I stay at home with 27 month old very active twin boys. My husband recently joined a new job in another state and I will join him in a couple of months. Most days go fine, but some days I struggle with the boys to clean up their toys before dinner. I want them to help me, but they find devilish pleasure in doing just the opposite. One spills the box I just filled with toys, other throws toys high in the air, or pushes big toys around the room, etc etc.. It is amazing how fast they can do all this .... they really know how to multi-task when it comes to creating a mess! Sometimes I threaten to throw away their toys if they do not care for them properly ... then they help me some or if they still don't, I ask them to do some artwork in another room, while I secretly(!) clean up.
When there is only one, he is the sweetest angel you can have around, but when they are together, they have this mob-behavior (for the lack of a better word). Neither of them behaves half as nice as they are without the other. This mob-behavior spills in other areas during the day. Did other moms of twins have such an experience .... can you help me with some ways to help them think independently when together and to help them behave half as nice as they really are, so they are not fueled by the other in naughty behavior. Is this just a temporary phase with toddler twins?
Thanks!
Thank you all for the advise. I guess, it is just a matter of time that this mob-behaviour will lessen. Till then, I am enjoying and loving every bit of this oh-so-temporary chaos in my house!
I am not a mom of twins, but a mom of three and a teacher in an urban setting, threats go unheard, put the toys in a bag, hide it , let them believe that it is gone, this will get their attention...
ok i do have a set of twins not like the others but one person who knows what we go through with our twins b/c twins are not like other children. i have 5 kids in the ages of 1 to 5 but twins is not like having others that is almost the same age or even close this is what i have learned and someone has tight me. if anything i can say that my twins are a girl and boy so it is not the same as your twin boys b/c they are going to be more as a team, but i can say my twins do alot of things together that you could not believe. if anything what someone has told me to do is get with a group of moms that has twins b/c twins is not the same as having alot of kids the same age group. i can say that i know this. My twins work together and their minds work together so well. they can read each other so the best i can say find a group of moms in your area. they will be able to help you better than anyone can. I can't give you any thing but try to find a group b/c this will help more than any body that has just kids. i hope i help out but i just got up set when the other moms tryed to say something about kids that they have around the same age and not twins. i hope the best of luck. oh i know there is a group in evansville, in b/c i been to the group and they are great people and they understand twins b/c they are moms of twins and more. best wishes C.
It is temporary evil and necessary evil (har) to be FIRM with them and use the MOMMY VOICE. I find that w/ my son and my daycare child (3.5 and 2.5 respectively), they do same to me, and unless I am firm w/ them, using that mommy voice (that i really don't like to pull out, if i don't have to), they do not listen to me and run roughshod on this house. My son will clean up his toys unless she's around, then they dump every single box of toys on the floor. I really don't like how I feel about myself some days for having to use this voice, but find I get no other results unless The Voice comes out and/or Time-outs, BUT I do get results and I do find that when I have higher expectations of these children, they do try to live up to them. Before I had my daughter I pretty much let my son do whatever he wanted w/o consequence, and realized when he was about 2.5 that was a big mistake! :) I began giving him time outs, actually, at age 2, and he was fine until this new daycare girl started, and she is given NO BOUNDARIES at her home so she doesn't know how to follow them here. She's been here 3 weeks and I do find she's behaving a little better when I give her time-outs. Her father is EXTREMELY STRICT with her, and uses the nastiest voice and face I've EVER seen on a parent, but I guess that's what she's used to (otherwise she wouldn't be 2.5 and fully potty trained). I CANNOT say that i'm in any agreement w/ his parenting style, but because it's what she's used to, she's not used to my more-gentle nature and repetition to get what i want out of these kids (clean up, hands washed, teeth brushed, etc), by the end of th day I feel like a real ogre. THE GOOD NEWS IS, After 3 weeks she really is taking off over here and I find I have far less time outs and Mommy Voice times during the day! It was really hard in the beginning of her stay to switch off the Mommy Voice at the end of the day, my husband wondering what happened to me, but it's a necessary good! It's "reprogrammed" my own son after this new arrival, and also my daycare girl. If you can do it (it does take some inner strength to stick to your guns and not be like "oh i'm so sorry about this time out!" :), you will see results in a few days. I hope! :) GOOD LUCK! N
Well, I hate to tell you this (mine are almost 3) but they just get better at working together to make huge messes and get into trouble. I make a game out of cleaning up, like who can find a yellow car to put in the bin, or who can find the most blocks, etc. and we also sing the clean-up song. Also, if you are going to threaten to take their toys away if they don't clean them up, really do it one day and see if that helps. Good luck!
