Transitioning a 4 Mnths Old from Co Sleeping to Sleeping on His Own.

Updated on December 27, 2012
O.Y. asks from New York, NY
11 answers

Hi,

I have co slept with my son for the past 2 months (from 2-4months of age). He was very fussy in the evenings and I was exhausted, so I started taking him to bed with me at the age of 2 mnths. He is still waking up at night every 2-3 hrs, nurses and goes back to sleep (and I know he is getting enough to eat, he is 18lbs now) I would like to move him out of our bed to a pack and play (still in our bedroom, by our bed) for 2 reasons - so my husband can sleep in our bed (he has been sleeping separately for the past 2 months because he is a big guy and has a very deep sleep, so he was worried he would roll on the baby) and we wil be travelling with our family in a few weeks and a house where we are staying has only twin and queen beds and I don't feel comfortable myself to sleep on anything other than our huge king bed with LO. I heard it's hard to transition a baby from co sleeping to sleeping on his/her own (I wish I knew it earlier so I wouldn't co sleep in the first place). Any good advice on how to do it? I am not a fan of cry it out approach. I would rather do it gentle. Thank you so much in advance!

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A.J.

answers from Eau Claire on

I also didnt put my first daughter in her crib until she was 4 months old. And to be honest she slept way better when there wasn't a boob near her face :) I was the one who cryed the first night because she didn't need me lol. It's only hard if you wait until they are a little older...like 7-9 months. When he cries you will still goto him...it's just that you have to get out of bed now. But you may find he sleeps better when you're not near. Give it a try...good luck!

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C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I think the trick is going to be to teach him to self-comfort, so that when he wakes up, he is able to get back to sleep without relying on you for this. It might be best to start with naps and then move on to night time. If he is currently nursing to sleep, I'd stop doing that right away. The goal is to put him in bed awake, but calm (will he take a pacifier, or does he like to be swaddled? That may help). He may fuss a little bit, but just let him do this in order to settle himself down. If he starts to cry, you can go in, quietly place your hand on him, say, "Shh-shh-shh" (but don't talk to him or pick him up). Once he is calm again, leave the room. He will figure it out, but it will take a few days. The other thing I would do is put him down for the night REALLY early - like 6pm. He will probably sleep a lot better going to bed at that hour. I know it sounds crazy, but try it. Put him down awake, but calm.

The other thing is, I'd very quickly try to transition him to sleeping in another room. Trust me, if he cries at night, you WILL hear him. But babies sleeping on their own make a lot of noise, and often times will even make crying sounds in their sleep. They will quickly quiet down again if you leave them be (because they're not actually awake, just restless in their sleep), but if they're sleeping right next to you, it's impossible to ignore the noise. You'll both sleep better if he's sleeping in the next room. I don't know if you want to try all of this cold turkey or gradually, but he's still young enough that it won't be too hard of a transition, probably. Good luck!

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Just do it, there will be some crying (he's a baby), that's what they do. But if you can just get through a few nights/days, he's going to rest better and so will you and your husband. Be consistent.

Blessings......

3 moms found this helpful
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C..

answers from Columbia on

transitioning at 4 months isn't the "hard" you hear about.... it's when you co-sleep until they KNOW where they are sleeping and have done it so that's ALL they know..... like if your son was 3 and had only ever (or predominantly) co-slept. For you, that is not the case.

What's important now is that you are consistent and attend to your son's needs... no matter where he sleeps.

Figure out a routine.... and then stick to it. No matter where you are. I think a pack n play is a good call, especially since you will be traveling... your son will still be sleeping in the 'same' place.

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J.M.

answers from New York on

The younger you have your child sleep in his or her own bed, the easier it would be as your child grows. Having a place where your baby can sleep near you is very helpful, specially when you are half asleep :) Having your child in your room but in separate sleeping place not only helps you sleep but as well as your partner. I had my child sleep in his crib in my room until 7 month and moving him out was no problem because he still had the comfort of his same sleeping arrangement aka his crib. Good luck and hope all turns out well

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K.S.

answers from Miami on

I suggest if you have the room just have the crib in your room pushed up against your bed for a while.

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P.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

I co-slept until I couldn't anymore. My girls are a year apart, so when baby #2 came we had to transition #1 to her own bed. She squirmed too much. But for a short time both girls slept with us. Daddy had #1 on his side. I had #2 on my side. Sure it was a PITA, so we did have to put a stop to it. #1 was just craving attention because of the new baby. But anyway.. My point is they are only young for a short period of time. Enjoy it! Breastfeeding is easier if you co-sleep. I always just gave them the boob and went right back to sleep. With #2 I never had a single issue with night feedings because I didn't stress over it. Sleep for everyone is the most important thing here. My hubby is overweight, snores badly, and is also a heavy sleeper. I could put the baby between us or I'd be between them. Either way, I always put my arm around the baby. Nothing bad ever happened.

If you really think a transition is necessary then just do it. It will be hard, though. You will be up and down all night. And baby may be quite lonely at first. I suggest wrapping baby in your shirt or giving a pacifier.

Good luck!

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Start with the daytime naps. That way when he wakes up he can see where he is instead of waking up in the middle of the night and being unaware. Also put him in there when he is still awake, like when you have to shower or cook, etc. again so that he can get used to the feeling and surroundings.
will he complain at first? yes. will he get used to it? yes.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you tried being a partial co-sleeper?
I'm pretty sure that's not a real term, just something I made up, lol!
I would always nurse my kids to sleep, and put them down, tightly swaddled, in their crib.
They would usually sleep for at least a few hours (longer as they got older) and that gave hubby and me much needed time alone in bed.
Once they awoke for a feeding I brought them to bed because there was NO way I had the energy or desire to sit up in a cold dark room feeding and comforting a baby.
If I thought my husband was such a heavy sleeper that he would have been a danger HE would've been on the couch, for however long it took.
These years are short, and your marriage is (hopefully) long, so I hope you can figure it out.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Some hints.. Roll up a towel and place it with you to sleep with a night or two, then place it in the pack and play. When you place your slightly swaddled child in the pack and play, place his head bumped up against that rolled up towel.. They like that slight pressure up there.

Also does your infant sleep on his tummy yet? Can he lift and turn his head when on his stomach?

IF he can lift and turn his head while on his stomach, you could ask your pediatrician if you can place your son on his tummy to sleep. Many infants sleep lots better once they can sleep on their tummies.

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R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Amen to what CoMoMom says. The "hard" part will be figuring out your routine and sticking to it consistently, because he may very well cry. Since he's familiar with your room set up the pack n play and start with him taking naps in it. Once he seems cool with that start night sleeping there...give him a bath, rubdown with nighttime lotion, nurse him, then put him down drowsy but still awake so he can learn to self soothe. Leave the room until he's asleep, keep noise level the same as when he slept with you, he's familiar with that. If he fusses before you're ready to go to bed leave the light off (use a nightlight) and tend to him as quietly as possible, avoid exciting him. Place him back in the pack n play and leave the room. When you're in bed and he needs you do the same, and return him to his pack n play. As long as you consistently return him there after taking care of him he'll learn what to expect. He may fuss and cry (your instinct will tell you if the cry is different and he needs up) but this is how he'll learn. Heard this just last week from Dr. Sears, and learned it from my Mom who raised 11 of us, did this with my children, so I know it works :)

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