Transition from Family Bed to Crib

I remeber those days and there were a couple of things that I tried that seemed to work the first I started her on cereal. This worked for about 3 months and then I actually just layed her in her bed and rubbed her head. Both of my girls would not take a pacifier which I found has been a good thing. So I ended up swaddeling them and laying them down after there cereal and finsihed bottle. Most Dr's say don't give them cereal until they are 6 months but for my sanity and my sleep deprived state I did just rice cereal and swaddeling. There are times that I still have to sit with her at night until she is almost asleep and then lay her down and other nights I can jsut say It is time to go night night and lay her down with her puppy and blanket and that it that.
One bit of advice I have been told that if you go to lay them back down because they are sitting up or standing DO NOT PULL THEM TOWARD YOU. It gives them a false sense that you are actually going to hold them. And I will tell you there were some nights that it was awful and it broke my heart, but know that it is for the best and that it will all be okay in the end.

Are you limiting caffeine and sugar? I notice when I drink caffeine and breastfeed my baby doesn't sleep well. Just wanted to ask. DS

I remember just screaming inside to get this baby off my breast and get her out of my bed. She would only fall asleep on my breast. I would watch her start to slip into sleep and as quietly as I could, slip my finger inside her lips to break the super-sucker-seal, then I would have to count to 100 before slowly sliding out of bed.

Before putting her down, I had to make sure I wasn't wearing boots, becuase I would wake her up getting out of bed. I would sneak very, very, very quietly to the door, slide outside the door, begin to close the door and then step on a squeaky floor board and WHAAAAAAAA!

That whole process would take me an hour or much more every night. I had NO life; I was going crazy! I researched, read, begged for advice. I swear I had 20 books. THere was no advice that worked for my kid or my situation.

What I realize now is that patience and breathing is the only thing you can do. This insane time will pass and sooner than you think, so focus on your own self-care. That's right, I said take care of yourself. Do some things that are extra nuturing. Take a hot bath, get a friend over to watch both kids while you go for a walk or meet a good friend for coffee. Spend time thinking about how to take care of you and when you are in bed with baby boy, try to do some deep breathing.

I found the more anxious I got, the most tense I got, the more I was ready to SCREAM, the longer it took my girl to let go of me. I began doing really deep and slow breathing while laying next to her, not only for myself, but because I wanted her to follow suit. It did a lot of good for me and sometime it made things go easier for her, but it did improve my relationship with her at night.

One other piece of advice is get a copy of "The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal," by Renee Trudeau (Austin author and mom). It is a loving month by month guide that helps moms reconnect with who they are after baby. You can find it on Amazon, but I bought it direct from www.reneetrudeau.com. You won't regret it.

She has sample chapters on her website, so go check those out today. I love Chapter Four: Managing Your Energy: Setting Priorities, Saying No and Asking for Help.

My son is 6 months and we went throught the exact same thing. I thought I was going to go insane. He would fall asleep but not stay asleep and wake up every hour and after awhile I couldn't even get him to sleep. He basically went on a sleep strike. He wouldn't even sleep during the day We tried keeping him in our bed but that still didn't work. I tried everything: nursing,rocking,bouncing,bottle,white noise,classical music,etc. The only thing that worked was driving in the car. We would get in the car and drive around at 2am. We took him to the doctor a couple of times because we thought something was wrong and he just told us that baby's don't sleep and to get through it. I know he didn't have reflux or gas, we tried teething gel,tablets,etc. NOTHING WORKED. One night after weeks of no sleep I thought I was going to go insane and I just let him cry for a couple of hours. He finally slept and the next night he cried for 30 minutes. He has been sleeping great now for the past couple of weeks. It is a really terrible thing to go through and I think it was a stage that he went through and grew out of, I wish you the best of luck.

I nursed my daughter and let her sleep with us until about 9 months, then we began transitioning her into her crib. Although it took time at first, I think she was ready to sleep on her own because when she slept with us, she constantly woke up. (kind of like she wanted her own space) However, when I would place her in the crib, she'd wake up and cry. It was important to me and my husband that we would respond to her when she would cry so we would go in there and pat her back to sleep. Yes sometimes it took 30 min of standing there but there was progress every week and now she sleeps thru the night just fine. The key thing I noticed was to not take her out of the crib. I also made sure her belly was full, she wasn't teething, etc. Don't worry soon he'll adjust. God luck!

Have you got a car bed or something small that you can put him in in your room? When I breastfed, I put my baby in a small baby bed next to the bed and when she was finished nursing, she was put back in the bed and went fast to sleep. There were times when she was nursing that we both feel asleep and I woke up to find her in the middle between mom and dad asleep. As she got older and I could hear her she went to her crib down the hall. I never had any problems like this. Have you spot to your about it?

You may have to tough it out because you do have another child to tend to not just the one. Hang in there it will get better.

If he cried or fussed for 7 hours, there's something going on that's causing him to not be able to sleep (ie teething, nearing a big milestone, sickness, etc.) Be careful, I did something similar around the same age and it took longer for my son to get back on track. It also sounds like he's perhaps over tired too.

Some babies just are like that and you just do what you have to. The family bed is probably not causing this nor will changing the sleep situation at this point help much imo until he's through going through whatever he's going through. Even Ferber says that crying it out should be last resort and the child should not be crying for hours. The underlying issues have to be first addressed.

I know a lot of people have had much better luck with Elizabeth Pantley's book -- No Cry Sleep Solution. She covers the family bed and how to get more sleep. She also covers transitioning to another bed. Most libraries carry it and the information is really really good. Mothering.com has a night parenting bulletin board that can be helpful too I've heard. http://www.askmoxie.org/sleep/index.html also has some good sleep articles.

Good luck!

Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems By Richard Ferber, MD

Director< Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders Children's Hospital, Boston

Good Book

I had a friend who gave me the best advice ever. However you need to sleep so that YOU and your family get the most sleep is the best way to sleep. If that means keeping your child in with you, adn you are comfortable with that, good. If it means a crib, good. If it means a blanket on the floor...well, maybe not, but, good. Whatever you feel like doing is right. Our children were each different sleepers. One slept through the night at 2 months once we put him in the crib. Our daughter went in the crib at day one, and our newest daughter sleeps in the bassinet at our bedside. Occasionally she sleeps with us, but only later mornings as I am nervous about rolling over with her in bed with us.
Keep trying different things, but in the end, which every way gives you the sleep to be sound and not go crazy, (been there, done that) then that is the best thing for your family.

My personal experience with the family bed...
My then 22 month old and my newborn were both sleeping with us. I nursed the newborn, this made it easier to tend to him. He would wake every 2 hours - EVERYNIGHT for 9 months! I finally come to figure out why.... he is a super light sleeper. He can literally hear you walking on the carpet. So we decided that he needed to go in his crib - in his own room. And we turned on classical or Celine Dion's Miracle CD (it's great!) and that would help him go to sleep and stay asleep.

The bottom line being that when you have 4 persons in one bed - there's not a lot of room and someone is bound to be robbed of their sleep. My boys are almost 4 & 6. We kicked them out of our room, because "we" needed time together also. It took a few weeks - but it is sure worth it in the end.

Good Luck!

H.

Have you talked to your Ped? Maybe the baby has reflux. I am battling sleep problems now with my 9 month old. It's tough. I'm trying to change my attitude since I can't seem to change her behavior. I'd have the baby checked by the ped. for ear infections, UTI, teething, and GER (reflux).

I don't have advice, but I feel for you! I am on the same boat w/ my almost 8 month old. I want him out of our bed but my heart breaks to let him cry it out. I nursed so I brought him in bed so I could feed him and doze. He wakes up EASILY. When I get frustrated at night cause he is keeping me up, I just started to ignore him (turn my back)while he is between my husband and I. He doesn't get so upset because he is still right there but he does fuss, try to pull at us, he eventually falls asleep, and we could still sleep while he is annoying us cause we are tired. He falls asleep faster like this then if I try. OMG my advice is sad after I just re-read it. lol Hope you get sleep soon!

Bless your heart. That is rough. Okay, you say there is nothing wrong. No gas, acid reflux? No ear infection? Is he startling himself? My middle child had horrible acid reflux. We would be up all night. My husband finally figured out 'white noise' would sooth our son. Vent-a-hood fan was our saving grace. He did not want to sleep with us or in his bed. It was awful. I basically had to let him play until he litterally fell asleep on the floor. I hate to say I finally established a night time routine. Wind down peaceful, bath, pj's, bottle, cuddle, put in crib. We would go in after 5 minutes, lay him down, rub his back, shh sounds, and say night night. 10 minutes later one of us would go in lay him down, rub his back, and shh sounds. Then 15 minutes later lay him down, rub his back, and leave without saying anything. If still crying wait another 20 minutes lay him down and leave. It will be rough at first but you are establishing a learned lesson. It was so hard but did eventually take. He loved his bed so much that he did not want to move to a big boy bed. He had a favorite blanket and he was good to go.

Some other ideas, is he afraid of the dark? How does he nap during the day?

I hope you find the right answer.

I remember those days! My daughter just turned 2 and is an excellent sleeper. For some, sleep has to be taught I think. I put Gabby in a playpen as a first transition with a small pillow on one side of her as well as a shirt of mine for smell. I would stay there until she fell asleep. That worked for some time and as she became comfortable there I began to leave her and she would fall asleep on her own. From there the transition to a crib was no problem. I had tried everything up until then: sling, stroller, crying, etc. What didn't work for me was letting her fall asleep then moving her - she'd ALWAYS wake up! Also, she didn't need that much sleep. She gave up her morning nap at 9 months because she was sleeping so well at night. I also started a routine early with her and we still do it to this day for her nap and her bedtime. I too thought I'd never see the day when my kid would sleep so just stay consistent and caring. I also have a fan on the floor that drowns out any noise that may wake her before she's ready. I hope this has helped and feel free to e-mail me ____@____.com

i agree -- it doesn't sound like the family bed is the problem or the solution. pantley's book is good, and so is ferber's - the new edition which covers more about cosleeping, etc.

my daughter is now 2 and sleeps well, but was a horrible sleeper for the first 1 1/2 years. the only thing that helped her was bouncing - try cradling baby in your arms and sitting on the edge of a regular bed and bouncing up and down, make sure you have good head support. if that helps, you can do it on an excercise ball -- less tiring - and look up the amby bed online. swings, the car etc were no help for us.

I only have one little girl that is 13 months old, but what I noticed with her is that when we started feeding her cereal she transitioned very well. Actual cereal, not mixed in the bottle. Have you tried that? We also had to give it to her at the feeding right before bed time. It was an instantaneous change. Now, I want her to fall asleep with me on the couch or in bed, and she doesn't. She only wants her bed. I'm not sure if this will help, but feeding our baby cereal was the deal sealer for us.