Trouble Getting Toddler to Sleep

I wonder if walking is giving her the second wind. It always gives me lots of energy and makes it hard to fall asleep if I do it late in the evening.

in my opinion, 9 is way too late for a 2yo bedtime. she needs to back it up by at least an hour. start the bedtime routine(minus the songs, that prob hypes her up) around 7pm, with lights off around 7:30ish. and stick firmly to it whether she likes it or not. if you walk by her room and she's up, DON'T GO IN! get her up at 7 the next morning, she'll eventually learn to go to sleep at bedtime. i'd nip this in the bud now thought before the new baby arrives. good luck!

Maybe an activity that is very active and or tiresome would help. If you are up on the weekends then maybe she should get up too. I know, I have a 7 year old son who doesn't like to go to sleep. He now has our dog Sumi to sleep with I let him have a soft playing CD to listen to. I also let him fall asleep with the light on and then I turn it off when I go to bed. I keep our dog sleeping with him by putting a child gate up, for both his benefit and ours so we don't have trash everywhere when we get up in the mornings. Now he sleeps all night, but it took time. I like to take him to the park or go swimming around super time and he gets very tired. Also he likes to play with our dog and chase her around, they both get tired. I love it because, I don't get tired and it's fun to watch. I really hope you find something that works for you.

You are going to have to change the whole routine. No 2 1/2 year old should go to bed at 9pm they should be in bed by 8pm at the latest. Cut out the walk and the songs and go to bed. You got too much going on to help the child wind down to go to sleep. Going to bed should be a short process not something that takes hours. If you don't get this one on a routine when the next one shows up you will know all about the lack of routines and time to yourselves. If she is up in her bed at 11pm don't go in and lay down with her. She does not know the difference between weekdays and weekend days so you will have to continue the same routine seven days a week. Both of you are going to have to change your routines too to help with the problem of her sleeping. Take a nap on the weekends you as you are going to have to get up and do things with your daughter. The same thing holds true for the new one. You should get the routine down first before you move her. Put a baby gate up at the door or close the door when it is night time. What is her daily routine at the child care center or provider? Maybe she is sleeping there later in the day or longer than at home to cause the late night special. You may have to learn to cook crock pot meals so that everyone is fed by 630pm. Having babies isn't easy when working but you have to give up the "me" for the "we" to make it work. Remember you are the parent and the child is the child and it is up to you the parent to set the example of the ways things go in your house. Be strong about it. Yes, there will be tears but it better to have them now than at 15 when she won't listen to you.

I worked, took care of 2 kids, husband and house. So it is possible but you are going to have to multi-task and manage your time better to get it all done. You will be sleep deprived somedays but that's part of being a parent. Good luck to you.

I was so relieved to read this post! My toddler has the same behavior. We have already moved our 2 1/2 year old to his big boy bed. He has been there for a few months. Unfortunately, the behavior didn't change, but now he can get out of bed and wander to find us. And to make matters even worse, no matter what time he falls asleep, he is up by 7 a.m. every day, and often earlier, which can make for some cranky fussy afternoons. I know that there are people who swear by the technique of letting their child cry and then going in an not talking to the child, but patting them (aka the nanny method)- this did not work for us at all!! We tried this consistently and it was a disaster! It is getting a little better since we made a few changes, but there are still nights that try our patience! We have our routine and have had the same one since he was 6 months old - bath, pjs, teeth brushing, potty and two stories. We start the routine around 7:15ish and our goal is to have him laying in bed by 8:00p.m. Now we have added night lights (two, because one apparently wasn't enough). He also has a spill proof water cup - that has to have ice added or he gets upset. We allow him one book or quiet toy in bed. If he gets out of bed to play or wander (we are potty training so sometimes his reasons for leaving are legitimate) he can lose the toy or book. And we try our best to ignore him. If he is quiet and in bed, even if he isn't sleeping and it's 10:30, we don't go near him. I am noticing that if we can ignore him, he seems to get bored and fall asleep earlier. We try to avoid walking near his door (which can be tricky since his room is next to our office) or talking loudly until after he is asleep. On nights where he is calling us in for one random thing or another, I have started coming in and finding out what he "needs" and then telling him that I will be right back to check on him after I _______ (fill in the blank - put on my pjs, feed the dog, etc.). And after a moment or two I go in and check on him ask if he's ok which 99% of the time he says yes and then I leave, telling him I'll be back in a few minutes. And I do come back, but I wait longer and just try to wave or smile from the door if I can get away with it. This is a preemptive strike that seems to help keep him in bed and has stopped the wandering. If he seems ok with me leaving the second time, we go back to ignoring him. We have been doing this for about a month and it is not perfect, but it is A LOT better. Last night he actually fell asleep by 8:30!!!! I am soooo glad that I am not alone in this struggle for sleep!! I'll be watching this post to see the advice others have to offer. I too and open to suggestions!!Good luck!

Hi Elyse,
Our daughter is the same age and used to do the same thing. I asked our pediatrician what to do and through a series of questions she found out that we used a nightlight. She said to stop using it and it should help. And what do you know? After a couple of nights to get used to the dark our daughter started only taking about 30 min to fall asleep...and sometimes not even that. We do still have some late nights but they are the exception now, not the norm. We also had to get used to not going in and checking on her. We'd gotten in the habit from when she was an infant and our doctor really discouraged that...even if she was asleep. She said the older children get the lighter they generally sleep and without realizing it we were probably disrupting her sleep patterns. So we had to retrain ourselves as well as our daughter! Hope this helps...
R.

*This is not advice, but my opinion on children maybe not requiring THAT much sleep.*

After having read the responses, I don't think anyone mentioned that maybe their child just doesn't require "that much sleep?" I, too, have a 2&1/2 year old, and he currently goes to bed between 9:30-10pm every night. On occasion, he may go to bed earlier. He gets up between 7-8am every morning. Sometimes 6:30ish even! He has almost quit taking naps, unless I happen to be out and about around lunchtime, and he falls asleep on the way home (and I'm lucky and can transfer him into bed once we arrive home). He never stops going, even on this little bit of sleep.

For those of you who are screaming that we keep our child up too late, my husband works late hours at times, and for instance, the first year of our son's life, and this past year, he has worked incredibly late hours. If I didn't keep him up past 7 or 8, my husband would never see our son awake Mon-Fri. To us, it's more important that our husband and son see one another. Yes, it makes it very hard on me, when I now do not get a break, if there is no nap during the day, but at this moment, that is just something I have to deal with.

We, have tried though, on occasion (when my husband is home at a decent time), getting our son to go to bed earlier, but he is so used to a later bedtime, that he is just restless in bed, gets out, and plays around. I'm sure once he gets closer to school age, we will have somehow do some retraining, but will have to deal with that down the road.
Thank you for letting me put in my two cents worth.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE...Do what you feel is right...No matter what anyone says...there really is not a set routine or bedtime for your child...If you stick to a time and she isn't fussy during the day...I wouldn't worry too much..=) Mine has trouble sleeping the whole night through...but she goes to bed easily...If it is not one thing, it is another...=) I can tell you that with 3 kids..they are all different and wonderful in their own way...My son went to bed at 8:30..slept till 6 or so every night for the first 4 years or so...My daughter...goes to bed at 9:30 and gets up at all different hours of the night...then will sleep till 10 if you let her...which I don't during the week because I also have to work..but she seems happy so I guess this is enough for her...Somedays she is fussy and even says I'm Sleepy...so I let her crash for 1/2 hour or so in the evening. A lot of moms would say this is not good because she won't sleep at night...but she is already not sleeping at night...so LOL...guess it doesn't make a difference every now and then..same amount of sleep..just different way of getting it..=)

I wonder if maybe your daughter needs to go to bed sooner? This was something that we discovered with our 3-month-old - an earlier bed time leads to sleeping longer and night and better and more consistent naps during the day. We struggled with this at first since she seemed to get so much more animated in the evenings, and we really didn't want to put her down since we were having so much fun playing with her, but since we started putting her down at about 6:30, not only has she started sleeping through the night, but she's become that fun kid when she's awake during the day. We found the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to be an invaluable resource; in one section he actually discusses how an early and consistent bedtime benefits the child. Hope this helps. :) -- C. --

Earlier posts have said it, but I agree - even if she doesn't seem tired, put her to bed a little earlier. My reasoning may be a little different, though. My oldest, now 5, plays for a while before sleeping, too, and has done this for as long as I can remember. We just put her to bed earlier and as long as she stays in bed (except to go potty) we let her play quietly until she falls asleep. She has always woken up on her own by about 7:30 (going to bed around 7:30) so mornings have never been an issue. And I was surprised that her sleeping did improve when we transitioned her to a "big girl bed". We told her that if she didn't stay in bed she'd go back to the crib (maybe not a good idea if you can't follow thru 'cause a new baby is using the crib) and she never got out of the bed. Good luck!

I'm fighting with my almost 2 year old to tranisition to his big boy bed right now. Much more difficult than the crib. My only suggestion is try an earlier bedtime. I know when my little guy is overtired he sleeps worse. We shoot for a 7:30 bedtime and in his crib he would sleep until 7 or 7:30, plus take a 2-3 hour nap a day. I read somewhere kids his age should get 16 hours of sleep including naps. Tranisitioning to the big boy bed has effected his sleeping for the worse, but it's getting better. Good luck.