My 20 month old son asks for "Mommy's milk" all day long. He actually says, "Drink Mommy's Milk." I know he isn't hungry, he just wants to nurse for comfort. I'd like to start the weaning process. But, if I don't nurse him he just keeps asking for "Mommy's milk" and will cry, so I give in and nurse. My milk supply is pretty low at this point and more than half the time when he nurses there isn't any milk. I say, "All done, there is no more milk." But he says, "No" and continues to nurse. He just wants to be close. Also, he does drink whole milk during the day so the milk intake isn't an issue. He seems to be teething too. Is it too early to get his second year molars? My older son didn't start getting those until he was over two years old. I don't mind still nursing for comfort, but just not every hour.
I do have an older son who is almost 4 years and he was the opposite. He weaned himself at 13 months. One day he just decided he didn't want to nurse anymore and that was the end of that. My 20 month old loves to be held, hugged, and kissed, whereas my 4 year old doesn't like as much physical contact. I guess this is why my 20 month old still wants to nurse. But, sometimes it hurts because he pulls at the nipple and plays with it in his mouth when there isn't any milk. Also he still wakes up at night and I nurse him back to sleep. I'm worried about cavities! We had been down to nursing just at nap time, before bed, and once or twice at night, but then he got sick and only wanted to nurse for about a week. This happened a few months ago and since then he has been wanting to nurse more and more. Any suggestions on how to slowly wean?
Always know it's ok to say no. Children need to understand they can't always have what they want, when they want. You set the scheduled, and stick to it, be consistant. That is what will make the difference in just about any situation.
Nursing him is very unlikely to cause cavities! That concern is only for bottlefed babies.
My 22 mos old likes to nurse a lot too and i have never had this experience before and he is my fifth!! I know that I can distract him by playing w/him, giving him ice chips to chew on, etc. He may be thirsty. Offer him plenty of water, not just milk. Water is much better than milk for quenching his thirst. When my little guy gets thirsty, he will want my milk a LOT especially in the Texas heat!
Also, you probably have a LOT more milk than you realize. When i was away for a weekend, I thought it would be no problem; boy was I wrong!! I had to pump milk several times a day just to keep from being so uncomfortable! I have even had dreams where I am telling people that he is addicted to "teta" (sp pronunciation)b/c he finds me in his sleep yelling for it!
Remember, this is temporary and will end sooner than you think and then you will miss it. He will be so independent, he will hardly want you!
Blessings,
M.
Mom to 5 Wonderful Kids, 1 sweet daughter and 4 boys
www.4MyChildrenSake.com
i nursed my son until he was just shy of his third birthday. i finally told him (he could understand and speak clearly about his needs, just like yours!)that mommie's body was tired, and we needed to slow down. we did it together, one feeding at a time, and yes he would cry, but i would just hold him close until he felt better (which happened pretty quickly) and then we would go play something together. then on the last day, we made a booby cake! a big celebration for him (and me, yippeeee!). so congratulate him on his new phase of life.
Hi Jen,
It sounds like your son is using you as a "lovie" and you'd like your independence back. Have you introduced a pacifier?? I would try that first, with a brand that imitates your nipple as close as possible. Latex are softer than silicone but you need to watch his biting on them (they'll shred after some time). To introduce, try giving it to him when he's asking for "Mommy's milk" at a bad time - when you definitely don't want to nurse.
Then, cut back nursing to only two or three specific times a day, as was suggested previously. After a week or two, drop another feeding. If he can use a cup, say he can have a drink from his Big Boy cup, but it's not nursing time anymore. The hardest feeding to drop is the nighttime one, so save that for weaning last.
Unfortunately, the hardest part of the process will be on you - you MUST stay consistent and determined. He will cry, scream, throw his pacifier/cup/bottle/food/toys/etc. Trust me, he'll live. Don't give in!!! Be loving, but firm. You are Mom, you are the boss.
You probably spend a ton of time with the boys... if possible, have your husband spend time with them during your baby's regular nursing session (one you're trying to drop). If you're out of sight, he may forget about nursing! Make sure he's eating well at regular meals, and things will work out great.
Good luck & congrats on nursing so long - mine all weaned themselves before/at a year (independent little things!) :)
If you REALLY want to wean, have set nursing times so that he doesn't nurse whenever he wants. Like, when he gets up in the morning and before bed at night. Make it obvious what time it is to nurse so when he wants to nurse you can say that it's not time to nurse until such and such (like until after we get our pjs on for bed tonight.) He might not understand at first but he'll get the idea after the first two or three days. Have only two or three nursing times and then decrease one of those after a week or so.
Make sure there isn't easy access- wear a bra. Don't let him see you naked ect. When he needs comfort, get a favorite blanket or toy and hold him close, rock, sing, ect. When you eliminate a nursing time replace it with this activity too. Make sure he doesn't miss out on cuddle time with mom!
Hope this helps,
S., mom to four girls and another on the way!
At this point, there's no need for him to nurse. Announce to him that in two days there will be no more nursing. Keep telling him as the time approaches, and then follow through. He may cry for a couple of days, but stand firm, and then it will be over. I nursed 5 kids, and I had to get 2 of them off this way. (One of them announced at 18 months that my milk was "out of order" and stopped herself. Maybe you can tell your son that the milk is out of order!)
Congratulations, Jen, on nursing your babies!
My 18mos old asks for "numnums" frequently. At this point, he is teething his canines, so he needs lots of Mama Comfort. A book that has been helpful to me is "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" that La Leche League published. It does talk about the benefits of extended breastfeeding - as you would expect a LLL book to do :-) But in Part 4 it talks extensively about weaning - different methods, things to watch for, etc. I highly recommend it. Your local library would likely have it. Your local LLL chapter is sure to have it in their library.
http://www.lllhouston.org/
As for cavities...just use common sense. Brush his teeth, gums and tongue as often as you do your own. Mother's milk, by itself, has been shown to be no more harmful than water to teeth - indeed beneficial in some studies. Those same studies also show that when breastmilk is combined with sugar, that teeth tended to decay quickly. Again, use common sense - skip the "whites" - white sugar, white flour, etc. Choose healthful foods for your baby and those foods, with your breastmilk, will be fine for his body (and teeth). If there is a family history of childhood cavities, then more care should be taken to wipe his teeth before he sleeps...again, this is covered in LLL's book(s).
I hope you find this helpful. If anything I wrote needs clarification, don't hesitate to email me
K., mama to
Catherine, 4.5y
Samuel, 18m
ps - sorry for any typos, nak-ing today
The good news is that you don't really need to worry about cavities. Breastfeeding generally puts any milk to the back of the mouth and has antibacterial properties to boot. Cavities are generally associated with bottle feeding.
You have to consider that he just might not be ready to wean. However, that isn't to say that you shouldn't set some limitations--no playing, biting, pulling allowed. The minute any "horseplay" starts you must end the nursing firmly.
Try to eliminate the least stressful nursing of the day--keep the times where comfort might be especially needed (like naptime). Cut all the extra nursing out over a couple of weeks and see how he responds. Every day doesn't have to be perfect and you don't have to feel like you're "giving in". Associate a toy or blanket with nursing and you can use it for comfort--this has worked great with my daughter.
There is a different method for every baby. Distractions. Special toys. Allowing your husband to do the night comforting. You'll have to try everything for a few days, but you'll find something that works.
Don't forget a lot of extra cuddling and love during this transition.
