Trying for #2

W. like you it took me a long time to get prego with my first child, I truly believe that the fact that I was very anxious had a lot to do with it. However I know is very hard not to be anxious when you wait month after month for aunt flo not to show. What I did is I used the clear blue easy fertility monitor it worked like a charm is about $200 plus the cost of the sticks but it was well worth it. I got prego the second month I used it. My friend borrowed it and also was successful with it after the second month of using it so I definitely swear by it. This was my last attempt at doing something on my own before going to a fertility specialist. My daughter is 18 mo now. I am now prego with my second and it didn't take much but then again I wasn't expecting it, I was about 1 month away to buy the sticks for my miracle machine and voila. THis is why I think being anxious really didn't help me the first time, but again I know asking to being calm is easier said than done. Hopefully this helps and good luck. Baby dust!!!
O.

Try using those over the counter Ovulation Predictor Sticks. I used it, and so did a few of my friends with success. They are sold right next to the pregnancy test in the drug store. Or you can invest in the Clear Blue Easy ovulation tester. It's like $100-$200, but I hear they work great. GL!

Hi W.,

I am now 43 and had my son at 42 (got pregnant at 41). We tested negative for fertility problems also. We tried on our own, then with clomid and IUI then the full regime and IVF (and acupuncture). We got pregnant with the IVF / acupuncture. While getting pregnant on our own would have been prefered, IVF worked for usand our son is the happiest, sweetest child I've ever met.. I say go for it and good luck.

I know that most doctors say that stress has nothing to do with fertility, but it really does. You need to relax and have fun with it. I know people who stopped ovulating because she was so stressed over not getting pregnant. So try mediation and relaxing. Once you stop worrying about getting pregnant it will happen. Have you tried basal body temp to see when you ovulate (I'm sure you have). And watching for changes in your cervical fluid (again I'm sure you have). I used this web site to help judge when we should have sex to see when we were trying. www.babycenter.com look for the ovulation calculator, ovulation kits get very expensive.

check out the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility -- emphasizes how to work with your body's cycle, non-interventionist, straightforward. All the best to you and your family.

i had trouble at first and tests also proved negatove yet medical professionals, fertility experst had many ideas for me to try...lots of medications including Clomid which didnt help me personally. so, i called mona lisa schultz (see her website0 who told me what route to take or not to take. and i saw an amazing herbalist who gave me a drink fr 1 week after which all was great. this MD/herbalist noted that acupuntcure which i tried previously was overstimulating me...even though i felt relaxed. every body is different, you should do what feels right. i had my baby 2 years ago and am now pregnant again!! i did see teh asme herbalist again. her website is aijalee.com but she's NYC based. it will happen. just do the reserach and meet positive people who will not push drugs on you unless they are what you need, not what they know! ;)

Are you still nursing your 2 yr old? Sometimes are hormones get out of sync with first child esp. if you nursed him.

I personally haven't had this issue yet since I am only going to start trying for number 2 in the fall. But this is something that my parents dealt with (I am five years younger than my brother. My sister in law also had the problem for no apparent reason. The day of her appointment at a fertility clinic is when she found out she was pregnant and two years later they had a surprise baby. So I have to agree with the others and just try to relax. I am sure it is easier said than done. Has your husband tried taking any vitamins or anything? I think that's what my parents ended up doing back in the day. Good luck to you.

Hi W.,

I have two children 5 years old and a 1 year old. I didn't use anything but I did try clearblue ovulation test sticks they come 30 to a bottle. I monitored my cycle for three months and it took 3 months to get pregnant. Relax that is the only way it will work for you. I was driving myself and my husband crazy because it was taking awhile. When the sick starts to get dark then try that night and the next morning again that night and the next morning. And then its the waiting game. Do not over due it because you body has a way of fighting it off. So two days should be fine. Or skip a day and try one more time. Stay on your back for at least 20 to 30 minutes before getting up let it do it thing. They need help sometimes. :) Have fun with it and keep us updated. Good Luck! :)

I would look into the book "Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition" by Marilyn Shannon. It has a lot of good advice on how to work with your body. Also, I'm not sure what you know about Natural Family Planning, but all NFP methods teach you how to read your bodies signs of fertility and are very successful in helping to achieve pregnancy. Plus, it won't cost you an arm and a leg. I hope you are successful.

Stressing out over this isn't at all helpful. I tend to think the first step would be to try to relax. Stop trying for awhile...be good to yourself, get busy with other things you enjoy...Big chance it can happen when you least expect it.

My neice who was your age at the time, went through it all and boy was it expensive not to mention how she suffered great disappointment, stress and depression which effected everyone in her family. It wasn't until she gave up...relaxed, stopped thinking about it, got on with her life and didn't expect it, she then became pregnant again. She now has two beautiful children...

I've heard success stories with chiropractic. Good luck!

Clomid Worked for me. Not saying it will work for you but if it is something you really want to do its worth a try. The first time I took it it didnt work and I think it was because I didnt take it right because the second time worked. The only downfall is I got PMS like crazy for the 5 days.. Headaches and Backaches and stomach cramps but sure enough by the 14 day of my cycle I was pregnant. I hope everything works out for you!

When trying to get pregnant with my daughter, I used a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. It worked after a few months. I too was hesitant about taking fertility drugs and this book was really great.

Try being with your husband early in the a.m. like 5 a.m. it's kind of like a chore..but he is most fertile in the morning after sleeping. After you are with him.. lie in bed for a while.. and wish!!! and say a prayer -- I hope mornings work for you.. good luck!!!

Hi W.,

Buy the book Take Charge of your Fertility, this book is grate. Look for it in amazon.com and read the reviews, you are going to love it.

Amazon.com
This comprehensive book explains in lucid, assured terms how to practice the fertility awareness method (FAM), a natural, scientifically proven but little-known form of birth control (which is not to be confused with the woefully ineffective "rhythm" method). Author Toni Weschler has been teaching fertility awareness for almost 20 years, and it's only just now gaining in popularity. As the book explains, by using simple fertility signs including peaks in morning body temperature and changes in cervical position and cervical mucus, it's possible to determine when ovulation is taking place. Fertility awareness is therefore useful for not only couples who are trying to conceive, but for those who are aiming to avoid pregnancy without the use of chemical contraceptives. It will be of special interest to those women who have suffered from infertility; many FAM practitioners have told the author that by filling in the detailed charts in the book, they've realized that they were chronically miscarrying, even when their doctors told them they weren't conceiving at all. As the book explains, by charting body temperature, it's simple to tell when pregnancy has occurred--and when there's danger of miscarriage. Taking Charge of Your Fertility also explains how to choose the sex of your baby by timing intercourse according to certain fertility signs. It also features thorough, easy-to-understand explanations of hormones, the menstrual cycle, and menopause, along with fertility tests and treatments and their long- and short-term side effects, plus a topnotch resource section. Recommended for any woman who wants to better understand her body. --Erica Jorgensen --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

–Co-authors of The New Our Bodies, Ourselves
This beautifully written guide to a woman's fertility signs....packed with knowledge, wisdom, humor –a must for the bookshelf.

There are 6 years between my first and second children. I went to a gynecologist first, then a fertility specialist in Short Hills and tried several things, including Clomid. The Clomid didn't work, but it didn't have any side effects either. What did work was a procedure that scraped out some residual stuff from my first pregnancy. The doctor said it worked for almost all of his difficult cases; he was right. I got pregnant almost right away. P. S. Our third child came along as a surprise 23 months after the second. Good Luck. Go to a specialist, not your regular doctor, and be as agressive about your treatment as you can.

Try Fertility Blend...www.fertilityblend.com

Works great and is all natural! I didn't even have to finish a whole bottle before I was pregnant!

I just got pg on Clomid at 38 on our first try and very low dose. I am 20 wks. We were trying but no using fertility/ovulation kits. We then did get pg without Clomid but lost the baby to a very early m/c. The clomid did not seem like a big deal but the "working at getting pregnant" really took its toll on me emotionally. I know these are just empty words in theory, but if I had it all to do over again I would just try to relax and not force it, and I think it would have happened naturally.

Hi W.,

Check out the link between fertility and thyroid. Sometimes hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism can hinder the ability to get pregnant.You may do a simple temperature test to determine if you have any issue with your thyroid.
Mary Shomon's Thryoid site at has lots of good info:http://thyroid.about.com/blthyroid.htm
Up to 40% of Americans are hypothyroid--and as we know, probably 90%+ of those are not diagnosed, thanks to the TSH test. Check your temperature and then educate yourself. There is also another site called Stop the Thyroid Madness. Dr. Hotze's website: http://www.hotzehwc.com/ is also a good one.

All the best!

C.

Hi W....
I've been in your shoes, only opposite...it took almost 2 years to conceive our first, then our 2nd was born when our first was only 16 months!

I suggest, in all honesty...forget about trying. If you can, take a nice vacation and relax. I think some get so worked up about trying, etc...they take the fun out of it!

Relax, enjoy your hubby and you may be peasantly surprised soon enough!!

Best wishes,
J.

Hi W.,

How has your diet been? Are you eating healthily, and are you supplementing with vitamins? I'm sure you know this, but make sure your folic acid intake is enough.

Also, you might want to go gluten-free for a while -- gluten sensitivity (not necessarily full-blown celiac disease) can affect fertility, you are talking to someone who lived it. I had a very hard time getting pregnant, and at 38 I went to a holistic gynecologist who did testing on me that no one had ever done before. He determined my hormonal imbalances, my vitamin deficiencies, and put me on a hormone balancing diet which was also gluten-free. He also gave me a bunch of vitamins to take. I got pregnant within 6 weeks of seeing him.

I'd give you his name, but he has moved to Washington, D.C. However, try to go gluten free (at first not easy, but you get used to it, and it's actually a very healthy way to eat). Also, eat organic and natural food, including your meats (if you eat meat -- I do) (Organic first, if not possible, at least natural), so that there are less hormones in the food you're eating -- these hormone-injected animals that we eat affect our own delicate balance! If this does not work try to find a gynecologist who practices holistically, maybe he or she can do for you what Dr. Warshowsky did for me.

Good luck, I hope this helps, and write to me if you have any questions!

D.

Hi W.,

I am in the same situation as you are, except. I am a little older. I got pregnant with my daughter at 40 after only 2 months of trying. Last September we started trying for #2. After about four months of trying on our own with no luck, I decided to see a fertility specialist and find out what the problem might be (this was last December/January). It turned out that I have very high FSH which indicates a low quality/quantity egg supply (due to my age). My RE said that my FSH will fluctuate from month to month and if it goes down low enough, they can use injectable drugs to help me ovulate multiple eggs in a given month and increase my odds of getting pregnant.
I have had 4 IUI's and still no luck. However, with the help of acupuncture I have been able to keep my FSH low and my response to the treatments seems to be getting better each month.
Unfortunately we cannot afford IVF which would help our chances, but I am very lucky that my health insurance covers the IUIs. Most insurance companies only cover fertility treatment up to a womans 40th birthday.
I wish that I had more clear advice for you, but I just thought that I would share my story in case it helps. I can say that I think that the acupuncture really helps as well as anything else that you can do to stay relaxed (It is hard. I know). Also, The injectable drugs (Gonal-F) have not been as hard as I thought they would be and I have not had any significant side effects. Hopefully soon I will have a success story to share. I will pray that you will have a success story very soon as well.
I wish you the best of luck!
-B.

for me, those ovulation kits (stress-in-a-box, i called them) didnt help. stress has a huge impact. your cycle definitely could have changed since your last pregnancy. check out toni weschlers book "taking charge of your fertility" you can probably just google it and find the info you need, read about cervical mucus. that totally did the trick for us, twice! i wasnt ovulating when i thought i should be, the temperature charting helped me to figure that out, but that is so stressfull too. the egg-white-cervical-mucus is the key. when you have that, you are good to go. best of luck.

as everyone has said, try not to get so stressed out about it. easier said than done, i know. it took almost 2 years to get pregnant with my first. i was on clomid for months and did a bunch of iui's. nothing worked. (my sister was on clomid for short time and got pregnant with twins) then we said we would try ivf. we decided to put it off until after the summer and just enjoy ourselves. whay-la, i got pregnant that july by having good ol' fashion sex. then it was time to start to try for number two. since we did have some fertility issues i went to the fertility dr after trying for some time. did a few more iui's and still nothing. i came home from the dr's one day with a stack of prescriptions because the dr wanted me to do all the injections you would do for an ivf but he would do another iui. my husband told me to throw them away. i did. we decided that we were blessed with emma and we would try on our own again. we continued to try but i got to the point in my life were i pretty much convinced myself that it was ok to have just one child. i got pregnant within a month or two after that. the first child took almost 2 years and the second took one year and one month. i did use the clearblue easy ovulation kits since my cycle was almost always about 40 days so it was hard to figure out when i was ovulating.

keep trying and keep reminding yourself how blessed you are to have a beautiful child that so many other women so desperately want.

i don't know anything about the books that other women have suggested. i'm sure they are great but my only other advice is to stay off the internet. don't go on those websites that everyone is sharing every detail of their infertility. it will set you crazy. i know from experience.

enjoy your summer and have fun with your husband.

oh yeah - i was almost 38 with my first and 40 with my second.

i think if you are healthy it is all about timing and cm. yes check out taking charge of your fertility. but also buy yourself the OVwatch. it is pricey but worth the effectiveness and no more stress. ovwatch.com
i am 42, had a missed miscarriage my first pregnancy in march then got OV watch since i didnt want to waste time and got pregnant the second month using it!!Probably would have been the first month but my uterus was still healing from d and c. i also took evening primrose oil during ovulation to create more cm and drank loads of raspberry tea.
dont stress good luck!