J.C.
They were a gift. If you don't like them, go to a jeweler and trade them up for something you do like. Forget getting him involved.
wow glad i asked you women. while i undersand the "friendship" i would not have ever thought givig him back something would cause anyone to think it was anything other than giving it back for him. ty for your honest answers. i would never ever try to get back with any of my exes. ever. truly never thought this was opening any kind of " door" . i have talked to my husband in the past but he really didnt know what your "suppose" to do with it either.
They were a gift. If you don't like them, go to a jeweler and trade them up for something you do like. Forget getting him involved.
I would either pawn them or have them re-made into something I liked. I certainly would not worry about it enough to track someone down and give them back. If I were the ex, I would think that very strange.
I definitely wouldn't give any of it back. If you aren't comfortable with it, sell them or toss them, but don't give them back.
That's what pawn shops are for ;-)
No way-I'd sell them or melt them down into something else. Your heart might be in the right place, but his current wife may not appreciate your gesture. Chances are she would probably do the same anyway. LOL.
Just sell them. Returning a gift, even a valuable one, is rude and intrusive.
Sell them or toss them off a bridge. Do not contact your ex to give them back.
Gifts should not be returned.
ETA: I thought I'd add...my ex-husband gave me back his wedding band. I had it in my jewelry box to pawn for rainy day $$$ if I needed. On 9 Oct I sold it...and used it to buy dinner for my family and I after my hubby and I married on 10 Oct!!! HA! Thanks for the wedding dinner, stupid ex!
have the stones made into something you do like.
for me, to return the earrings, feels like you're trying to open a door...not close it. :)
has he ever returned anything of yours?
List it on http://www.exboyfriendjewelry.com/. Love this site. Even if you don't have a funny story - it gets a lot of press and fits your story:)
I think it would be very odd to return a gift to someone after so much time.
He gave them to you, they are YOUR earrings, if you don't like them, give them away, or sell them, whatever.
The only time I can imagine returning a gift is giving back the wedding ring right after a broken engagement.
You've moved on - he's moved on. Why would you ever contact him only to return these earrings? Sounds hinky to me. Donate them, pawn them, melt them... just don't involve him in your decision making.
What would your ex do with them? If he gave them to his current wife, he'd be in big trouble, I'm sure. Has he asked for them back or is this just something you're thinking about? If there is a child from that marriage, you could keep them to give to the child when she is older, if it's a girl, or the child's bride, if it's a boy.
I would sell them. In fact, that's exactly what I did.
My ex gave me a lot of jewelry. I found out later that his secretary (not he) had great taste. Most of the time he had no clue what was in the beautifully wrapped box. So, I looked at all of it about a year ago and took out the items that I like and wear. I sold the rest of it. I don't wear it and am not attached to it, so I used the money to offset the cost of a vacation with my family.
Why would you give them back? That's silly. They were a gift to you. You own them now. Do with them as you please! If you don't like them, take them to a reputable jeweler and sell them. At that point you can either use that cash as a "credit" toward something at that store that you do like or take the check and go do something else with it!
Either sell them or give them to a thrift store. You are right, they are of no use sitting in a box. What is your ex going to do with them? Just get rid of them if you don't want them. Someone else who has no bad memories attached to them will enjoy them.
Pawn them or sell them on Craigslist. Then if you want, give him half the money. He's not going to want the earrings back... they probably don't have any sentimental value to him either.
Pawn Shop or Craigslist....but no contact with the ex.
I would sell them. They were a gift to you, so what you do with them is up to you. Sell them and do something nice for yourself.
I would return them.
Consignment/pawn shop/ sell
If you are still in contact with this ex I would return them to him. If you don't wear them then maybe he could use the money to buy something nice. If he refuses to accept, then you can sell them guilt free.
Sell them and if you don't feel it is right to make money off of a gift from an ex then donate whatever you get for them to a charity (you could provide clean water to a family/village for $300 through Heifer International).
Sell them yourself and buy something for your family!! I would not send them back to him - it might cause trouble with his wife!!
That is very nice of you IF:
A) Just broke up
OR
B) Are still in contact with him and are on friendly terms!
If neither of those are true, no point in you making contact with him if you are NOT in contact with him already, especially if he has moved on and is with someone else...you said "They" in your post? Maybe you could just put them in the mail, if you feel that strongly about returning them?
~I say you just sell them yourself and keep the money, they were a *gift* to you after all?!
either you give it back right when you break up or you choose to get rid of them how you wish with out calling him up and dragging him back into your life.
I would feel like you are trying to stir stuff up if you contact him over this.
even if you mean it well.
I think the bigger issue here is: Why, an entire decade after you were with this ex, are you still bugged by a pair of earrings? Why does it matter to you to give them back to him? You didn't just recently break up. If you are not in contact with him and friendly right now, approaching him to return them after so long will, frankly, make him, and his wife, suspicious of your motives. However pure your intentions are, they are going to say, "Why on earth is she coming back with these ten years after the fact? Is there something else about our relationship back then that she is trying to tell me? Is she trying to re-establish contact, or make me think well of her again, or...."
In other words, why open a whole can of worms over a pair of earrings?
Sell them or, if you like the stones in them, have the stones reset, but I think, based on the post, that you would be reluctant even to wear the stones in an entirely new setting.
If you're balking at selling them because then you'd worry equally that you should give him that money -- give the money to charity.
I would really sit down and think hard not about the "waste" but about why a mere object that truly isn't that valuable monetarily in the big scheme of things is looming so large for you. (My brother's a jeweler, and believe me, $400 earrings are a big deal for most of us but there are many, many items that cost vastly more. If you didn't give the guy back the earrings when you broke up and he hasn't asked for them in 10 years -- they are not on his radar; why are they on yours?)
Well, if you are in some sort of cordial contact, then I think it would be ok to give them back. But if you don't have any contact or relationship, or if you have negative contact/relationship, I would say sell them yourself and buy something nice :) or donate the money, whatever feels best.
id be upset if some woman came to my door to return a sentimental thing from years ago...unless you are still friends with him and can simply ask him if they want them to sell
he gave them to you, so they are yours! sell them or pawn them if you dont like them
It was a gift - so you can do what you want with them.
You can pawn them or trade them in on something you like better.
If they gold you can sell them and get quite a bit of money. That is what I would do.
Do you not wear them bc you don't like them or bc an ex gave them to you? If the former, sell them etc. If the latter, I never let things like that bother me. If I like somethign, I wear it. I wouldn't give them back unless you broke up with him right after he gave them to you or something like that.