My two year old son hits me all the time. I have tried everything. He gets a time-out every time he hits me, but it doesn't seem to be helping. Anybody else going through this? I'd appreciate any advise!
Just keep telling him no. Put him down and move away from him. Do not react after you tell him no. If he cries, he is getting it.
J.,
I was a professional nanny for twenty years and I can tell you what has worked for my charges and for my son. I over react to my "pain". I get a boo-boo bag for myself. Then after about a minute I go over and talk with them, who cares if the understand everything, just say "When you hit me that really hurt and made me sad, Please, try not to do that again" I always say please try not to do it again, because, well, really, if you say don't do that again, guessing over the next few years he will. Then ask for a hug and ask for him to say sorry. I have learned that when they get more attention for their bad behavior, they tend to do it over and over again.
Good luck, and hope you find something that works!
K.
My daughter went through this too, we tell her that hands are not for hitting and they are for only nice touches. I believe there is also a children's book about hands that you can read to him.
Be consistent and things will work out.
It's just for your attention. That means you put him down, walk away, turn you back, ignore him completely. You can peek at him to make sure he is safe, but go about your business while ignoring him.
You can even get a treat that he likes and eat it. If he asks for some, just say that boys who hit do not get cookies.
Of if he asks for something later, tell him that he doesn't get it because he hit you today. It will take time, but eventually he will learn that it is not worth the punishment. He doesn't get your attention or his favorite things.
There is no yelling, no time outs. Just calm consequences to his actions.
My daughter just turned 21 months. She will also hit. We remove her from whatever it is. If she wants attn and she hits, she loses it rather than gets more. One things at this age is they do not remember things until it is over and over and over. This can be very frustrating but it is very important to be consistant. My d also will throw things at you or at the cat, though she is usually very good with the cat. When that happens, we take things away from her. And as already mentioned, always talk to her about it telling her why it is not the right thing she should do. It will sink in but will take time. When she hits or, as started in the past couple months, walks up and bites, we show her that she hurt whomever was her victim at the time so she understands what her action did.
Hello J.,
Your son needs something; that is why he is behaving in this manner. He might need more one on one time with you, more loving and compassionate guidance, more attention, or redirection toward something he CAN hit: but whatever the need, punishment will not stop the behavior. The behavior will only change when the need she has is finally met. I pasted a blog post below on the topic.
XO
Linda
www.RivieraPlaySchool.com
"miss" behavior, not "misbehavior"
Every misbehavior is a symptom of a need that is unmet, or "missed."
In the words of Ruth Beaglehole, CNVEP, "Every behavior is a tragic attempt to meet an unmet need... tragic because the behavior in question will NOT result in the need being met."
It is our challenge, every time our child "miss" behaves, to determine what that unmet need is, and then help them to find a behavior that meets that need, rather than misses it!
Lots of Love,
Linda
www.RivieraPlaySchool.com
rent a video called 1,2,3 magic. it will teach you techniques that will help.
