Tough Times....

Updated on April 08, 2013
M.B. asks from Clearwater, FL
18 answers

The last few weeks my son has been slipping. His general mood has been terrible. After almost a year of stability he's falling back in to what he calls his "dark spot" he's been having extream violent outbursts, biting me kicking a hole in his wall. Yelling and screaming, we are taking him to see his dr tomorrow but I'm afraid he will suggest it may be time for a hospital stay to get him back under control. He's been hospitalized a few times in the past but dang it breaks my heart! Sorry for the rambling I guess my question is how am I going to get through this again? PLEASE no negative remarks about what we may have to do for my son, it's hard enough to make this kind of decision.

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So What Happened?

My son is 7
My mom is on stand by to fly in from California if need be, so I will have help with the baby

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I know Andy has a different disorder but a lot of the same stuff. Just the beginning of this year he was slipping. It takes time, lots of thinking, lots of working with the school but he is back and better than ever!

At least for me getting through it is staying calm and identifying what has changed. Is it meds, routine, teachers.... We had a lot of meetings!

I think it peaked in third grade. He went into the hospital several times for behavior and getting the meds right. If we ever had to do some heavy tweaking of his meds I wouldn't hesitate to put him in the hospital, I want him safe. Then he spent two years out of inclusion at the special school.

You will get through this!

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I am so sorry. You will get through it because you have to. Hopefully it will mean a more stable time is ahead. May they make a significant break through in his treatment.

8 moms found this helpful

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B..

answers from Dallas on

So sorry :(

I remember the times with my sister, when my parents had to hospitalize her during very bad spots. Yes, it was heartbreaking and devastating. I did not fully understand as a child, but as a parent...I don't know how they did it. I mean, the really just had to. I think they didn't even know how they got through it. They used to always say "one foot in front of the other."

I'm so sorry, M.. I don't really know what to say other then that. I hope this gets better. I pray every day, that there will be progress made in treating mental illness. I'll say prayers for you and your family. I know this is so hard.

16 moms found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

You do what you need to do to help your son. It may be tough but the alternative and not hospitalizing him would not help him, right? You are being a good parent, be comforted in that.

God bless you and be with you as you go through this tough time, {Hugs}

12 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

poor mom...poor little guy too ...7 is so little. i guess you just do what you have to, to help him, right? that's all you can do.

my 6 1/2 year old son has pretty severe adhd - and this morning he had a really rough time. we sat in church this morning and i literally started crying watching him, because it looked like he felt like he had ants crawling all over him - he could not stop moving. it was so sad and i felt SO bad. we have been through a lot with him (NOTHING like what you've gone through, i know!) and to find out we were back to square one was heartbreaking. there's nothing worse than feeling helpless in regards to your child.

i just really, really wish the best for you and your little guy. i hope that him going through this at such a very young age, means that his tough mama will help him get it under control before it really harms him long term.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Know that by getting him professional help, that you are doing the absolute best for him. We can't do everything ourselves sometimes, and by not going into denial, you are being the best possible mom.

9 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Phoenix on

You're going to get through this, again! You don't have a choice. You will be strong for your son because he needs you to be.

You can do this! I will pray for you, tonight and tomorrow. Whatever the outcome, remember your son is watching you for your reaction.

Hang in there M., better days lay ahead!

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

I'm sorry you are going through this.... you don't mention how old he is....

Anyway, even though you HAVE had to make this decision before, it isn't an easy one.... even though you know you make that decision based on what you really believe will be the right thing.

As I'm sure you realize, that may be best so they can stabilize his mood properly and get his medications balanced properly. As people grow, and as they go through the hormonal changes of puberty, their medication needs change... this may have to be done in a controlled environment so they can properly monitor his moods and behaviors. The last thing you want to happen is for him to really go off the deep end and either harm himself or someone else.....

One thing to remember... at this point in his life, you DO have the ability to make his choices for him and mandate the hospitalization, if necessary.... after he reaches a certain age, you can't even make him take his medicine! Hopefully by that point he will understand how necessary it is.....

Hugs for you.... keep strong!

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

M.,

I can understand how hard this must be for you, but if the doctor recommends another hospital stay, that is what will be best for your child and you and your family. If the doctors can help him while he is small/young perhaps that will mean he will have a normal life as he gets older.

Blessings.....

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

We face this question all the time. My grandson's case manager wants to hospitalize him all the time. I don't. With my background in psychology I don't feel he's that bad yet. I do know that his meds help him a lot. They do get built up in their system over time and they build a resistance to them. I hope that your son will be able to go in and they will see him at his worse so they will know what he needs.

It's hard, my daughter went to a place in Norman and stayed there several weeks. They would do stuff to piss her off, they didn't intervene in arguments unless someone was at risk so they could see how the kids handled it. It was so hard once we could visit her after a couple of weeks. She begged us to take her home. We said no, she got on some meds and was better for a while.

I know this will be hard but it will also be a quiet time for your household. A time to rest up and regroup your thoughts. It would also be good for you to all go to the therapy sessions so you can find out what's going on with him and you can come to some decisions about how it's going to go when he comes home.

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M.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You will get through this because you are one strong Mama. Keep getting all the professional and personal support you need. Please keep in mind the storm will pass. Blessings and ((((hugs)))))

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D..

answers from Miami on

I'm so sorry, M.. I think the answer to your question just must be "one day at a time". Thinking of you.

6 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

M.:

I'm sorry. I would do whatever my doctor thinks will be best for my son. Is your son bi-polar or what? What is his diagnosis?

I am sorry that I can't offer more advice. I would do what my TRUSTED doctors say we need to do for him...if that means putting in the hospital to get his meds evened out and firm psychiatric help for my son.

How would I get through this again? I would go to church and pray for strength and guidance...

I would find a support group that has other parents going through this and get their information, support and guidance.

I would let my family know that we will need their help with our other child and any pets while we take care of our son in the hospital.

You are not alone. I know there are people who can help you!
Good luck.

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K.P.

answers from Miami on

The SAFEST place for your son to stabilize is the hospital. You know it's coming and it stinks, but you also know that for him to safely come off of his medications and have a complete "med wash", he needs to be in a place where he can be medically monitored and kept safe.

I'm sorry that you guys are going through this again. Remember... this is a lifelong battle for him too. Please help him to see these hospital stays as "helpful and productive" rather than something to be feared or angered over. You will "thank yourself" years from now if he can see this now.

Deep breath. You know this will have a positive outcome.

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O.O.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm sorry you're going through this right now .
Although I have no experience with a child with bipolar, I think that all of us, as parents, just find a way to get through the toughest if decisions and times while keeping in mind that it is for the benefit if ghe child in the end.
Hang tough.
God Bless.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

You will get through it because you know it's the best thing for him. YOu just have to keep reminding yourself of that.

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

I'm so sorry M.. You are in my thoughts and prayers. We as moms do all we can for the health and safety of our kids. Many times it comes at the most inopportune time and we wonder how we are ever going to get through it...but we always do. Stay strong for your little guy, he needs you to help make decisions that are best for him. Trust in your doctors and in God. They together, will comfort your fears and guide you along the way. Remember to take good care of yourself. Hugs.

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J.D.

answers from Cincinnati on

You totally have this. just reach deep down into the tips of your toes because thats where that extra bit of strength is to get you through this. A hospital stay might be the best place for him, if its going to get him back into control and if hes on meds to get them adjusted again. I know you want whats best for your child and thats why you are doing this. Its just another obstacle you jumped over before so now do it again and you'll jump over it.
Try finding a support group. It really does help.

1 mom found this helpful
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