Good Morning A., Yes Suzi Divorce it hard and not Selfish in the least. If people are unhappy with each other why make the children suffer even more. Yes the kids are going to feel pulled this way and that. It does happen and its not their fault, they love both parents. And definitely want to be with them both so will do whatever they can to make both happy. Yes the children shouldn't need to feel this way but WE / they do.
Sorry I digressed there a minute ;)
A. it's not going to be easy on anyone to be able to be with the children to have quality time. ( I am a Kid from 2 divorces ) I was fortunate enough to have a terrific step mom, I loved dearly so time with her when dad was gone was great.
Some questions for you A..
Does he live close by?
Does he work a "normal" type work day? hour wise
Is his mother close by and willing to watch the children if he is away? Great time for Gr ma that is for sure.
Do you not like his "younger" girlfriend? Has she done something to cause friction in the care of the children?
Does she like your children or just tolerating them?
Do you have good or fair communication with your ex? No fighting, yelling etc.
These are questions that will probably be addressed when going to court.
You will probably get physical custody of the children with shared visitation.
Dad could always ask for a different work week with a different day off, that is one option. It's going to be hard coming up with something fair since your dealing with work schedules. My dad got every other weekend and eve's of holidays.
This is getting long I know but it's important for you to think through everything that could possibly come up in court, and keep a clear mind about it. No one is going to be completely happy with the out come.
Will this be a weekly visitation or bi-weekly?
I think one way to do this exspecially through the summer would be to let him take the girls on wed. maybe have his mom pick them up to visit during the day, then he can have Thursday to hang out with them. Friday maybe back to Gr ma's, stay with him fri night, then home Sat morning.
In the long run A., it's what is best for your children and you and your former hubby are the only ones who can honestly decide that. Keep an open mind and ask him to do the same.
Hold no grudges, or anger at the situation. It took both of you to create these precious children and will take both of you to do what is best for them, emotionally, physically & spiritually.
No one whats to air their dirty laundry, but if you ever want to just vent write to me any time. I am a good listener :)
Will be praying for all of you!
K. Nana of 5
____@____.com
PS there is no judgement in this situation. It's a tough thing to go through.
"If God brought you to it, He will bring you through it".