bed so he has to learn a new way of operating and he probably just won't like it at all at first. But he will adjust eventually the question is will he break first or will you! But he will be fine. Babies can adapt to their enviornments, but each one has their own will and temperment, and each one requires whatever it takes to teach them how things work. Not to mention that all parents are different. Some people would not mind the late night feeding, I like you, could not deal with the broken sleep for so long! Whatever you teach him is acceptable behavior is what he will eventually conform to, it may just be a little rough and tears may be unavoidable. Best wishes however you go about this!!! It won't last forever :)
p.s.(If you have a baby monitor with lights, you can turn down the sound and just periodically check the lights to see if he has settled down. Hearing them cry can be so tough, I know!!)

your local LLL group will have lots of good tips for weaning your baby.
http://www.lllaustin.org/
Also, kellymom.com is a great resource for nursing moms. I just put "weaning" in the search engine and got quite a few hits.

hth
K., mama to
Catherine, 4.5y
Samuel, 19m

You may want to try a pacifier. He obviously is using nursing/suckling to soothe himself.

Consistancy. Dont let him get what he wants espically by crying. I know its 3 in the morning and you want to go to sleep. If he is indeed hungary give him a bottle and tell him your breasts are out of order. let him cry for a bit and go back in and keep giving him the bottle. I am sure that will take a week to break but I think its worth it. Also dont let him in your bed thats a really hard one to break, even for me when my husband isnt in bed at the same time I am its hard for me to get use to not having someone. Good luck .

Do you think he's ready to wean? Are you ready? Or is it just because so many people wean at a year? I'm not trying to be offensive, I just know that many people are swayed by the fact that most people don't breastfeed past a year. If you're ready, however, that is certainly your decision.

I don't have much to offer, except to suggest that maybe Daddy should get him at night if you don't want to nurse. I have not weaned my 13 month old and my first self-weaned at 2, so I don't really have much advice on that end! Just wanted to offer the thought that lots of us nurse past a year, and it's wonderful - if you want it.

It sounds like he could use a little rice cereal in his bottle. My girls woke up about every 2 hours when I was breastfeeding them. Once they switched to formula my oldest slept through the whole night, but my youngest needed a little rice cereal (just a pinch) in her formula (because she is an eater!). At first I had to listen to them cry for a few days, but eventually they learned to calm themselves down and go back to sleep. It was hard to hear them cry, but it was so nice once they started sleeping through the night. Good luck.

He will either do it him self or you will do it for him. Do not give in. A cup work but you may have a fight on your hands for a while. He will get use to it. Give the cup all day no more bottles. This will change his idea of drinking. It will take a while for both of you though. Good luck. Had the same problem with mine. Good luck

This may be a phase your baby is going through. I have 14 month old boy/girl twins and right around 12 months they seemed to be having a nursing marathon that just ended about a month ago. They were nursing every few hours at night—my daughter would nurse and quickly go back to sleep while my son would usually stay on the breast for an hour or so and then start again a few hours later. It was exhausting but what helped was me working part-time at night. My husband and the twins were forced to come up with a night-time solution that did not involve Mom. As of now the twins still wake up a few times a night but they usually self-soothe back to sleep.
Perhaps for the next few weekends, night-time could be daddy-time. If your baby is using the breast to pacify and go back to sleep, he’ll have a chance to transition away from the breast at night (you might want to consider sleeping somewhere else, temporarily, if the baby still goes to your bed). The first few times (or more) ya'll try this will probably be incredibly difficult for baby & parents but your baby will adjust to someone else comforting him back to sleep, and this can help to set him in the right direction to eventually start self-soothing.

BTW--Other than the night-time issues, is there any other reason why you want to wean? My oldest stopped nursing at night around 18 months, but continued occasional day-time nursing til he was 3. There are a multiplicity of benefits from nursing past 12 months. You can check out http://www.llli.org/ for more info

Good Luck!

I had the same problem with my son. He just loved to suck. After he was 3 weeks old I tried different pacifiers until I found one he liked. He still takes the breast without any problems. He is now 4 months and takes the bottle at daycare and breast before and after daycare.

My 3 year old still nurses. Some kids are just like him and yours. "You always have one like that" is what I've heard many older, experienced moms say. For this situation, I had my husband take my son out of the room for a while. It was necessary and it worked. You will have to nurse him every 3 hours at first but stick to a schedule and get your husband in on it.