Traveling Abroad Just with Dad?

wow thats something else right there. i would sit your child dow and explaine to her that your not going on the trip and that its going to be a full day of being stuck in the plane. also that you wont be able to just go get her when she needs you. talk to your husband and make sure you agree on the rules for your daughter going. this is a big thing for your daughter. i agree that this will help your child mature emotionally to a point. i also agree that his mom should make the effort to come out to met bith the kids. i do think its unfair that she thinks its too stressful for her but she expects you to go there. since theres nothing medically wrong with her then i see it as selfish. it wouldnt be selfish if you all were going as a family vacation. i agree dads dont think of everything especially when it comes to safety and being out of the country and all that it makes it hard to set up a simple emergency plan for your daughter. if she becomes separated from your husband what should she do. i think in an airport she should wear a name tag with her full name flight number parent and your husbands cell number. i dont know about the american cells not workig over there so im no help with that. it seems like she really just wants to see your hubby not the kids.
oh so to answer your questions
no i dont think i would let my daughter go without me its toooooooooooo risky!
if she does go make sure she knows what to do if she gets lost (look for a police man etc)
good luck this is difficult!

You know, I do feel your pain. I have a daughter who is almost five and she is my world and my life. I don't buy the whole "Grandma is too old to fly thing" If I were to buy a ticket for my 88 year old grandmother who lives in Nigeria, she would be in the next available flight to the United States. Flying is very stressful and you are right we mothers thinks of any and everything. I see where your fear stems from (you really don't know these people that your child would be spending 2 wees with).

At the end of the day though you will have to trust your husband and trust that he will protect your child with his life which if he is anything like mine he will. She is 6 years old off course she will miss mommy and she will cry for you at least once every day until she gets home. But she will be around her cousins and see new things so I think that it would be an exciting experience for her. You would probably feel more pain than she will. Remember kids are resilient.

To make yourself feel better you can negotiate it down to one week instead of two just to test waters and see how she does. Tell hubby that if it goes very well then the next time he has to go he can take her and make it a little longer. My MIL is the same way and mind you she lives in the United States. The good thing about it is hubby would not even take our daughter to go see her(he does not trust her as far as he can throw her).

Take a deep breath mommy and let him take her. She'll be fine, you'll be fine, and you'll have a baby back.

I think it's perfectly fine for you to be having these feelings, they're normal! But, coming from an outside perspective, I do think you might be letting your resentment of the MIL come into play too much and it's making it hard to view the big picture. This is a once in a lifetime experience for your daughter and I think it will be great for her to get so much daddy time in and a trip abroad to experience another part of her cultural heritage. How wonderful to get a chance to learn where you come from! And maybe DH is a little homesick, too?

As an admitted control freak myself, I know how hard it is to let go, even with just the "little" things, but I constantly have to remind myself that even though my hubby does things differently than I do, that doesn't mean he's doing them wrong. In fact, I'm amazed by some of the tricks he comes up with that I wouldn't have thought of.

Just a side note - when I was seven, my parents let me travel ALONE on a plane to visit my grandparents. (Granted, it wasn't to Europe!) I survived (even though I was an EXTREMELY shy kid), and I had a blast with my grandparents. I still remember that trip and am so grateful to have had that special time with them.

Let her go and get over it. They will do just fine. What a great time for her to see and experience other things.
She may miss you but will be fine with Dad, he is her father after all and you do trust him don't you.
I would have loved to go alone with my daddy on a trip. As a family when I was younger we traveled to many places over seas and I have 3 sisters, at the time we traveled we were between the ages of 1-5 bring lots of coloring books and maybe a mini DVD player that runs on batteries.
I know you feel resentment that the other family won't come visit but you can't put that on her, all my family members that live abroad, which is half my family rarely make it to visit as well, thats just life, and like you maybe they cant afford it, let her go and see her grandmother and enjoy herself.
As far as cell phones go, contact your cell phone company they sometimes have loaners for those who go overseas if you dont want to buy one that works over there.

As far as the issue with your mother-in-law, it's not that she can't come visit, she just doesn't want to. Some people are like that. Part of it is also a generational thing. My paternal grandmother never called any of us - she expected us to call her. As a result, she ended up home alone a lot.

As far as your daughter going there, does she want to go? Does she like traveling to new places and meeting new people? My older niece LOVED going new places, and hearing people with accents or speaking different languages. She came on a houseboat trip with my husband and I when she was 5 years old. We were out in the middle of a lake, so we had no cell phone service, but she never had a problem with homesickness. She was having too much fun jumping into the lake, being towed around on an inner tube, playing with the other kids, etc. Her younger sister never even wanted to spend the night at my mom's house until recently. She wanted to be at home with her mom. So I think a good portion of it depends on your daughter's personality. My niece flew alone at 5 (direct flight from Phoenix to LA) and spent a week with me without any problems. Can you try explaining to her what two weeks is, like "starting today, we're going to pretend that you're in Europe and you won't see Mommy again until two Saturdays from now." Every day tell her that she's only been gone for x number of days, and she won't see you again for x more.

As far as your MIL not having an internet connection, I wouldn't worry about that too much. My husband and I went to Italy on our honeymoon, and there were internet cafes all over the place. Your husband could easily find a place for an internet connection.

As far as the flight, if she likes to read, let her bring a ton of books to keep her occupied. What about a portable DVD player and her favorite movies ( and maybe an extra battery pack or two)? I'm not the greatest person technology wise, but if you have a portable DVD player and a video camera, could you make a DVD of you reading a story to her or just talking to her that she could take with her and play if she misses you? Maybe also have her pack her favorite picture of you and her.

You said that she's very excited about taking a trip with just daddy, so I think she'll be fine. I saw an interview with Gwyneth Paltrow once and she talked about how her Dad took her to Paris for the first time because "she should see Paris with a man who would always love her" or something to that effect, and I remembered it because I thought it was a really beautiful sentiment. If your daughter wants to go on this trip, at least she will be there with someone she's comfortable with. This trip will create a lifetime of memories for your daughter. It must be difficult for you to not be able to go; I know I'd want to be there for my daughter's first foreign excursion to see how she reacts to the new people, places, and food.

So if your daughter really wants to go, and you think she'd enjoy it, I'd let her go and tell her to have fun meeting her cousins, because who knows when she'll get to see them again?

Well, I have a mil kind of like that. She loves my daughter, but she won't come down and see her, even though we don't live very far (about 30min). When we go to see her, she is very nice and loving to my daughter, but again, makes NO effort to come visit. It is completely vexing. My husband keeps wanting to move closer to her, but she is not involved and not helpful, so no dice hubby dear.
As to going to Europe, as long as it is very clear that your husband will be coming back, I say go for it. Make plans to call at a certain time to talk to your daughter every day, so there can be contact between you and your daughter and your husband. Make sure that you remind him of what he can look forward to when he gets home, no fighting while he is gone... Or can your parents watch your son for a couple of weeks so you can go too?
Make sure you know the laws for taking a minor child out of the US with only one parent. I think your husband needs writen proof that she can go with him alone.
Your daughter will most likely be fine, but you will be a mess until she gets home. Have her and daddy sit down with a brochure of the country with places to visit, and they plan to visit at least one thing that she picks out. Make sure hubby knows how important it is to follow through on taking her there, so she has some control. It also gives them both a chance to get away together and do some stuff away from the mil and rest of family.
If they have been pressuring daddy to move back home, don't let him go alone. Men can be very weak when it comes to defieing mommy to her face...
Anyway, she should have a great time!
Good luck
R.

First of all, where in the heck in Europe is this..23 hours seems awful distant....or bad connections?
LOL
Anyhow, it seems that you do not feel great about letting them go. I'd have to say that even though you say you cannot pay for 4 tickets, and dread the flight with your younger one...what is worse? Not seeing your daughter for a few weeks, or having a credit card bill to pay for a while?
Here's how to deal.
Go all of you as a family, pick an evening flight out of US (Kids will sleep for the most part), do the same on the way back.
Yeah, it will be a hefty bill, but so what?
You'll be there with your kids, can't beat that!