Twins Birthday Mix Up

I also agree that if they can't agree, then you make a choice. Like having it in a park or the backyard. You might order pizza, play carnival games and rent a small bounce house, but I would simply make the choices for them.

Honestly, you're the mom, you choose, case closed. They're 5, they'll get over it. A good way to teach them you don't always get what you want in life.

I would choose a third option for them, and not give them the choice.

You need to take the reins with your two little opinionated 4/5 year olds and stop letting them try to call the shots.

You pick a 3rd place that ISN'T Chuckie Cheese or Bounce-U. You tell them that because they have been fighting about this, that you have chosen something totally different. OR better, you don't do a birthday party at all. You are already flying them somewhere for their birthday, and that costs a lot of money already.

You need to stop giving your children so many choices. From your earlier description, it sounds like they are pretty active kids with a lot of personality. You need to make sure that they aren't running roughshod all over you, mom. They need limits and you need to provide them.

This might sound like it's nitpicking, but I would like to mention it anyway. Try not to think of your one twin as the oldest twin and the other as your youngest twin. The birth order doesn't matter. If you think in those terms, you automatically give advantage to one over the other. They are the exact same age. What is different is their personalities. Consider their personalities rather than their age when differentiating which child you are thinking of or talking about.

You take over and make the choice that makes the most sense for your time and wallet. Your justification is that they are fighting about it, so you choose.

It's probably best if it's not ether of the places they've mentioned, so nobody wins or loses.

As an aside, I effing hate Chuckie Cheese.

Maybe it is time that M. makes the decisions? Otherwise, you may have some BIG problems in the future......

I agree with Doris Day..... especially since they've been fighting about it, and can't agree on a common place, YOU pick a third place and THAT is where you have the party...... hopefully that will help teach them to be cooperative with each other in the future.

If they can't come to an agreement, you pick something completely different! Bowling, pool party, something different than their two choices. Might teach them to come to an agreement and/or compromise in the future.

Unless they want to raise the money to pay for their party...

Its great to get their opinion but if they can't agree I would sit down with them and explain that they either have to agree on something or just have it at home. If its during the summer cook out some hot dogs & hamburgers, cake & ice cream, and do a piñata, water balloons, and water guns. We just went to a party today for my sons twin friends and that's what they did. All the kids had a blast and didn't cost as much.

Let them know - the two of you decide on a place by tomorrow, or I choose. If they can't agree by tomorrow, then you choose somewhere completely different, like a picnic at a park.

Hmm, well as a mom I would just say, we will have it at home unless the two of you can agree on another option.
Or I would choose the venue myself.
They are 5, not 25, you're still very much in charge (I hope!)

I've been thinking about this for a while. If they have different friends they should have independent parties. IF they have the same friends then pick someplace neutral like the park and have cake and open gifts. Then let the kids run amok.

Two different people; two different minds; yet everyone wants them to be the same. Poor kids!

Anyone else smell a troll here?

Well, it's a great opportunity to problem solve.
I would sit them down and have them talk about the pros and cons. Why does one prefer one place over the other? What do they like about the idea. Tell them how much money it cost. Let that be part of a pro and con list. Who do they want to invite.
They might be disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing - certainly not b/c one of them dreads the idea of one of those locations. Or maybe a birthday party at one location and a family day at the other on their actual birthday might satisfy their separate desires.

Tell them that although it costs a lot of money -you were trying to make them happy and now this isn't leaving you feeling good b/c they are fighting over two great options and the 3rd option will be moms pick which will be neither of these choices.

ideas for that:
a costume party (at a park even)
A park party can have a face painter - or just great games - water guns, bubbles, a scavenger hunt, etc..
The children's museum in Portland
There is a paint your own pottery place in Westbrook (I think)
bowling
movie theater
Or they could each pick a best friend and do a day at the water park or some other special activity
If they are girls - there is a salon that does "make over's" and will give the kids make over's and put out a red carpet and stuff like that.

Tell them that because they can't agree, you will either pick the place for them or have it at home (whichever YOU think is best but if you pick a place make it a differerent place than either of them picked or it will look like you have sided with one and not the other.)

Another option would be that your present to each of them could be an outing to the place they picked and that way they both got what they wanted as far as where they are going but you still only had one party.

Third place/option that they both would enjoy (Gym with a pool?) Maybe make it a surprise since they can't agree, and give them clues so they get excited about option "C"?

If they can't agree, you have a couple of options:
1. You pick a place (not either of those)
2. Each child gets to pick 2 friends and go on an outing at their place of choice. Taking 4 kids to two different places is the same as taking 8 to one... and you can do it without a "package" deal.
3. Give them two different choices and have them figure it out together.

It is important for twins to recognize their individuality. So having separate parties may be in their best interest. Some options would be to limit the number of guests. Tell them they can only invite five of their closest friends. Another option is to skip years. Only have birthday parties outside your home on odd birthdays (5,7,9, etc). If none of those options work for you, then think about what they both will like and just tell them that the party will be at this other venue. Get them excited about it! Good luck!

If they want separate parties with separate kids, fine. Just because they were born on the same day doesn't mean they like everything the same. You can handle it as if they are 2 kids of different ages born at different times of the year. I'm sure, as twins, they do plenty of things together and you already spend lots of time getting them to agree with each other. I have neighbors with twins, and they used to have a joint party and now have separate ones. They are in separate classrooms at school and have some different friends.

They don't get to invite 20 kids, that's all. Mamapedia is full of posts about families who can't afford these big parties, yet they keep struggling to do so. Believe me, no parents want their kids going to 20 or 30 parties throughout the year, yet they still feel compelled to invite 20 or 30 kids to their own kid's party! Makes no sense! Scale back.

You keep it small and affordable. They each invite 3 other kids, plus the sibling. You can't ask the same friends to commit to 2 different days for you, so your kids choose up friends. If they can't agree, they either have one party or they choose names out of a hat. Or they have no party.

If the venues have a party minimum of 10, then you have a bigger decision. Your kids either choose a place out of a hat, or they choose a new venue, or they have a party at the beach or the park or the back yard. You cannot be destroyed financially by 2 5 year olds.

What about having the party at home, in your yard if you have space...rent a bounce tent and see if you can get Chuckie to come to your place for a fee. It never hurts to ask.