Trouble Quitting the Cigs........ Someone Please Give Me Some Advice

Hang in there!!! Keep trying, it is the best thing ever to quit. My sister has been using some medicine that her Dr. prescribed her. She loves it. (If you want to know what it is, I can get it for you.) She said she is so much happier all the time. She set up a quit date to wind down to it. Other things she has done are brush her teeth constantly and change her clothes. Again, hang in there! It isn't easy, but the right paths in life usually aren't. ;)
Amanda

I don't know if it is an option but I know a lot of people that quit using Chantrix. i don't know if you are to the point where you want to use the perscription and I hear it is costly...but it works. It is worth a shot.

Hello C., my name Is J. I quit smoking 2 months ago after being a smoker for many years. I couldnt do it on my own so I got help from the pill Chantix.I had no bad side effects from it, but some people do.I would read up on it before you consider taking it.Good Luck !! I know its hard but the pill totally helped me.

Dear C.:

I've been smoking for a total of 11 years and I've had a really bad cough for the past two weeks that I can't seem to shake. Three days ago I coughed up a small amount of blood and I am scared beyond belief. I haven't smoked since and I am praying that I don't have lung cancer. Like you, I smoked to alleviate stress- my job( in the medical field ironically) is stressful, raising two kids, etc. Now I am making deals with God and I am terrified. I know I'll never smoke again and I've spent the week wondering why I was so stupid. I loved to smoke too- loved a smoke with my coffee, with my co-workers, after a drink, after a meal- I never smoked inside my house or in front of my two wonderful children. Now I wonder if I'll live to see my son graduate from high school.I've quit before- using Chantix but the side effects were not good( anxiety and agressive thoughts). I did quit cold turkey for 2 years before and thought I could just smoke socially but that's a lie. This time it was easy- I'm just so afraid, I can't imagine smoking ever again. It's been 4 days and I just hope what I have is bronchitis or lung irritation.If it does not get better in a week, I'm going for a chest x ray. C., it may be too late for me, but you should think about this long and hard.Trust me when I say, this is the worst feeling ever, the sense that I may have written my own death sentence. I know this sounds dramatic, and I know how hard it is to quit. I wish you the best of luck. Please try- it's just not worth the fear and regret. Now that I don't smoke, I wonder why I ever started.

V. C.

My husband did the same thing to me. If you guys are having marital problems, then maybe you need counseling. Fix the big problems, and maybe quitting smoking will be easier for you. I had a hard time convincing my husband that me smoking had nothing to do with me loving him. It's an "addiction". If anything it was an indication of not loving myself the way I should. I finally had to tell my husband that "I'm a big girl. I know I shouldn't smoke. Let me deal with it." The more pressure and guilt he put on me, the more I dug in my heels and smoked to spite him. "Real mature", I know, but it was definately a control issue with me, as it may be with you. I know my husband loves me and was worried that smoking was killing me, and I understood that. It was the way he went about it that was not helpful. Tell your husband that if he can assure you that he loves you no matter if you smoke or not, it would take immense pressure off you so that "you" can be free to decide to quit because "you" want to quit. Does that make sense? I'm sure you know it's bad for you or you would not have quit the last time. I quit April 16. This is not the first time I have quit either, but this time I believe it's the last time. Everyone looks at their cigarettes differently, so what works for me may not work for you, but it may help to hear how someone else is dealing with it. First, I asked God to help me. He is not going to say no to that right? Second I thought of how smoking was affecting my health, which in turn was affecting my relationships with my daughter and husband. I never felt good or had the energy to go and do things with them. Also I didn't want to be be away from home for too long because the only place I could relax was my back deck (with a book, a cup of coffee and a cigarette) It was "me" time. Well "me" time is all well and good. Us moms need it, but "me" time was taking up so much time that I was spending "no" time with my family. Thirdly, is that a word? :) I had to make cigarettes the enemy in my mind. I had to see cigarettes for what they really are. To me they are poison that is slowly killing my body, and at the same time a wall between me and my family. You have to see cigarettes for what they really are in "your" life. I am also chewing nicotine gum. It helps a lot. I buy the generic, it's cheaper and just as good. The first week was the hardest. Getting my head right first helped with the physical aspect. I hope I have helped, even just a little. It's such a personal thing that it's hard to give advice, but when you are really, really sick of smoking you will quit. Good Luck and keep trying! M. M

u need to fix your source of your stress first. Then you can get on the nicotine patch , while doing so it is helpful to eat or snack on throughout the day, baby carrots. There is something that is in baby carrots that helps pull the nicotine out of the blood stream. It also gives you the same feeling as holding a cigarette. You need some alone time as well, try taking a walk or picking up some yoga or breathing exercises as well.

Good Luck

Call 1-800-QUIT-NOW. It is free and is based in NC. They offer advise, counseling and suggestions on different techniques and strategies.

My husband smoked forever. He is always stressed about something. He finally decided to go cold turkey after my father died of lung cancer and I broke down telling him I did not want to raise our children alone.
He had tried many other times without success, but this time he quit and said it was easier than he expected.
Smoking is a crutch just like overeating or drinking or drugs. YOU have to make your mind up to stop. Only YOU can do it! Don't use your stressful situations as EXCUSES. I am a firm believer that every adult is responsible for their own actions and you ALLOW others to upset you by not letting them know your expectations of them or of a situation. Be affirmative in who you are, what you want, make a gameplan and make it happen. You are in charge of you and things either go the way you want or YOU do what it takes to change the situation. Sit your husband down and have a heart to heart. He needs to support you in your decisions.
The bottom line is that you BOTH need to do what is best for your children and what is best for you. Decide what that is TOGETHER and MAKE IT HAPPEN! Be each others CHEERING SECTION!
Good Luck! My thoughts and prayers are with you!
MJ

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Hi C.,

My husband and I quit smoking three months ago. we both smoked for over 16 years each. We went thru our insurance company to see what they offered. They offered us an 8 week program with meetings and Chantix. We did not need all of the medicine but the meetings are wonderful. If you go online and look up stop smoking there are all kinds of programs and meetings you can join for support. Also, see if your insurance company will help you. I know that there are other meds. for this too. I REALLY know how hard it is, I never thought I could do it. If you need anything else please feel free to email me. I am here for any support.

R.

I don't have the answer to quitting smoking, but I do know this much, you will not be able to quit for someone else. Even if you do stop for the time being, you will never feel good about it. This is something that you must do for you. It sounds as if you might have started smoking to kind of get even with him anyway, since he hates it and there are marital problems. We all do something subconsciously in times of stress, myself included. So, it will be a very personal thing to stop. I would find myself a personal self help program program of some sort or a partner who is also trying to stop.
S.

Good morning C.. I am so sorry for your troubles, and I do have some advice for you. I've been where you are, and it is NOT easy having a newborn and marital problems at the same time. If you can, try and find some alone time with your husband. You two really need to discuss what's going on and he needs to understand why you are smoking. Maybe together you can come up with a solution so you'll both be happy. Also, have you tried counseling? Do you attend a church? These people are there to help you, and don't be afraid to turn to them. If you can't quit smoking for yourself or your husband, then do it for your beautiful children. They need their mom! I know it's hard, but you'll get through this. I'm not preaching, and I've never smoked. I also know that exercise works. When you want to smoke, go for a walk until the urge passes. Or eat carrots or celery. Just keep your hands busy. If you love your husband and he loves you, things will work out. They always do. Good luck!

Hi C.,
My husband and I had argued over him quitting ever since we got married (5 years ago). It got so bad that he told me that he quit and then TWO of my friends saw him driving in town smoking. One asked me, "I thought he quit?" I was so hurt...he lied to me over those little tobacco sticks??? That was the argument of all arguments!

He has tried everything...hypnosis, quitting cold turkey, welbutrin, the patch, the gum...etc. When we had our 2nd child last year, my obstetrician suggested Chantix. It's a medication that turns off the receptors in your brain that makes you want cigarettes (or something like that). My husband tried it and it worked! He has not smoked in over a year!!! He had smoked for more than 15 years and had tried to quit over and over. The only thing that I caution about the medication is that you need to take it with food...not even 30 minutes after you eat...WITH FOOD or it will make you nauseous. Two of my co-workers hubbies have quit with it too...one who smoked more than 10 years and one who has probably smoked for 40 years or more! I tell EVERYBODY that is trying to quit about it.

I am sorry that you are stressed and that smoking is your stress release. Growing up the daughter and grandaughter of tobacco farmers, I don't get on my soap box too much about smoking in general, BUT, from one mom to another, do it for your kids. I remember telling my husband not to quit for me, but to quit for his two beautiful healthy children. My dad had to watch my grandfather (his dad) die of lung cancer, so he basically suffocated. It was horrible. Could it have been prevented? Who knows? He may have still gotten lung cancer. But, the cigarettes that he smoked for so many years probably didn't help. And that is not something that any child (whether 5 years old or 50 years old) should have to watch.

Good luck! I hope your stressors are soon decreased and that you find something that helps you to quit!

I know how you feel. I smoked for about 20 years and got sick and finally gave up my cig. but every week I was going to quit but didn't. I had to really make a decision. It's hard to do. But, I feel that in your case, if your husband is giving you an ultimatum of quitting the cig. or he will leave. Well, as bad as I hate to say it, maybe he is trying to find a way out and this is it.So, if I were you, I think I would give him the ultimatum, of understanding me or the road! If he takes the road then you'll know for sure, he is the one that wanted out anyway. Sometimes its better to let them go than try to do everything to please, them..you have feelings to. Its like the saying goes..set them free if they come back their yours, if they don't, they never was...So I feel like he is wanting to be free, but he needs to have an excuse and the cig. is his way.Sorry...but that is only my opinion!!! Hope its not true.

I smoked for years and tried many things to quit. I actually would quit for varying amounts of time, but eventually pick them back up. The important thing is that you try. Each time that I quit, I learned something that helped me the next time. I used the patches the last time, and they really helped me. I haven't smoked in over eight years now, and I'm so glad that I didn't give up trying. They really disgust me now. My granddaughter who is 5 doesn't have to ever be exposed to my smoke. We have had several people in my office quit successfully with the new prescription medication Chantix, and they haven't smoked for over a year now. You might try that. Some of them took it for the amount of time that is recommended, but a few of them took it longer, and it eventually worked. If you are having issues with your husband, his ultimatum may actually be making it harder. Subconciously, you may want to do it to maintain control, as revenge, etc. A big part of the addiction is psychological. Try to understand what your issues are. You also might want to try one of the smoking cessation classes. I also went that route once, and they are really helpful. You can call the American Cancer Society for information about classes in your area, or check with your local hospitals. They sometimes offer them free to the public. Hang in there and good luck!

If it were me, I would work on what is causing the stress first. You can't remove a crutch before something is healed. Is your husband really the kind of man you want to share your life with? He sounds very harsh and not very compassiate. Ultimatums rarely work, working together to solve a problem often does.

J.

Hi C.,

I have known a couple to use acupuncture with a person that was trained in a NADA method to quit smoking. They had tried other things before without success. I have been told it was easy, using some points in their ears and it worked for them. And as others have mentioned, there are also meds your MD can give you to help as well, don't know about side effects or if you are breastfeeding can you take it?
You can do it!

Go to the dr and get one of those patches. Plus Wellbutrin is an antidepressant plus they have found that it aids in helping people stop smoking. So there you go! You need something to calm your nerves and to help quit smoking..... I would tell the dr what is going on and tell him a pharmacy technitian friend suggested that to you and tell him to write you a prescription for that. Talk about killing 2 birds with one stone..........Wellbutrin will do the trick.

I was a smoker for 17 years... I quit with the help of zyban (pills). From what I understand the pills were originally used for people with mental health issues (depression I think) and found the side effects to be that most quit smoking. Sounds silly - but it worked for me.

I totally understand it being hard to quit, I quit when I found out I was pregnant. And I do understand what you mean about it not being as "permanent" or easy if you don't quit for yourself. But if you don't feel like you can quit for your husband, please atleast quit for the health of your kids. The smoke on you affects them too. Smell is one of the strongest senses and do you want your kids to remember your smell as being the smell of cigarettes? Please quit, for your health, for your marriage and for your children.

Hi C.,

I used to be a smoker. I had tried MANY different ways, patches, pills, etc all to no avail. 1-888-lastpuff IS A MIRACLE!! I was a 30 year smoker, 1 treatment made me feel as though I was ALWAYS a non smoker. No side effects, no weight gain, nothing!
As for your stress, if you have coverage go see your dr. and get a prescription.
No insurance? Kava Kava, St John's wort or Valerian Root can help. Kava Kava is a mood stabilizer as is St. Johns Wort. Valerian stinks really bad but only until its down your throat. DO NOT touch Valerian with your hands because then your hands will stink pour a capsule into the cap and pop it into your mouth that way. Swallow fast. Valerian is a relaxant. Works really well if you cannot sleep.
See if you can't get your husband to understand that you would love to quit. That you smoke because you are stressed and that him saying "me or the cigs" is not productive.

Good luck to you!

I was in a similar situation with this amazing guy I am dating. Cigarettes or him. Chantix did it for me. I tried everything else in the past, but this was amazing. I am almost four months no smoking now!

Geez girl - hate to hear of such a testy situation! Try Chantix. Explain to your husband about the Chantix program and that what you are dealing with is an addiction. Nicotine is stronger than love, honey. Husbands may come and husbands may go, but that dam habit will linger if you don't do something about it now. Best of luck. Take care of those little ones.

i know that this is not the answer you want to hear, but ill give it anyway. i have been trying for four years now to get my husband to quit dipping(gross i know) and it has all been in vain. now he just does it at work and never tells me. if i ask him he will say yes he does, but it still all feels like i am being lied to because he does it behind my back. i feel like if he really loved me and the kids, he would quit. he would, as you say, jump up to quit. i know exactly how your husband feels. lied to, cheated and scared for your life. smoking kills, and he wants you to quit because he loves you so much. do it for you, him and your baby girl. your daughter deserves better than a mommy who smokes, and sneaks around. did you know that a child of a smoker is 10 times more likely to be a smoker? i know that you dont want that for your little one, and stopping now is so much easier than stopping in one year or ten years or whatever.

C.,

I'm sorry to hear about your stress, but I'll be checking to see what type of advice you receive because I am in the same situation. However, I have become so stressed that I smoke when I want because I am grown and stressed. I know I need to stop, but when the stress hits it seems to be the only thing to even half work at cooling me down. My husband was not cool with it at first but when our marital problems took a turn for the worse, he stopped getting mad and just does not look. We began marriage counseling and have been doing somewhat better but it will take time. We have both admitted to each other that neither of us will give up on our marriage because of the stress or the cigs, and that is why we have committed ourselves to counseling and trying to get better.

A.

C.,
Smoking 1st & foremost is an addiction. Not only is it a habitual substance but the process of smoking and when you smoke is a habit. Until YOU have made up your mind to quit, YOU will never be successful. His ultimatium and pressure to quit will not motivate or make you successful. Your addiction has nothing to do with your affection for him. If He truly wants you to be sucessful he can set parameters on where you smoke. The two of you need to set goals together and be the support that you need when you need it. That will assist you not demand or give an ultimatium. IF you need additional help sit down with your family physcian.

11/11/01 I quit smoking after smoking for 30+ years. My original quit date was 10/01/01. My coach was going to be my nephew and he died 9/11/01 at the Pentagon. I kept my promise to myself and him but just started later than I planned. It can be done.
GOOD LUCK & BEST WISHES!!!

Stop making excuses, stop smoking today! Cold turkey is the only way to go. If you don't want to do it for him or for yourself, then do it for your kids so that they will have a mom for a long time to come. Lung cancer is a horrible way to die (my sister-in-law died from lung cancer). If you are stressed out, exercise is a much better, healthier and cheaper method to beat stress.

Well, I had this same problem during my first marriage. It is very hard to quit when you are having troubles. I did end up quiting years later and traded cigs for slightly burnt popcorn! Have you tried discussing your troubles with him? It takes 2 to work out marital problems and I hope that you can both conquer these problems.......