Tutor Leaves 12-Year-old Boy Alone a Lot, and Now Outside or Garage - WWYD?

I would tell the tutor what son is saying but that you believe he is only saying it to get out of tutoring. That you will be sitting reading or whatever you like to do while she is tutoring him so he has no excuse and it saves you time from driving back and forth. Tell her you are about to pull him out because you are tired of hearing it from him. Maybe loosing the money will make her change and you sitting there you know what is going on. Good luck !

This is so far beyond wacky I have no idea why you would have put up with this nonsense for so long. I am a private tutor. I work for a test prep company but we also do academic tutoring. WE go to YOUR house (or the library or wherever), where you are home to observe, pop in, ask questions etc. Your child works in a comfortable space, in his own home, that is equipped with good lighting, supplies, and space to spread out materials. If such a space doesn't exist in your home, or it's too distracting, then we arrange for a room at the local library. When we give a student short bursts of work to practice exercises independently (as in 10 minutes at a time at most), we may do something non-distracting like check e-mails on our phone or organize our notes and this is only because students can feel uncomfortable with someone just sitting there doing nothing while they work. But we certainly don't do anything like talk on the phone or attend to other business. Please fire her and get someone else.

Everything about this woman is unprofessional. Please do not continue to give her your business. There are many, many, many qualified tutors out there who will build a good relationship with your child and treat him with dignity and respect.

So get another tutor already. If your husband just really wants him to be tutored, then find one who doesn't act like a babysitter. He will do much better.

Something is wrong with this picture with your husband. Is he friends with her? Does he just want to pay her, regardless of the job she does?

If your son complains about the next tutor and there are stories like this, THEN you know it's your son. Otherwise, the problem is the woman.

You know, Sylvan Learning Center doesn't charge that much and there are rules in place to keep this kind of stuff from happening.

Good luck.

Dawn

Geez does your husband have a crush on this lady? Get a new tutor and tell your husband to suck and egg.

Has it ever occurred to you that you could find a new (real) tutor for your son? I think it's beyond time.

Your husband wants to continue to pay big bucks for mediocrity? Why on earth would you continue to take your son to this woman? There ARE other tutors you know. And it's not rocket science research to find one. Ask your school for a recommendation or two. Switch now. Stop giving your money and your trust to someone who does not deserve it.

And you don't have to "fire" her. Just simply thank her and tell her you won't be needing her services anymore. (If your son already hates school, imagine how much more he must hate sitting in someone's garage with nothing to do....)

Well, your husband is an idiot. Why put your husband through this woman's poor set up and attitude? Seriously, go find another tutor, go to a tutor program in a controlled environment like Sylvan learning center... it's not that hard to make a change.

If your husband wants to throw a big, huge, hissy fit, than he should sit in the garage and listen to the tutor go make dinner and yell at the kids while he supervises the visit. I can't believe this woman is actually getting paid to do that.

Fire her...without a doubt....on so many levels.

There is a LOT of manipulation going on in your little circle. Your tutor manipulates your son. Your husband manipulates you into hiring her again by not talking to you? Who does that????

Find a college kid who will come to your house, so it is under your supervision and your child might actually like the person and the person takes an interest in your son. We have friends that have found tutors on Skype. One of our friend's sons is taking Spanish from a teacher on Skype who lives in Ecuador. How cool is that?

Another option is to offer the money to your son that you would be paying the tutor, if he gets his own grades up. At that age, money is already a big motivating factor.

I homeschool, so I know the challenges of teaching my kids. My son is good at math, but hates it. We just keep figuring out what he's not understanding, so that he gets it....and we keep the motivation up. My 9 year old son gets up at 6am and starts his homework. By the time I get up, he's nearly done with most of it. We give him incentives, like you earn video games by showing us your maturity, etc. We started homeschooling because my son came home from kindergarten graduation not ever wanting to go back to school. He is excelling at home...and loves learning.

Go to a reputable company like Sylvan learning centers where everything takes place in a building vs in a home. I got a lot of help from a math specific tutoring center, but the environment was a HUGE factor for me. In fact, my teachers accomodated me to take my tests in a quiet room with no other students and I succeeded in school with that help. So, I urge you to find a reputable tutor that is held to a standard.

I think it is insane that your son is still going to this tutor. How inappropriate! And I agree with Melissa, what is your husband's hangup???

Get a new tutor.

You definitely need to find a "professional" tutor either out of a location like Sylvan, Lindamood-Bell, and countless others that help kids with their work and where some even specialize in learning disablities like ADD, Aspergers, ADHD. There are strategies that these professionals can use in order to help them with class work and homework. I have a tutor for my asperger son who is not only lovely and encouraging as a person but she is very professional. She always makes her session "positive" and focuses on what he can do not on what he can't. Your son is probably right about her and doesn't respect her. You certainly can't get that back as a teacher once you've lost it. My tutor concentrates on his studies and work completely during the two hours that he sees her. Currently she is tutoring at my home as she is looking for a new office space. You are paying $75.00 for 1 hour and 15 minutes? That is a lot to me. We pay $50.00 for two hours. Good luck and I know it could be frustrating but find the right place and tutor.

It seems you (and your husband) are making this whole thing WAY too complicated. You are paying premium tutor prices for a less than premium tutor, if your son is being honest.

My daughter has used several tutors over the years to maintain her A in math (her challenge subject). Her Dad and I set up the appointments and pay and she meets with a positive attiutude, works hard and gets As.

Over the middle school years she had 4 different tutors with only really mild complaints about one. She just didn't get as much out of her teaching style and yes there were issues of the tutor being distracted too. So after a few months we politely said "thanks for your time but DD will be working on her own for now."

It's time your son was more in control of his life concerning school. If you plan everything and hover around trying to make everything right he will let you do the heavy lifting. Middle school is a time for parents to let go academically and letting the kids take control of their work and schedules. If you are "driving" your son too much and the only reason he's doing well is becuase of your involvement it will all fall apart in a couple of years. You just won't be able to be involved at all in High School, it'll be up to him.

You say he hates school, that's a red flag. I mean not all kids are going to love all aspects of school but if I was hearing that from my child I would be concerned.

It's kind of like the old kid phrase "I'm bored" not OK in our house. If he says he hates school, ask him to elaborate. What does he hate? There must be parts he enjoys, talk to him about life and responsibility, finding joy in the parts he does like and buckling down to get the work he's not crazy about done. If he is not invested in being a good student, on his own, then it won't last no matter how hard YOU try.

None of this is appropriate. I agree with others that you need to find a new tutor preferably one that comes to your house. You need to be available to be sure your son is being treated with respect and in an environment condusive to learning. Good luck.

You sure seem to love to fire folk. Is your son ever to blame on any if this?