Trying to Transition Almost 2 Year Old to Her Own Bed

I say let the baby sleep with you! Unless you and your husband are in disagreement on that...Sex can be had other places, if thats your issue...LOL! Anyway, the way I feel about it is this: There will probably come a day when she doesn't even want to be around you so take advantage of these times when she would rather be in your bed than hers. It's kinda the same outlook of potty training..they will do it when their ready and the day will come that she is ready to be a big girl and not sleep with mommy and daddy anymore...My 5 1/2 year old was colicky also, so I know what you are talking about when you say ya'll slept in the recliner for a while. I FINALLY quit listening to the drs. and put my baby on his belly (after feeling like I was a bad mommy for even THINKING about doing such a thing). When I did he went from not sleeping at all, to sleeping thru the night with no disturbances. He slept in his crib in my room for 8 months and then transitioned straight into my bed. Now, he isn't that interested in sleeping with us and that's fine cause now my 4 year old daughter (who by the way began sleeping in her own room the minute she came home from the hospital til about 6 months ago) wants to sleep with us all the time! I know I am rambling, but I think we as moms can be so intimidated by what books say, and what drs say, and what others say is the right and wrong thing to do, that we forget to use OUR instincts and just do what is right for OUR family. HOpe this helps...God bless you!

that is exactly what we did, we brung her bed in our room for a while. if she is waking up cryin in the middle of the night she may be having bad nightmares, i had this and so did some of my kids, i slept with my mom till i was 12 and had these night mares till i was 16. first try the bed in your room, then when that starts going better, try hanging a curtain and make sure she had a night light.

E., Personally I don't think it's such a big deal to have your child sleeping with you other than the lack of attention needed by yourself and husband, lack of room on the bed, feet and arms in face and no sex with husband. I do think your on the right track with the room exploration, the more calming and beautiful her space is the more she will want to be there.

The other thing I would suggest is: go to her room at night lay on her bed with the lights out to feel and see what she feels/sees, also try as you mentioned put a palette in her room or try lying down with her until she fall asleep.

I also struggled with this issue.

E., I personally don't think its any big deal to sleep with kids. I love sleeping with my kids especially when they flop their little hands into your face. I would probably keep letting her until she grows out of it which will happen naturally. Some people (like my mother) make such a fuss about this. If its not interfering with your sleep, then I wouldn't change anything.

Good luck!

Its sad to say our son was 42 months old (3.5 yrs) when we finally got him out of our bed. We were getting ready for our daughter to be born 12-14-07, so it turned out to be just a few days really before our daughter was born that he finally decided to sleep in his own room. hope the best for you!

E.; I have 3 boys all almost grown now. I had no structure and all my boys slept wherever, the couch, floor my bed, and my 10 year old still crashed with me when i was single, so i got married and my new husband was not someone they wanted to cuddle up with. Problem solved. But, my advice is my friend uses a cd player on her kids dresser with a little song that she turns on and they lay there and listen to the song, story ect till they fall asleep. Works for her you might try. Good luck.

Hey E.,

I don't think it is a big deal, sleeping with them, except...how do you keep your relationship with your husband in good standing? The bad thing about them sleeping with you is the longer you do it the harder it will be for them to go to bed in their own rooms! I would get a baby gate, put it in her door, and start a routine. Have a story, say your prayers, kiss good night. Then leave the room. It will be hard, you will have to go in and put her back to bed several times BUT i PROMISE, if you are consistant then she will sleep on her own. Its just like potty training. They are already trained: to go in thier diaper. You just have to retrain them to do what you are wanting them to do. I am sure that once she is in her bed you will have to think more seriously about babies 2 and 3! Let us know how it goes!

T.
Helping Moms Work From Home!
www.EnhancingYourWayOfLife.com

I agree with your idea of sleeping in her room with her. That way she gets used to her room AND her bed at the same time (hopefully!). When she seems to be getting more comfortable with her room (and maybe not waking up in the middle of the night anymore??) you could probably just lay in her room long enough for her to fall asleep, then go back to your own bed. If that goes well, start lessening the time you spend in her room as she goes to sleep. Work your way to tucking her in, maybe reading her a book, saying goodnight, & walking out. If you stick with it, she will do fine!

we have had two that sound just like her! we moved ours to a twin mattress, not a toddler bed so that i could lay down with them. whenever they woke up, i would get into their bed, instead of bringing them into ours, then return to mine after they awere asleep. we do still on occasion have a midnight visitor, but for the most part they sleep in their own beds. also, have you read the no cry sleep solution? she has TONS of great suggestions. good luck!

My child had the same issue about not sleeping unless she was on my chest when she was breastfeeding. When she was a little bit older (no longer breastfeeding), I put her in her own bed with a warming blanket on her bed and a bear that made the sound of a heart beat. She was not too quiet the first couple of nights, but she got used to not having mommy there beside her. When summer came and she got warmer, she no longer needed the blanket turned on, but the bear stayed. She is now 9 and sleeps all night without either. My sister on the other hand, has 2 kids that both slept with her until they were 6 or 7. She had tried many different things, none successfully. Her husband finally laid down the law and told them they were too old/big to sleep with mom/dad. Every child is different and remember, children pick up the emotions of the parents more than you think. If you are calm, the child will be calmer.
Good Luck!!

less than 12 hours of sleep will not be an issue for a while, and it does not need to be continuous sleep, even if that's what you would prefer. naps count too.

start a bedtime routine with bath, books, singing, then bed. or whatever order suits you. make it an hour long ordeal. it will help transition her to "bedtime" as opposed to "wakey happy fun play time" get her used to this routine over the next few weeks. with her sleeping in your bed still. then transition her to the crib, sit by her bed for the bedtime reading and the singing. even lay your head down on the bed. to demonstrate and suggest sleep to her. do not leave her to cryfor hours. it can cause brain damage. seriously. look up the harvard study if you must.

my son turned 2 in january and he just started sleeping in his room as well..it was a fight at first..but now we dont have any problems
we always read his bedtime stories in his room and about 30 minutes before i really want him sleeping i put a movie on (not an action get up and dance movie LOL) then i turn it to lullabye music to help him sleep. we had about 2 weeks of crying (had to put the baby gate up) but now he knows that is his bed room..and that is where he is going to sleep
good luck

Three of my four children slept with us. The first two moved out of the bed when the next one came along. But the last one didn't have anyone to push her out. I put a pallet or a the crib mattress next to my bed, just to get them used to sleeping alone, but I was still close. Then I would lay with them in their bed until they fell asleep, if they woke up during the night, I would lay next to them in their bed. Once I started the transition we didn't go backwards. That's why I would lay with them in their bed, instead of letting them come back to my bed. It was tough, but it does work. Just to let you know all of my children are secure and no problems have incurred due to them sleeping with us. The one that didn't sleep with us just has never liked anyone in the bed with her. She was good, she only woke up to eat and get changed. Good Luck! Don't stress yourself or the child out over this issue. They will get in their own bed, when he/she is ready. Try giving naps in their own bed.

I really don't see anything wrong with her sleeping in your bed. At some point in time all 5 of my kids sleep in our bed, and when they were ready they all transitioned into there own beds on their own. They were all between 3 and 3 1/2 years-old. If you really don't want her in your bed I think her own place in your room is a good idea. I promise when she is ready she will transition to her own room. One thing I did do with my kids was made then take daytime naps in there own bed in there own room. I honestly believe that around 3 years old they decided moms bed was crowded and there bed was more comfortable.
Good luck

I have raised four children, and each one slept like a baby and still does! First, you have made a terrible mistake by letting this child dictate to you how she is going to run your bedtime. You are going to have a hard time getting her down, but by following these recommendations which is what should have been done since she was a newborn infant, you will hopefully have bedtime ingrained into her schedule within a week. If you need to put her back in the crib so she doesn't get up and walk around, then do so. If she wakes up and knows she is alone! She knows you are in that house, and she knows exactly where, and she is going to cry and cry if you give in after two hours and take her to your bed! You have to begin to cut the cord and it is the hardest thing to do in the world. A full tummy sleeps better than one that has only had a treat. So be sure that daughter is really well fed, and isn't overly stimulated before you put her down, because she will continue to move around and cry and make noise if she has energy! Play before bedtime is a no no. Calming, quiet music is great, especially classical which has been proven to help children intellectually. Brahms, and other classical musicians, have been put on some very good nite nite CD's for children. Some children like to hold something small in one of their hands; the corner of a blanket, a very small toy that is soft, nothing that makes noise. Put a nitelite in the room, kist and love her before you put her down, cover her up, come up with a saying that you tell her each and every night before you leave so she grows used to the schedule and will realize that means you are leaving the room FOR GOOD, unless (of course) in the case of illness. Quietly leave the room, turn off the light, and close the door. If the door is left open leave it only slightly ajar. You don't want her speaking to people down the hall all night. First tears will come, but she will either cry herself to sleep or fall asleep out of exhaustion if she has had a filling meal, warming bath, rocking, and then putting her down as I recommend. Do not go back into the room! This may be hard, but don't stand by the door waiting for an excuse to go back in! Don't torture yourself that way! Just go into the family room or kitchen and watch tv or read a book, and let her know that it is bedtime. Every night it will be easier. By the end of one week she will know the routine, and she will be ready to sleep at that exact time! IMPORTANT! Meal, bath and bed all begin and end at same time each night. Her body is on a schedule, and you must train it to follow and expect the same thing each night. This will also teach her to trust you and that she can count on you to do the same thing for her each night. If you aren't available dad must follow the schedule. Be sure the music is on as you lay her down, by the way. Don't allow her to be too warm or too chilly. She must be warm on clean sheets with clean pajamas or gown. As comfortable as you can make her. It's really easy and it really works. Show her you love her by allowing her body to get the rest that it needs. Don't have long conversations about her pretty room, she knows what her room looks like. Just dinner, bath and tell her it's bedtime, put on the pajamas, turn on the music, put her into bed and that's that! Since you put the mattress in your bed you know of the physical dangers of a child sleeping with you, but now she is the boss because you have given in to her crying and she has you wrapped around her finger. Little girls are the same as little boys, and I have raised both. All of my children were in bed asleep at 8p.m. every night, then extra time was added as they became older. You will be surprised that after she is used to the schedule she will have trouble staying awake after your selected bedtime! This is the worst habit you could have gotten into. It will be hard to break, and you are the one that has to be firm with yourself. If you follow this schedule it will work, but if you break down in 20 or 30 minutes, you can plan on her sleeping with you for the rest of her life until SHE decides she wants her own bed, and then she is in charge of all decisions. You do not want this to happen! Get her out of your bed immediately! Good luck to all of you! Sara J.