Tough Question About Santa

"Santa DOES bring them a gift. But their families don't have enough money to buy them other gifts, like all the ones you got from me and dad and grandma and grandpa."

This is why I don't want Santa to be the big gift-giver in our house. (Point of contention between hubby and I... He likes the "Wow" factor of having a bunch of new gifts appear under the tree overnight, and while I think Santa is fun, I don't want to put too much effort into making him "real", and it's so hard to explain economic inequalities)

I don't have a good answer though... Maybe something along the lines of "there are a lot more people in the world than there used to be, so sometimes it's hard for him to visit every single house. But he knows kind children like you will help him out and make sure they get presents. You are such a good Santa's Helper!"

"Santa needs helpers. Unfortunately, he can't do it all. Especially when kids are homeless."

IF she brings it up again...I would NOT broach it again..she's satisfied with her answer of them not being able to afford paper and pencils...

Good luck!

My kids only get one gift (and stockings) from Santa, but they get lots of other gifts from us and extended family and friends. My boys understood we donated toys so that the poor kids could get more gifts than just the one that Santa brings.

I'd position Santa as the great organizer and the delivery guy, but he's only as good as all his helpers. Those are the elves, but there's only a certain amount of room in the workshops at the North Pole. Santa depends on the good people around the world who help out. Santa has a workshop, but only has a certain number of elves, and he just can't create all the toys out of nothing. He depends on the spirit of goodness in everyone. So the helpers at churches, the Marine who do Toys For Tots, the people who put mitten trees up in office building lobbies, the people who write checks to charities -- they are all part of the same network of humanity who care about each other. (This idea will outlast any belief in Santa - so everyone still has to do their part.)

You can bring this up in the next few days, saying, "You know, I've been thinking a lot about your question…." You can also make giving a part of every month, not just the month of September. Find something you can do all year round - even if it's just one donation, or a recycling of used clothing/toys, or a monthly food donation.

I suggest telling her you are Santa's helpers. There are so many children he asks others to help him.

I've had this conversation and pointed out that Santa has a hard time finding kids who don't have homes. And the had a brief conversation about homelessness.

That's why Santa only brought ONE gift to our house, and filled the stockings. My kids always knew the rest of their presents came from us because they were already under the tree. It helped with the idea of giving and charity.

If it comes up again tell her you misspoke the first time. Tell her that you said you were donating toys because if you didn't then poor children wouldn't get anything. Let her know that you made a mistake because the toys were being collected to help parents give their children a little extra cheer during the holidays. Since she believes in Santa you can show that Santa finds all children but as people in the world its up to each of us to help by spreading a little extra help and love for others.

This can open a talk about people and animals who could use help in one way or another. You could go on line and look into a charity that you as a family can support all year. Use it as a teaching time if it comes up again.

I told my daughter two years ago that Santa (and the rest of the make believe gang) does not exist. She is 9 now. She was so upset..she was such a believer...
The main thing as to why she was upset was because I had lied to her.
We have happy and beautiful holidays still!! Perhaps even better!
Maybe that is something to think about right now..

When mine asked that question I told her that she knew Samta didn't make the toys because she saw them at the store and that I gave Santa money to get toys for her.

ETA:
Santa = Satan? How do you make leaps of logic that vast without the aid of seven-league boots and a jet pack?

It depends on the role Santa plays in holiday gift-giving in your family.

I'm not sure what you could have done differently with YOUR 5-year-old in THIS situation because I don't know exactly what you wanted her to LEARN in this teachable moment.

My best advice would be to step back a moment from what you know she already "knows" about Santa, and think about what you want her to "believe" about PEOPLE. What does it take to deserve something? Who is deserving? Are some people more deserving than others? Do we have to deserve everything we get? Who's job is it to help when people don't have what they need? What about what they want?

Decide whether your current tradition and/or previous conversation mesh with your goals for her. If they do, carry on, and don't worry about the expensive paper explanation. If they don't, figure out where the disconnect is and adjust.

In our family, Santa (who is "believed in" by DS but as a compelling myth, not as a totally real person... which makes it a bit easier) brings ONE REQUESTED GIFT for the stocking on Christmas Eve. He also brings fruit or sweets, and occasionally a few SMALL surprises at the bottom of the stocking (a yoyo, or whistle etc), but that's it... So the Toys for Tots question would have been easily answered that this is to help them have other gifts.

The MAJORITY of gifts on Christmas come from us, family, or friends. That's important to me because it's really important that he practice THANKING the very real PEOPLE who gave him things (rather than thinking he got a pile of gifts because he was entitled to them... or conversely that if he received less it was because he was entitled to less).

When we volunteer or he donates clothes/toys, it's important to me that he learn that doing for others is the RESPONSIBILITY of everyone who can. I don't want him to feel sorry for the people he's helping, I want him to respect them, and help in the way that they have asked, the way that lots of people respect him and try to do what he asks. We always talk about how much HE has, how it isn't fair for HIM to have so much and that he should find ways to share that with other people.

It sounds like your daughter is a caring, thoughtful person. Best of luck with this and with all things. :)

We tell our kids that Santa brings one big gift but the parents get all the rest.

I told my kids that every family is different and Santa follows the rules established by each family because Santa respects the authority of parents in the home. If mom says no to a puppy then Santa won't bring that family a puppy even though the child asked for one and even though he might bring a puppy to someone else. If that family can only afford one present then Santa will only bring one present.

Santa is a lie. Why are we lying to our children? Because everyone else is doing it? Because Santa is everywhere and it's fun? It's really not fun. Especially for poor kids who don't have all these gifts.

It's better not to lie to our young children, who trust everything we say is true. I learned this the hard way.

By the time my son was in 3rd grade, he didn't believe God was real. For some kids, having your parents lie to you about Santa (he was devastated when he found out it was fake - he was 6.5) destroys your credibility.

Our 2nd child wanted the truth about Santa. I was still doing it at the time (not so heavy) and it is everywhere. She secretly asked her brother for the truth (she was 4) and was quite happy to know the truth and not be lied to.

If I have more kids, no more Santa in our house. My daughter agrees that she will not raise her kids to believe in Santa either. And if you switch the letters around, it spells something else.
http://www.biblebelievers.com/watkins_santa/santa.html