Troublesome Eater

I had a picky eater. And he wouldn't eat what he wasn't interested in if I let him sit there all night! He trained me that this doesn't work.

This is what I finally decided. If I tried to force my child to eat or try things I was creating an unhealthy power struggle or even an eating disorder.

My advice is to keep offering, but NO forcing. At this age always have something you know he will eat, even if it is the same thing every day. Just get the nutrition in.

Later on he will try more, but it may be in about 15 years! Once my youngest went to camp he became experimental. He eats very healthy. All worked out.

Give him a vitamin supplement too. If you would like the names of some good ones let me know.

I know he is only 17 months old but maybe having him "help" would get him more interested in what your preparing. Let him help stir things, add things, pour things...

I have two little girls. Although they will eat ANYTHING they are usually more excited when the plate is colorful. For example if we have fajitas I use every color pepper I can find. They also like being in charge. About twice a month we have pizza night. I buy individual pizza crusts and prepare a bunch of toppings, pepperoni, mushrooms, olives, peppers, onions, chicken, pineappe... and they get to make their own pizza. They don't always like their creations but they are more than happy to try them. (I always make a plain pepperoni for back up!) We also love planting a garden. The girls go out and pick something every day to eat. They will eat anything they have grown themselves. We also have muffin tin Monday. I bought each of them a six tin muffin pan and every Monday we fill it up for dinner. Each circle gets a different food... cheese, carrots and ranch, ham, pepperoni, pears, grapes, whatever they find that sounds good to them.

I think most importantly, make ONE dinner every night. Your son may eat or he may not eat but catering to his demands is too hard on you. He will eat if he is hungry and if he has to eat what's in front of him he is more likely to (eventually) eat what is served.

Some of our staples and ideas for you:
pasta with veggies (mushrooms, asparagus, wilty greens)
beef sausage w/ bbq sauce
mashed cauliflower
roasted eggplant, squash or cauliflower
meatballs
fresh fruit
grilled mozerella, basil and tomatoe sandwiches
BLT's with avacado
roasted red potatoes with red onion and garlic
steamed green beans with almonds
mashed sweet potatoes
steamed carrots with honey
roast
tomatoe soup (home made) with sour cream and goldfish on top.

hi~
I have worked with a lot of picky eaters. Some suggestions are:
1) Make sure you do NOT force feed your child
2) Try your best not to feel overwhelmed/stressed during meal time (your child will feed off your stress (i know easier said than done - I'm sure this is VERY stressful for you)
3) place a food that you are eating (that is safe for your child) on the tray (without ANY expectation that your child will eat it).
4) let your child play in food and get messy – this allows your child to learn the properties of food (smell, feeling, sight) – you can also “paint” with pudding, “draw” in cool whip (especially the kind that comes from the can – kids LOVE to see it squirt out).
5) offer foods your child eats and try to expand within the same food area (e.g. if your child eats pureed banana try banana pudding or yogurt. You can also mix banana with another smooth fruit).
6) if your child is screaming and refusing – ignore the behavior (turn your head as your child is yelling, count to 10, turn back and offer “first lick (or kiss or touch) X (non-preferred food) than Y (preferred food)” using a matter of fact (non-emotional) voice
7) encourage your child to touch new foods to cheek/lips (WITHOUT expecting your child to eat it) – cheer/provide positive feedback when your child does this. Then encourage your child to lick it, then eventually bite it (this may take 10-20 exposures before your child bites a new food)

I find that some kids (typically the ones I work with) who are severe picky eaters will not eat even if they are hungry. If you do not see an improvement (e.g. increase foods using above strategies and you have concerns over health nutrition or weight gain) you may want to consider asking your pediatrician for an occupational therapy or speech therapy referral for feeding. It is MUCH easier to work on feeding issues when they are younger verses older.

Remember encourage your child, praise your child, and even though it is hard try not to show your child your stress.
I hope that helps! Good luck!

I was a nanny for twenty years and every kid at some point becomes a picky eater. So, your child is "normal", yeah! What I have found out that works, is make them what they like and always include what you are eating. If they don't want it, say thank you and move on. I have found that when you force, get upset or show any reaction other than a smile, the more determine they are to make you upset. Kids go through months of eating the same thing over and over again, enough to make you sick, but if it balances out, then don't worry about it. If you are looking for some ways to make meal that everyone can eat, weelious is a great site, the sneaky chef, or stealth health books are great. You might also want to try food that you don't eat too. I really don't like hummus, but my son does. He loves to eat chick peas, black beans and kidney beans, that are just warmed up in the microwave. Just relax and so will your son, and soon your child will be eating new things.

Good luck!

K.

Good luck.

My son will eat just about anything at daycare, but not at home. We do the "this is your dinner" type suggested, although we don't get to eat with him yet because he goes to bed so early (we do sit with him though). I wouldn't get any time with him if I spent the evening cooking before he goes down. In other words, he gets a "special" meal, but only because that is what works for us. Lately we have been adding something new to the plate with a tried and true. Our one rule though, is that he can have any fruit or veggie that he wants, even after he refuses the dinner. Lately, that has been applesauce, but he gets something healthy and still gets exposed to the food we want him to, whether he eats it or not. I do make a conscious effort though, especially on weekends when he hasn't eaten much that day or when he isn't feeling well, to make sure that his dinner is something that he likes. I'm all for the discipline, but I like moderation to. :) Good luck, and let me know if you find something else that works.

There is a great book by William G Wilkoff, MD called Coping with a Picky Eater that every parent or provider of kids should read and have a copy of. http://www.amazon.com/Coping-Picky-Eater-Perplexed-Parent...

This book has what I call the Picky Eater Plan. I have used this plan with kids that literally threw up at the sight of food and within 2 weeks they were eating normal amounts of everything and trying every food.

First you need to get everyone who deals with the child on board. If you are a provider it's ok to make this the rule at your house and not have the parents follow through but you wont' see as good results as what I described up above.

The plan is to limit the quantities of food you give the kid. When I first start with a child I give them literally ONE bite worth of each food I am serving. The book suggests that every time you feed the kids (breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner) you give all 4 food groups. So, for lunch today I would have given the child one tiny piece of strawberry, one spoonful of applesauce, 3 macaroni noodles with cheese on them, and 2 oz of milk. Only after they ate ALL of what was on their plate would you give them anything else. They can have the same amounts for seconds. If they only want more mac and cheese, they only get 3 noodles then they would have to have more of all the other foods in order to get more than that. If they don't eat, fine. If they don't finish, fine. Don't make a big deal out of it, just make them stay at the table until everyone else is done eating. They don't get more food until they are sat at the next meal and they only get what you serve. When I first do this with a child I don't serve sweets at all. So no animal crackers for snack but rather a carrot for snack. Or one of each of those. I don't make it easy for them to gorge on bad foods in other words. Now if they had a meal where they ate great then I might make the snack be a yummy one cause I know they filled up on good foods.

Even at snacks you have to limit quantities of the good stuff or else they will hold out for snack and just eat those snacky foods. I never give a picky eater the reward of a yummy snack unless they had that great lunch prior to it.

It really is that easy.

My daughter went through a period of eating anything, to wanting nothing, even saying did not like food previouly had loved. My Doc said it it not unusual. Just give what they will eat, with some healthy way of preparing it tied into it. It will all change naturally.

My daughter has not been a good eater for about 6months now. She is 24months old. I have tried it all and finally talked to my peditrician since she was also gaining weight very slow and from liquids mainly.
She was evealuated for OT/ with a specialist in feeding. Turns out she has a texture and sensory issue with certain foods. She would pocket food and spit out. If the behavior continues ask for help from your DR. Follow weight and try to cut back on liquids.

I would try giving something you know he will like and adding something new on the side. I don't hold well with preparing "special" meals for kids, but there is nothing wrong with serving, say, corn five nights a week to the whole family if you know he will eat it. And adding some spinach for everyone to try.

Oh I need to hear these answers too. My little one was really trying me today. He is 18 months old and we have been going through this for a few months.

What we do is offer him whatever we are eating for dinner in some variation as we like spicy food. Sometimes he will eat it, most of the time he refuses. We just keep being consistent. When he doesn't want to eat any of our food I will offer him one thing I know he will eat (cheese stick, yogurt, fruit, cheerios, etc.) after a while just to make sure he eats something. I don't think he is holding out for something better because sometimes he doesn't even want that. I think it is just his age and hopefully with time it will pass.

What I also do is try to look at the entire day. I tend to worry less if in the evening if he had a great breakfast or vice versa.

Don't make it an option, make trying new things a rule. If he can't try it, he can't have his normal treats for after meals/in-betweeners.
I do this with my son(usually it's me wanting him to try something like Spaghettios or Campbells soup). There's a "try-it" bite. He has to chew and swallow it, then if he says, "no thank you" I don't make it again(for at least a few months--I'm sneaky, and sometimes he likes it later on down the road--just not canned foods).
I wouldn't go as far as going to bed without any food, but do encourage and reward him for trying new things(like an extra helping of what he does like for trying something he doesn't).
I also do this when I watch my friends children, and they slowly are trying new things(much to their parent's surprise).
Keep us posted, and good luck with your picky eater.

I agree with AJ C.'s mealtime suggestions and mention of a referral for an evaluation by an occupational therapist if your son's eating does not improve. An occupational therapist trained in feeding issues can determine if this is just a stage or if there is an underlying factor such as poor oral muscle tone or sensory issues that are getting in the way of trying new foods. Maybe because I have a child with sensory/oral motor issues, but I just can't support the going to bed without food because they won't try a new food suggestion, although like you I have heard that from many a well-intentioned friend or family member. Working with our OT has been the best way to help my son try new food and the last 4 months he has made real progress. Best of luck!

I suggest a feeding therapist they are usually trained speech therapists. I would also have him evaluated for a sensory issues. there are many types of sensory disorders one would never know all the names! I found out my son had sensory modulation disorder and well he too has feeding issues and we have seen a food therapist for two years! there is always something to over come! good luck!
J.

OMG...looking forward to other people's comments. My daughter is the same way...she eats the same thing every day and I think now is getting tired of that but won't try new things. Last night her tray ended up on the floor before she ate anything...my husband didn't want me to make her anything else but I felt bad. She's 21 months...is she learning a lesson if I send her to bed without food? Is it too early for her to get it?

Thanks for the question...I need help too!!

From a mom of a son with all sorts of eating issues, I recommend that you find some books on picky eating. There are a bunch out there - go on amazon and search "picky eating" What is your gut, is this a behavioral issue or a sensory issue, something else? If it is not behavioral I would be careful about disciplining your child by depriving them of food as it won't work. The experts I have worked with recommend keeping things as positive as possible. Please know that the old adage that a child won't starve themselves to death is not always true. Dr. Fishbein in DuPage was a godsend. If your insurance will cover it I would try to get in with him. Feel free to contact me if you would like to discuss further. I know how frustrating these things can be.