Turning 5 Worse than the Terrible 2S!!!!!!!!

It seems that the more you try to push children away the more they cling. I have always tried to do the opposite and keep my kids close to me (ie, tell them i want them to stay with me, not drop them off places, etc. i even didn't bring them to anything i could not go to with them until they were around 5 or so). At the end of this time my kids were asking to go places without me rather than the other way around... try to stop pushing. it is only a very small amount of time in their lives that kids are so little that they need you there.

I wonder whether your daughter is afraid of something she saw on TV or heard someone talk about. I'm suggestible and can't stand to watch TV shows with rough talk or that show violent behavior, especially toward women. There's a lot of scary stuff out in the world, and I guess our children need to be protected but also open to new things.

hi amy,i have been going through similar experiences with my daughter whos 5 and is an only child,i think you responded to my question,thank you.i spoke with my daughters teacher last week a couple of times.teacher told me that this is very common behaviour.she said that some kids need more attention than others and i think that because my daughter is the only child at home that she is used to so much more one on one time that she dosent get at school.like your little girl my daughter loves school and her teachers so i know thats not the issue.i have looked online about regession and it does sound normal.we have had a good week this week.bed time is back to normal.the only advice i can give you right now is to stay strong this will pass.have lots of talks to your daughter to see if anything else is bothering her,but i think it does come down to the fact that she wants that extra attention at home because shes not getting it at school,with so many other kids.good luck,if i thing of anything else i will leave you know.this is a lot harder for you than it is for her!!!!!!!!!!!L.

Well, if she needs to do that at drop off then she needs to do that. It's clearly not effecting the rest of her day. Perhaps you can give her other ways to deal with her anxiety besides crying. Sounds like she does fine when you are not there though, but when you are she clings to you. Maybe try letting her be more. Can your husband ever bring her to a playdate? Do you think she would act the same if he were there. I'm sure she'll grow out of this. She's just trying to figure out a way to cope with new situations it sounds like.

My daughter has had similar issues which I ended up addressing with the school adjustment counselor. She had mentioned that some children don't know quite how to put there finger on it or articulate what the problem is, but are sometimes very fearful that something might "happen" to their mom or dad once they leave them at school. It can sometimes turn into a preoccupation with death or the parent just not coming back. Do you think she could be worried about you? Has she maybe seen something of this nature on t.v.? Anyway, just something to think about.

I ended up seeing a difference in my daughter after she changed school and the morning routine was somewhat altered. Now she lines up outside with her whole class and then enters the building, rather than going in on her own. I've found this has made a huge difference when she can enter the classroom with a friend or two.

Another thing I had tried that might be helpful was a behavior chart. I posted if on the refrigerator and explained to her that she would get a sticker for every day she was able to go to school without tears. When she received five stickers, I would then take her to the Dollar Store so that she could pick out a prize. This seemed to help as well. The reward doesn't have to be something purchased, but just something that she gets excited and motivated about. Once she starts earning stickers consistently, you can then up the number of stickers she must earn before getting the reward.

Anyway, good luck. Hopefully this phase will pass quickly!

hi i was about to post a very similar problem today, you beat me to it, my usually rambunctious little boy is expressing the same behaviour, and wants a baby please but finance is not possible now. so keep strong and keep reinforcing that you love her and time and GOD will have to do the rest with the baby.

J. b

Boy did your message hit home. Like you I had the confident, yet sometimes quiet little girl who two weeks ago had a melt down at dance for no apparent reason and when I questioned her the only answer I got was "I miss you". She's been in preschool for a year and a half and never once cried at drop off and at pick up always wanted to stay longer. For the past 2 weeks I leave her crying every day. It doesn't last long and it comes in waves during the day but her teachers are good about distracting her. I have 2 other children neither who ever pulled anything like this. She won't go anywhere because "I might miss you" and wants to be with me 24/7. I don't get it. Even at bed time she'll go to bed and the first question is are you going downstairs, when we're home together she plays nicely for a while and then has to check in, sometimes she'll follow me around that if I stop too quick she runs into me. She is my baby and I admit I never wanted her to grow up too quickly but have always allowed her to be independent and she always has been. I really hope this is a stage and we get over it quickly. I know this doesn't help much other then to know you're not alone and I am anxious to see your responses. Thanks.