Ughh...hubby Coming Home from Work AGAIN

Quick! Invent some errands for him to run to get him out of the house. My husband does this too sometimes and it drives me nuts.

So glad to see this post. My husband calls me constantly at work. Even when I come home to work (his office is at home) he calls me from his office (20 feet away) to give me updates on whatever he is doing! I think to myself all day "Is he TRYING to Make me crazy or does he have ADD? Why would he call me over such trivialities?" When I am calm, I rationalize that he is alone a lot and while I have others in the office to talk to, he only has me...to call...and call...and call...

Suggest that he really treat himself and take himself to a movie today -- something he'd like to see but you probably wouldn't. If my husband were home and I were busy, that's what he'd do!

If his work can spare him whenever his boss has "left him nothing to do..." That doesn't sound like many jobs I've heard of. Usually there's work to do whether or not the boss is there. Can you perhaps suggest, next time, that he should FIND things to do at work to show his initiative when the boss isn't right over his shoulder?....

Really, at heart, this is a case for a sit-down talk where you tell him what you just told us: "It's great that you have this time, but it's time I don't have due to this work deadline. I know you'll understand. But it's tough on me to have you sitting here at my side as I'm needing to focus hard on work. Could you please maybe go .....(fill in the blank: watch that video you wanted to see, do that chore you mentioned over the weekend, run to the store for XYZ, etc.)."

You're not being mean, lol. You do sound like my wife though. She works at home from time to time and I am thrilled when she does, I get excited that I get to see her during the day, talk to her when I can etc. She tries to be diplomatic saying "baby, I really need to work..." Then I get sad.. LOL. To him it's 'time with you', try to see it his way, a little.
I see both sides.

Aaaaw, but he LOOOOVES you!

giggle

:)

No your not being mean it is what it is! Your Busy! So what you need to do is tell him, say honey I am glad that you are home because now you can help me do house work!!!

That either will keep him busy actually doing the housework or will make him jump up and find something to do on his own and leave you be!

Tell him exactly what you just told us-you need to be present, you're super busy and have projects with impending deadlines. Let him know that while he's at home you're still at work and will get repreimanded by your superior if you are not fully engaged during the work hours.

You are so funny (other mamas seem to take you too seriously IMO), you must be married a long time. This is exactly what happens with long time marriages, each of the spouses have their own space (house for the SAHM and workplace for hubby) and when the other one invades the "other's kingdom" it is like few hours feel like too long LOL. Since you are busy give him something to do, at least he can be helpful...by the way, drumming legs? Super annoying!!! LOL

Know what you mean. My husband has been home everyday since Dec 22 due to having surgery on that day. The doctor won't release him until next Wednesday. Less than a week to go, yea!!! He's driving me nuts!!

I like the other's suggestions, give him a list of things that need to be done. :)

You aren't being mean. I love my hubby to pieces, but when he says he has to work on a Saturday, I love it! That means I can get all my housework done and all the errands run when I want and how I want. When I try to work at home, it bugs me every time my hubby opens the office door. I keep telling him to just act like I'm not home, but for whatever reason that doesn't seem possible!

No, you're not being mean; you have things to do and your own schedule in mind and he is just throwing you all off! I feel for you!

No you arent. My husband can't stand to not have my full attention. WHen I sit down to do something, he suddenly wants to talk, cuddle, play, whatever. I had to go to the library to get anything done. The other thing that works is to give him an assignement. Have him go work on the yard, or go pick up something at Home Depot. You're guaranteed a couple free hours while they piddle at Home Depot, or Best Buy. That's another one that holds men hostage.

I agree with the other moms - get him started on a list of things to do that would be helpful to you! Make him go to the grocery store, or fix things around the house, balance the checkbook, etc. If he is driving you nuts, tell him that! He's a big boy, he can take it. ;)

You are not being mean. You need focus. And it is a change in your routine. Why dont you try moving to another room, or asking him to, or send him to run your errands. I would just explain that you are not used to him being there and arent used to the distractions that another person in the house creates.

Try to encourage him to get those "honey do" items done if he's got time on his hands. Even if you're the one responsible for the laundry maybe he can pitch in and pick up the slack during those slow times for him.

Its not mean. I completely get it!

Even if its just trying to rearrange the kids toy room or deep cleaning the house ( these are my at home type of work ;) ) even though he is trying to help he just seems more in the way lol

It slows me down on what Im trying to get done with the small talk or trying to direct him to what needs done or how to do it. Its just easier with out him.

Now I leave everything I want to get done for when he is at work and do nothing when he is here. Even with our day to day things with the kids when he is home unexpectedly a day it throws everything off! He doesn't mean to, but it does.

I know exactly what you mean! I work at home also and my husband used to have a job that he worked Saturdays and was off one day during the week and I couldn't get anything donef that day. He always has to show me something or tell me something. Even now that he works everyday during the week, when things are slow for him, he sits there and texts me all day. I guess he assumes if his work is slow, then mine is too? Husbands just need so much attention. LOL.

I needed an empty house to be productive when I worked from home. If hubby was home and no kids he wanted to get busy in the bedroom, if the kids were home they obviously wanted my attention. Find him something to do and everything will be fine :).

I would tell him that when he comes home, he needs to do something to entertain himself. You have to focus. DD and I have a routine (I'm currently waiting for lunch to cook) and any time DH works from home or is home when I work, he's annoying. Maybe make a task list and let him putter doing other things. Tell him you'll have a break at x time and can talk then but until then remind him that your income is at stake and he needs to give you space.

Edit: Ah, that makes more sense re: work. Still, sounds like clear directions might help. And maybe he'll feel good being useful.

My husband works from home . . . need I say more? :P And did I mention we also homeschool? We joke that we are the modern day family farm. Some days I feel like checking myself into the looney bin. Most of the time I love it though. But I totally get what you're saying.

Nope. Not being mean at all!! Give him chores to do - that dreaded honey do list.

I don't know what he does that he needs to have a boss leave him work to do. There's got to be something that needs to be done at the office - guess if I knew what he did that would help.

tell him to get out of the house. Tell him to go to the gym. I know it was hard when my husband was home and I was/am trying to recruit candidates for positions...urgh!!

That's really weird. I cannot imagine my husband doing that and I'm sorry sounds very childish! Don't let him sit next to you....close off your work space.

i completely know how you feel! :)

I have a rule when I am trying to get something done.

YOU CAN TALK TO ME ONLY IF THERE IS SMOKE AND/OR BLOOD AND A LOT OF IT.

I had a Mary Kay Business years ago and that was a suggestion from Mary Kay.

Tell him to go clean out the basement or garage. Take the kids out for lunch to a place that has a play area. Then they can go to the park and on the way home get the grocery shopping done, pick up dry cleaning and some take out for dinner.

In other words keep him busy. He's probably bored to tears and wants to spend time with his wife. So many men just don't get it that his day off is not always her day off too.

The more he can get done in the way of chores around the house the more time you will have to spend with him when you are done.

Oooh, I know what you mean. My hubby usually doesn't get home til close to 11 PM, and since Kiddo doesn't wind down until 9 or so, that is my ME-TIME. I HATE when he gets home early, 'cuz then I don't get to watch MY shows, or sit quietly and read my library books - or just take a nice, long hot shower by MYSELF.

I DO love him, I swear, but sometimes, after a long day with the Kid, I want to run away and take a vacation in a cave somewhere.... ALONE.

Not mean. I love my husband to pieces, but I know exactly how you feel. I work from home one day a week, and he is at the office one day a week. A few months ago he changed his day so we were both at home at the same time. At first I thought it would be very nice, go to lunch, have some time together.... He recently changed back, and I think both of us are relieved. I really missed my one day to be in the house myself, and he didn't seem to understand that my day is busy in the morning (his is busy in the late afternoon), so I couldn't just spend 1/2 hour chatting when I got back from dropping my daughter. I felt so mean because he wanted to connect, and I wanted to check my email and make sure my boss hadn't IM'd me!

Give him a task on the other side of the house, or an errand, or anything!

This made me smile as I feel the same way sometimes when my husband comes home for lunch. (Or worse - when he comes home during my son's quiet time). It is not like I don't love to see him, but sometimes I just need some time to myself or am already busy with whatever my son and I are doing. It is a distraction (LOL)! I notice the same way when he travels for work: I get so much more done. Of course I wouldn't change being married to him for the world, but I understand how you feel. Good luck!

Send him to the park with the kids. Win-Win!

I get it. My husband makes me crazy. I have to deal with him in the daycare and I just want him to go upstairs most of the time. In the morning, while it's still dark and kids are sleeping and don't need to get up for school for at least an hour, he comes in talking loud and flipping on the lights. When I tell him to shut it off and be quiet he gets mad and says things like, "Oh GOD, they need to get up anyway". RUDE! He does the same thing at the end of the day after I get them to sleep at night. It's not like they don't understand. He is forever complaining about how other people at work are a distraction and how meetings eat into his actual work time.

Tell him to get a book and go read in the bedroom or to leave the house. It's up to you to make it clear that you are working and he is being distracting.

I hear ya, my husband drives me crazy sometimes when I'm working from home! keeps coming over... "how much work do you have to do?" ... 20 minutes later, brings our son over to say "hi" to mom. I love being home, but sometimes I have to put my foot down and shut the door and ask for a couple hours of no interruption. I will also do this when I'm at the office - text him to say I'm really busy, please no calls or texts unless it's an emergency, because he texts me all the time when I'm at work! (when he's home w/ our son)