Two and a Half Year Old Refuses to Brush Her Teeth

My daughters were not happy about teeth brushing either, but are fine with it now. Here's what helped:

* They use their toothbrushes to do it themselves and when I brush I use a finger toothbrush.

* They choose the position to brush in - standing, on my lap etc.

* The toothbrush talks to them every night and asks them what is on their teeth and they say penguins, elephants etc. I ask how many and they tell me. Then as I brush I count the number of animals toothbrush has gotten and the animals make noises as they are running away and assorted silliness. I sometimes sing:
"I'm gonna brush those penguins off of your teeth
I'm gonna brush those penguins off of your teeth
I'm gonna brush those penguins off of your teeth
And send them off to play"
To the tune of "I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair"
Totally silly but it works - and if they laugh their mouth is wide open, so all the better.

My daughter, who just turned 2, does not let me keep the brush in her mouth more than a few minutes. Some nights she fights and I have to force it in. I use a lot of singing but sometimes that doesn't even work. She is too young and speech-delayed to understand reward system. Just wanted to let you know I know what you're going thru! I just take pride in the fact I am taking good care of her teeth and as she grows older she will accept that more and more, and eventually do it on her own.

You probably don't need to worry too much. I understand you would like to create the habit of brushing teeth and that is great, but at this point forcing her will have the opposite effect. Our daugther is three now and brushes her teeth "all by herself" and then gets my help to finish up. When she was two the pediatrician advice us not to struggle everynight, nothing will happen if she doesn't brush her teeth everyday. Just to think about the struggle before bed was frustrating enough to add the toothbrush fight. A few bites to an apple after dinner will help her with the cleaning (+ benefits of eating fresh fruit) and then just a few strokes of the brush if you can get to it. Let her do the brush as much as you can even if you are not totally satisfied it is better if she gets the idea first. Also we tried "family" brushing, my husband and I will brush our teeth with her that was a lot of fun and she looked forward to it.

Good luck

Have you tried getting a 'cool' toothbrush? Take her to the store and let her pick it out herself? Then, start up a reward chart. For every night she brushes her teeth without a meltdown she gets a sticker. 5 stickers = a new tube of toothpaste, etc. Reward lots and lots early on, then as she gets the hang of it, space out the rewards until they're phased out. I don't think a child should forever be rewarded for brushing her teeth; it is a hygiene principle that she should eventually do autonomously.