When my daughter turned 10 we noticed that she had started to develop and I got her a bra. She was ecstatic and wore it almost everyday. Then one day at a sleepover her then "BFF" made fun of her for wearing one and for her being developed. Since then she has been very reluctant to wear one. She is almost 11 and is complaining that her chest hurts. Her doctor talked to her and told her she needs to wear one and I have told her she needs to wear one. She will only wear white or skin tone and gets upset if you can see it through her shirt. She tells me that the bras are not comfortable. I had bought her training bras at Walmart. Is there a different kind that would be more comfortable?
***she is also the oldest in her class because her birthday falls right after the cutoff. So one of the disadvantages of being older is that she is one of the first developing (although there are some other girls that I bet are wearing bras that she doesn't know about). The girl that made fun of her is one of the youngest and is still very flat and a jealous type.
Kids can be mean. I just bought my almost-11 yr old her first training bra from target last week. It's white and very simple. The brand is xhilaration and it's in the training bra area. No underwire, soft and stretchy.
Go for nude camis with built-in bras. They look like tank tops and are invisible under shirts. And frankly, count your lucky stars that she wants to be discreet, which is much preferable to the girls who have brightly-colored, patterned, or black bras that you can see through their shirts, with straps hanging out everywhere.
Target has some cute camis with built-in shelf bras that might provide the coverage and support she needs, and Justice has a great collection as well.
Have you tried some sports bras with her?
When my girls were younger, and 'newly' developing, I did camisoles. Then we moved to sports bras. Then I measured for the 'real deal'!
The sports bras were an easy transition from the cami.
I feel her pain though...i developed between 9 and 10. Peers can be merciless.
How irritating that her "BFF" made her feel so self-conscious. :( I'm sure you probably know that the problem is likely not that the bras are uncomfortable, but that she is worried she is somehow "different" thanks to the input of this so-called friend.
Just is case it is the bras, I learned from my 12 year old niece that "bralettes" from American Eagle are apparently very coveted by her and her friends:
http://www.ae.com/bras-bralettes-view-all/aerie/s-cat/485...
It might help that they are cute.
ETA: I'm guessing you have given her other information about puberty or changes to her body, but 'The Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls' has a section on bras too (among a ton of other information).
Take her with you to a department store ( NOT WALMART) and get fitted. Dillard's has good filters. Find something she likes that is comfy. A sport bra could be perfect did her.
Let her try on, move around and figure out what she likes. Stay away from Walmart... Buy her something that is quality. Even places like Academy have good sports bras.
Get the nude color ( nothing white) . Talk to her, let her know this is a part if her life from now own. Give her power in choosing what she likes.
Sorry she's feeling that way. I remember that feeling. Poor thing.
There's a youn woman who started a bra line for girls your daughter's age. It's called Yellowberry and here's an article about it ... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/16/megan-grassell-y...
She started the line because she took her sister bra shopping and was dismayed at the choices. Maybe if your daughter reads this story and looks through the collection from Yellowberry that will help and she can pick something from there. I also second taking her someplace to be properly measured. Find the books The Care and Keeping of You ... That may help too. Best wishes to her as she enters the next stage of her life.
Here's the Yellowberry catalog ... Such cute bras!
It's too bad her friend made fun of her.
Instead of paying attention to this 'friend' your daughter needs to realize the problem is 'with' this friend and not herself.
Her friend lacks maturity in more than one area.
Have her spend more time away from her friend.
It might be time for this friendship to take a time out - but sometimes it's a sign that the friendship is over and it's time to move on to others.
My girls preferred wearing sports like bras in the beginning. They said they were more comfortable and don't show under clothing the same since they are not the same shape. They looked more like t-shirts underneath--as long as they had no bows.
No, most girls are needing a bra by this age. Does she have more boobies than them? Are they large and getting no support? If she's flat, sort of, but hurting does that mean she's growing or is there an issue inside?
My daughter is also developing and I took her to kohls and bought her a bunch of trainer bras. The ones that she likes (but still doesn't like wearing anything) are really stretchy like spandex, not the cotton ones with elastic. They also don't leave a line that you could see around the chest and the back is like a sports bra where the straps meet together so you don't see it when she wears a tank top. Maybe try one like that. I think they came in a 2 pack and they have them in lots of different colors including white.
Check out Yellowberry bras. http://www.yellowberrycompany.com
They are designed by a teen girl who designs them with her tween-aged sister in mind. They are a little spendy, but they are high quality. I love her philosophy behind her designs. They are fun colors, but she also has neutral colors. When my daughter is ready for a bra this is definitely where we will get them from.
