Training

Updated on January 26, 2008
C.D. asks from Wappingers Falls, NY
14 answers

At what age do you start training an infant to fall asleep on his own? He is only a month but is used to falling asleep in my arms. When can he fall asleep in his own bed and not be held?

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K.K.

answers from New York on

Now!!!! :) Yes, enjoy all the cuddling and holding, but start establishing patterns now. My first slept through the night at 6 wks, my second 9 wks. Read "The Baby Whisperer" book (by Hogg??) She offers some good advice and easy to remember 'rules' to go by. I swear by it and have two examples of success.

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T.W.

answers from Buffalo on

Please do not get Gary Ezzo's sleep training book as someone else suggested. It has been linked to failure to thrive infants, dehydration, and many women have had CPS get involved because of the strict schedule that often leads to neglect. Here are some links on that. The AAP STRONGLY advises against his teachings.

http://aapnews.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/1...
http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/bhealth/0,,40kq,00.html
http://www.rickross.com/reference/gfi/gfi5.html

I strongly recommend getting Dr. Sears Nighttime Parenting book. It explains why babies sleep the way they do, how to understand their sleep patterns and help them develop good sleeping patterns in a gentle way that isnt a danger to their health. Sleep training should never be done with a baby under 6 months. After then, there are ways to help them fall asleep and stay asleep better, but keep in mind your baby will follow their own pattern and its all normal. Beware of people telling you your baby *should* be sleeping this or that by this or that age. Every baby is different. Follow you baby's cues, its more harmonious for all involved that way!

Here is a link for the book. You can get it at your local library or on amazon or ebay pretty cheap! Good Luck!

http://www.amazon.com/Nighttime-Parenting-Your-Child-Slee...

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T.M.

answers from Elmira on

I was 36 when we had our first child. I did everything "wrong", because I wanted to: I've nursed him to sleep every time, picked him up every time he cried and never left him crying in the crib for more than 3 min. He slept in our room till he was about 9 month and than i SLOWLY transitioned him to the big crib- one nap at the time. If he cried, I took him back to our room. We just took it very slowly and everyone was happy. My son is 18 month old, goes to sleep no problem alone now. He is a good example that you can not spoil baby with too much love. Do what feels good.

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L.C.

answers from New York on

Hi C.<

My baby is now 3 months and 2 weeks and I started first with "nap" training and I followed the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. The book "changed my life!!" Honestly. Then at about 3 months after being so sleep deprived, my husband and I decided that we would move our daughter into her own room (and crib) and only feed her once during the night. After about a week of this we let her "cry it out" It was hard at first but after 3 nights of crying it out she FINALLY sleeps 12 hours. (we put her down at 6:45-7ish and wakes at 7!!! ).

I suggest that about at 2 months try getting your baby down for naps every 2 hours and then at night start a bedtime routine. We feed Olivia at about 5 pm (pumped breastmilk or you can breastfeed), let her have some nude time (which she LOVES), give her a bath, massage, PJ's and then I read her a book and breast feed her. Make sure she is awake when you put her to bed though!
I can only say what worked for me!!

Good Luck!

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D.D.

answers from New York on

right now he needs his your warmth, love and tenderness. Cherish this special time because in a few months you will miss him sleeping in your arms, trust me!! My son slept in my arms or on my chest 50% of the time for his first 3 months due to extreme gassiness and now he's 7 months and i miss holding him like that! he sleeps on his own in his crib now. Forget about "sleep training" for now. Try to put him down after he falls asleep in your arms, newborns sleep so well you shouldnt disturb him by putting him down. Good luck and congratulations.

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S.M.

answers from Buffalo on

After the first two weeks of having a baby home from the hospital you can start training. Try the book On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo. It gets your baby on an awesome schedule and if you stick to the schedule, your baby...and then toddler will adhere to it without even knowing it. It's great.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Everyone has different opinions.. but I believe "sleep training" isn't appropriate until a year... at the earliest 6 months.

During those first 6 months, I believe that alot of waking is really survival techniques... they need to eat, they need to be changed, etc.

I have a bit of an extreme view, but I'm sure you'll see everything on here.

With my dd, now 28 months, we would "put" her to sleep, then transition to laying her down... rock her.. then hold her still for a couple minutes, then lay her down gently, hold our hands on her... she did sleep alot in her swing for naps, etc. when she was younger. it is very tough once they get past that newborn sleep all the time stage.

Do what feels best to you as ds' mommy.

HTH

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S.R.

answers from New York on

Hi C.,

I'm a mother of two girls. Hanna is almost 3 yrs old and Kiran is 8 months old. The best advice I can give you is what I did with my girls and it worked like a charm. I had them in a bassinet (in our room) for the first month and as soon as they turned two months old....I put them in their room and in their crib. I would sit with them read them a book and then say goodnight and put a CD on with relaxing baby music and walk out the door. You just need to have a routine with babies. What ever you do to them is what they will get used too. Also I gave them a pacifier so that they can learn to sooth themselves. I did the CD for a few months and then I switched to a fisher price Aquarium and after a while no music. Both of them sleep on their own for the night and if the baby happens to wake up I would just go in put the pacifier in her mouth put the music on and then leave the room. I remember as soon as I would put them into their own beds that's when they would fall asleep thru the night. When Hanna was 18 months old I had gotten rid of the pacifier as well. Any change to the routine babies will not like but after crying for a bit they get used to it. Don't be afraid of him crying. I hope this helps... Good luck!

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D.

answers from New York on

I wouldn't try to start this until he's about 3 mos or so. When you start, you want to put him in the bed drowsy but awake. Once you put him down try not to pick him back up again. Pat him and shush him from the side of his crib. I play music in their rooms to help. In the middle of the night when they wake you can turn it on to help them go back to sleep more easily. Also some babies don't like to go into a cold bed after being in your warm arms. I put my daughter on a fuzzy blanket. My son was a piece of cake. He still goes down easy. My daughter is still having a hard time going on her own. We've been at this 2 mos. but she has made improvements. Some nights she goes totally on her own, some nights it takes a little longer.

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M.K.

answers from Syracuse on

I started when my daughter was about 2-3 months. You're doing a good job now if the baby falls asleep just laying in your arms, without the bottle or anything.

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L.D.

answers from Albany on

C.,

That's hard to say. All my boys liked cuddling until they got to about 2 even if it was just to sit on the sofa with them for a while. The time lasts such a short period of time. Then they will get to a point where they are "too old" to be cuddled by mom. I say "enjoy it"!!

C.B.

answers from New York on

I say when they are ready. Very little ones need help and should get it. My DD still rocks with me before going to bed and naps. She doesn't fall asleep anymore but still needs snuggle time before being laid down. I think we started training around four months. It didn't really stick until six though. Try to enjoy these times with your little one asleep in your arms. Once they are over you will miss it like crazy.

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J.J.

answers from New York on

Hi C., I am a baby nurse. I 100% agree with Diana you can start when your baby is about 2 to 3mths.That does not mean it will happen overnite as well as it can so give it time.Good luck!!!!!

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J.I.

answers from New York on

Congrats on the new baby! I think everyone does it differently, cause all kids and parents are different. I think it's key to remember that you are part of the equation. If her falling asleep in your arms is wonderful, keep doing it. If it causes anxiety or frustration, stop, or have your husband do it. My sister sleep trained by the book. I didn't. We both have great kids who are healthy, funny, indpendent in moments, not in others. They both have tantrums, they both are affectionate. Love is the universal ingrediant.
Good luck!
J.

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