Troubles with Housekeeping

I really wish I had advice for you as I am in the same situation. I live on base at Fort Jackson, I have a 2 month old, a 6 year old and I work full time. My husband just left for Korea for a year and I am drowning in housework - I spend most of my night getting ready for the next day and most of my weekend shopping for the next week and trying to do stuff with the kids but it doesn't leave any time for me to meet people or socialize and even less time to do a much needed spring cleaning or even a good regular cleaning. The Flylady website looks interesting though - now I just need to find the time to read through it!! Let me know if you find something that works for you. =)

Hey H.,

I totally understand where you are coming from. I have a 4yr old and a 2month old.....both boys. My husband is also Air Force and we are stationed at Ft Jackson. We have been in Columbia for just over a year now and it is very hard to meet people here. I dont really like it here. Finally had some great neighbors move in so that has helped some. Where are you stationed right now?? Ft. Jackson or Shaw? I normally just start slow and do what I can. It will eventually come together. I would love to email ____@____.com

Take it one room at a time hun. My husband is also deployed and with al the running and caring for kids I do its hard to keep a clean house. The kids and I have recently moved too so I am still trying to get the mess straightened up. But take it one day and one room at a time.

I realized when my first son was about that age that I could not get everything done when he was sleeping; it never gives you any down time which is what you need with a 6 month old!!! I also realized that it was "educational" for him to watch me do things and it was very interested in watching me fold laundry, unload the dishwasher... I had little "stations" of a bunch of his toys in each room and when i went into that room to clean, he came with me and played with the toys in that room or watched me, gives you a great chance to interact and tell your baby what you're doing!
Then, when he went down for a nap, I would rest too, watch a show or just read, definitely made me feel more rested and ready to start again in 5 min or 2 hours!
Also, at 6 months, you can probably work towards your baby having 2 more solid naps, rather than little 20 min power naps here and there. If you find her starting to drift off, move to a different room. My boys did best with naps at 10am and 2 pm...good luck and don't forget to take care of your baby's momma too!!!

H., I can relate! We have a six month old son. We bought a house the week he was born and then my fiance left for Cuba a few weeks after that. I live far from family and friends and have little to no help I also work full time. I still feel like some rooms are in the "unpacking" stages. I have more stuff than I have places to put it!

Because I work I have to use my weekends to do most of my household "maintenance" as well as try to organize my messes! Some weekends I am so tired I just feel like giving up. Everyone has told me to just relax, that some things have to slide when you don't have help. Easy for them to say! I struggle because I feel like I can't "maintain" when things are a mess. What is working for me, at least keeping me sane, is to pick a project and focus on it, ignoring everything else. Don't get me wrong, my house is not as neat as I would like for it to be but at least I feel like I am accomplishing something. If your coffee table is bothering you, make it your focus and force yourself to start cleaning it off. Do it while she plays in her activity center (if you don't have one, get one...they are fantastic!) or while she's taking one of her long naps and forget about all the other stuff! Sometimes when you can see progress it motivates you! And, just hang in there! You can't fix it all right now and you know how long it will be before he comes home...all you can do is plug away!

Hi H.!

My mother would have some great advise for you. (She give it to me too!) Check out this website! FlyLady.com My mother says that they have great ideas for cleaning and keeping things clean. They offer a support group also I have been told as well as ways to 'organize' your life. They offer great recipes and tips for cooking as well as how to keep your car clean. They will email you and tell you want to tackle that day and how long to spend doing it! It really sounds like a great website and I would reccomend it to ANYONE! I am even going to check it out! LOL that is if I can drag myself to even think of doing any house work!

Flylady.com <(~~ Check it out!

I have the exact same problem. I'm a fulltime dental assistant in the military and only have but a couple hours with my 4 mos old after work. To get motivated to do anything, I just bite the bullet and do it. I put some music on and do it. She loves sitting in her bouncy seat because she doesnt' sleep too much anymore during the day. So i set her in her bouncy chair and let her play away. I get a good hour with her in it to clean and do homework. Only thing I can suggest is bite the bullet and get it done.

Hi H.. It sounds like you may be a little depressed from being so isolated without friends. Try to get out and know your neighbors, I know when I chat with my neighbor friends I feel alot better, maybe you could even start a get together once a week that you can turns having a coffee morning at each others house. As for housework, it just sucks, its hard to get motivated to do anything that is not fun.. don't be so hard on yourself a little clutter is okay and our homes are our homes right? And should be "lived in". Have you heard of flylady.com. I know some woment that use it and it really helps! Good luck honey and hang in there!

Hey H....

I would suggest checking out the FlyLady website. She is very motivational, and she says you can do anything for 15 minutes. She has been a big help to me, and I've never been an organized person. Now, my laundry is always put away, my room and my daughter's room are both always clean, and I work full time, so it's not like it takes that much to do it. It's all about babysteps! Check out the website www.flylady.com and see what you think. If you have any questions let me know...oh, and I bought the large feather duster...yo wouldn't believe how well that thing works!! Good luck, and have fun FLYing!

A.

Try setting little goals. Use a timer and set it for 10 minutes. Get up and accomplish as much as you can of your goal while the timer is on. You can also use music to help you. Try to finish the dishes before the song is over...

Try using a baby carrying device,and strap her to your chest?

First of all, cut yourself some slack! You are a new mom and your husband is deployed! Alot is on you right now.My suggestion would be to get involved with church or your FRG and make sure you leave the house at least once a day. I dont know if you do that already or not but it is a good way to boost yourself and see other people. It certainly helped me not to feel so alone. I dont know if you work out but joining a gym is another excellent way (and probably the most productive way) to get interaction with other people and give yourself the dose of motivation you need to do your everyday tasks. For Women Only on Raeford Rd. is an excellent gym and has really good child care in the mornings. The child care is free and I really trust the care givers in the morning time. As for the house, I think once you take care of you, you will be more likely to take care of your other responsibilities. Also, there is no rule that you have to only clean while she naps. She can occupy herself at that age for a few minutes and can be safe playing and exploring by herself(right next to you with some toys or in a swing of course) while you do the dishes or organize a desk or something. That would free up some time for you to relax while she slept and you would not feel like the house was just another thing that had to get done. I hope this has helped! Good luck!

Hi H.,

I have a 10 month old. My husband is in the air force, but he's home right now. We've been here about 8 months and it is difficult to make friends when we have little ones. I go to a meetting called MOPS, mothers of preschoolers. It's 2 times a month and GREAT. They have child care and it last about 2 hours every other wed. We have a play group on Thursdays for a couple hours. We meet at the mall or different homes. It really gives me a break and a chance to talk to other adults, which I desprerately need! Sometimes it is hard for me to get motivated to clean up, but I think part of that is because I need the company of other adults. At MOPS they give us advice and we have motivational speakers. It's next week at New Life Providence on Wed. at 9:15 am. Let me know if you want to go or if you just want to go to the play group. We would love to have you.
Blessings,
D. G

Hi H., My name is B. and I have sort of the same problem. I can't get organized either and I just got up and said that I can't stand it anymore and I just took one small piece of the project and did a little this day and that day.
Take some time for yourself while the baby is sleeping(ie. take a warm bath, catch a nap yourself, etc.) sometimes it helps if you just make a larger project into several small projects.Let me know if this helps.

You've got a lot on your plate! You probably need a bit of rest too. So, nap when baby naps so you feel more like doing something when she's up. The bouncy seat was a good suggestion. My addition would be to get either a nice plastic tub with lid, or a cool wicker or other box (maybe one that fits under the coffee table or in nearby corner), then just sweep everything in there. This is probably bad cleaning advice, but I have 4 kids and sometimes just feeling like it's clean is worth so much more emotionally. Later (maybe once a week) commit to going through the junk box, most of which is trash by now anyway. This is at least a start in the right direction and something more manageable than feeling like you need to clean incessantly.

i do two things...im a bad procrastinator and this works. i time chores so i just say it only takes 10 or 5 min to accomplish this. the other is i break down chores in stages or parts and they dont seem so big. all the little things add up to a tidier house. good luck!

Try a sling of some sort. That way you can hold her and still have your hands free to do things when she's awake. She'd probably enjoy watching.

As for motivation... This is my husband's second deployment since my son's been born (he turned two today) and we've been through many underways. I found that the more I stay home, the less motivated I get. The mess piles up around me and makes me feel more overwhelmed. I get into a rut and it's hard to get out of. Getting out of the house helps me. It gives me more energy. I'm more likely to continue with that energy once I get home.

Also, get out and meet people. Try searching out play groups online. See if there are family support group meetings that you could attend. If you breastfeed, look up your local La Leche League group and start attending meetings. Talking to other adults face to face really does help get you out of that rut.

Another thing, use this time to your advantage and get rid of that stuff making the clutter. It's so much easier to weed through things when you don't have your husband right there. I have a can of BBs that my husband won't let me get rid of whenever he's here. It does nothing more than collect dust. He doesn't even have a BB gun. I highly doubt he's even going to notice that I got rid of it when he gets back.

The flylady site is worth the look. I havnt gone a whole lot with it as I had found out about a little over a week ago and my husband deploys tomarrow at 4AM roughly so it has been super busy!!! But I have done what the 10 min cleaning just a few times a day and you will be shocked how much a difference it makes.

Also with the baby mine are 2 and 4 now and we used baby gates to block off the kitchen and MOST of the clutter goes on one of those small square folding tables (our kitchen is one of those base houseing kitchens so it is small but the table fit in it with room to spare). This keeps it away from the kids so they can't get into any of it incase something important or potentially dangerous lands in it. And when I get time or the motivation I can let the kids play in the living room granted most the time they stand outside the gate and just watch me go through things and clean up the table. Our actual table we eat on is in the what is supposed to be open dinning room but is really more like a bigger living room.

Mine from the time they could hold things liked plasic spoons and the set of white bowls with blue lids they still sell at the BX. Even If I put them in a high chair or laid them on their tummy's with them it kept them intertained. And it has been more of an investment since I bought them when we first moved here 3 years ago and they are still in perfect condition. I only let the kids play with them while I am in the kitchen cleaning or cooking.

Also the book Cleaning Up the Clutter is a really great way to get things organized. I started it when I was prego with my girl who is now 2. When I did what the book said it was amazing how much space I had!!! But after I had her I got 3 herniated disc's and it took them a year to do anything about it and another year b4 I could really be ME again. While DH is gone I am going to pick up where I left off and get the rest of the house finished but it really is a good book!

OMG!! are you living in my house lol??? I finally got motivated when we invited someone from my husbands unit over for dinner. Every time I got motivated, one of my kids needed something too. I finally had to strap my 10 wk old into the front pack and JUST DO IT!!!! It sucks, and I hated it, but since I finally got it done, I just make an effort to maintain it so I don't get to that point again. Just set your goal to be one room at a time, and maintain that room once it has been done. Good Luck.

This is my theory, do one room at a time, and pace yourself, when my son was 6 months old, we lived a little tiny apartment, and it just seemed like there was always a mess, then I discovered, as long as the kitchen was clean, everything else looked clean, and I just had to learn, when I was done looking at something, throw it away, don't lay it on the counter, or on the table, because that justs starts it all over again. And another way that helped me clean, is when my son was awake, I put him in the body carrier, and I was able to clean, and vaccum, and mop, without a problem. Just hang in there, it will get easier, but, technically, you're a single mom right now, who's doing everything while your husband is gone, I went through that too. But now, my son is almost two, and I can now clean the whole house, (which I wish was small like our apartment, the bigger the house, the bigger the rooms to clean), and do laundry w/o a problem (sometimes) ;-).
Just get away with it while you can, your daughter is young, stop worrying about how clean your house is, and look at how happy your daughter is, because once you can start cleaning the house, and keeping up with it, and doing dinner, that's all you'll ever do again... trust me, I'm doing it now, because my husband knows I can! ;-)

i know you posted this a while ago but i thought id respond anyway:)
i have a 21 month old, and every day shes becoming more and more self entertained but when she was your daughters age she too liked the exersaucer, but my favorite thing was a sling or snugli! every baby ive ever know loves it and i got so much done when i felt like it, not just when she was naping! I still use it sometimes! she still loves it! i also use a natural and organic line of cleaning products so it doesnt harm either one of us if i ever clean with her:) hope things are still going well!
chao

Hi H. my name is D. and i am a mother of 3 the ages are 7, 2 ,and 1 years old and i also have a dog. I understand you too because my husband is in the navy.
I don't have friends either. What i would do in your situation is as soon as you wake up do what ever it is that you do with the baby example feed dress, and then put her in the walker with a toy and turn on the t.v to cartoons like Dora blues clues and put the t.v a little louder the usual to get her attention then start from the bed room all the way down the line and the last place you will clean is where she is at ok if you have any other question or concerns please ask me
by the way my name is D. and i live in Norfolk Va .
hope to hear from you soon

I agree w/ the other mom, bouncy chairs are wonderful! I have a 14mo boy; and I usually power clean right after I put him down. I do 1 room per day! I'm also trying to be more resourceful w/ bathroom duties, and I do a quick clean daily when I get my shower by keeping Lysol sanatizing wipes in the bathroom, while the shower's warming up I wipe down the counters, tub and then lastly the toilet and toss the wipe in the toilet to flush down... while in the shower, I have the tub sprayed with a gentle cleaner (seperate tub) and rinse when I'm done w/ shower, I also spray the shower down with a leave on spray at least every other day - like scrubbing bubbles or something...I do laundry on a schedule, and I do dishes nightly in the dishwasher, and put them away while he's having his breakfast. I remember the days of short naps - and I suggest the No Cry Sleep Solution book, it helped me get my son on a schedule of naps, and each nap was at LEAST 45min after reading the helpful tips in that book!

Good luck!

The Flylady system/e-mails definitely work for me. Highly recommend that. (Flylady.com). It's free, relatively easy, encouraging, and really teaches you to not beat yourself up - just take it a day at a time. In my case, it was kind of difficult at first (new baby, lots of changes, things like that), but honestly, once I got my house "de-cluttered" and got into the routines, it was SO easy. I just couldn't believe it! It really does feel like the house cleans itself. I modified a lot of the routines, etc., once I got the hang of it. Needed to change it to fit mine and my family's lifestyles, and that just works really well for us. Don't be afraid to modify it for your specifics. God bless! And congrats on your precious little one!

I think we all have these troubles! A book that helps is Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley, "The Flylady." I think there is also a website that is something like flylady.com. It helps with simple suggestions to get organized a little at a time. Plus, once in a while, hire someone to come in and clean; if you are caring for your child on your own, you deserve a break!

I don't know how I'm going to do it when my husband gets deployed this year, but then again he does make half of the mess :o) lol

My daughter is going to be 3 in June, so the days of the bouncy seat is over but that did work for me. Or a high chair with baby snacks or toys worked for at least an hour. I know that when she napped, I just wanted to rest myself and usually did cleaning when she was awake occupied with toys or child cartoons. Now that I have a daycare, I usually clean up when the kids are eating or napping in the afternoon. Also music helped with the blinds opened and if it felt nice outside I would open the window or the screen door. Hope you get some motivation!! Oh, is your husband in the army or airforce?