Trouble Potty Training 2 Yr Old"

Updated on May 22, 2009
A.M. asks from North Hills, CA
13 answers

Any suggestions or advice on how to get my 2.5 yr old daughter to WANT to go Potty? She is really stubborn and only goes when I take her. She has not really been telling me she has to go, before she goes. FYI-She has been staying dry though the night for over a month which is a great sign she is ready.

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So What Happened?

We had a really successful day yesterday. She had no diaper on all day and only one accident. She even went on her own a few times. She even slept through the night with no diaper, only training underwear.

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L.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

When I was potty training my 2 year old I would give her two or three m&ms every time she would go and we would make a big thing out of it. We would dance and call her grandma and dad to tell them she would get really happy. I would also give her stickers every time she would go pop. Just make it fun for her and you; with the money I save from not buying dippers I get her a new movie every month and still save money.

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.:
Unfortunately,its not her stubbornness,as much as its your being in denial. She isn't ready to be potty trained.You need to be patient,and when she's ready,she'll let you know.Don't push or she'll relapse.Don't act disgusted,or disappointed in her or this will hold her back.You should be giving her praise only. I wish you and your girls the best.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Potty training takes time... in phases.

Stage 1: Your daughter IS going pee, when you take her. BRAVO! This is GOOD! Praise her. She has "attained" this stage of it. MANY toddlers don't even do that. So count yourself lucky.

Stage 2: Next, when she is able to or ready, she will indicate herself and tell you she needs to go pee or poop. In time.

Stage 3: SHE will WANT to go to the bathroom at will... and know it and be able to do it.

Toileting comes in stages. Pee comprehension comes first. Then pooping is next, but harder and takes lots of time and takes longer... AND then "night time" control without accidents... is NOT attained, developmentally or biologically, until about 5-7 years old. SO keep this part in mind... or you and she will be sorely frustrated.
But this is all normal.

Don't pressure her or punish, it will only make her stressed.
I don't think it is her being stubborn or willful.... she is just not yet "able" to do it yet. This is common.

My daughter did not start to potty "train" until about 2.5 years old... she wanted to try now and then, but I did not drill her about it. I just took it casually....and over the course of a year, at her cues, I encouraged or stopped trying. Then, by 3.5 years old, she was going on her own. But when she was ready. With my son, who is 2.5 years old, he is COMPLETELY not ready... I don't even try with him yet. He is different than my daughter was. He has absolutely no interest in it, so far.

All the best,
Susan

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Unfortunately, she may not be ready. I know that with our children and grandchildren some of them were not ready until they turned 3 years old. One was 20 months old. It all has to do with their own body. When they were ready, it took one day. I simply told each of them that we were going to potty train that day and they went.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
K. K.

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B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have a potty trained peer over for a play day. Peer example works even on the littlest kids. When she sees her friend going potty and being a big girl, she'll want to use the potty too.

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C.K.

answers from San Diego on

She will go when she's ready. Be patient.
good luck

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A.A.

answers from San Diego on

It doesn't sound like she's ready. Give her time. If she's not telling you before she goes it sounds like she doesn't have the control yet. You want to make sure it's her idea and she's the one who wants to use the potty. Every child is different on when they are ready and how long it takes.

Good luck

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M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm right there with you, I have a 2.5 year old daughter who likes to go and do the whole "potty thing" but she doesn't ever mention it unless I do, and at least your daughter will actually pee! I think mine has maybe 3 times out of a bazillion trips to the bathroom. The biggest problem is everybody immediately asks me if she is potty trained yet and tells me how she should be trained by now! I just try to relax and figure we will figure it out eventually....right? ;)

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Then she's not ready. When she's ready it will take no time at all to do.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi A., reward an discipline, I used it with all 3 of my now growm children, potty trained at ages 21, months, 19 months, and 22 months. Also I use the same methods with my daycare kids, all potty trained by 2. It's not a question or it shouldn't be of what she want's to do but what she is told to do, if you leave it up to what she wants to do, then you are giving her power that she will use against you. Let her pick our her own panties at the store, have her go when you go. it does not have to be a battle. You mentioned work full time, so is your daughter in daycare? and if so are they working with her, with my daycare parents I make sure we are all on the same page, so the child doesn't get confused of what is expected of them. Hope this helps. J. L.

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D.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.,
I understand your frustration. I thought the whole thing would be so simple. But.....my daughter wasn't ready both times I taught toilet training 101.
I gave her all the info, but she wouldn't budge, so every morning for about 2 months I asked her if she wanted a diaper or panties. And one morning she decided on panties and from then on, she has used the toilet. Poop took an extra week or two, maybe three.
I was adviced once that toilet training is the first big decision a child will make, so give them the open door to make it and trust that you are a good teacher and your daughter is a good student.

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your daughter is really young to train. Personally I wouldn't want to die on this hill. I'd wait a few more months and try again. Don't worry, she's not going to high school in diapers. Good luck.

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D.C.

answers from San Diego on

She will do it when she is ready and trust me if she doesn't want to do it, she won't!!! I fought constantly to get my daughter potty trained. She finally succeeded by 3. Hang tough, it will happen.

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