Totally Frustrated

My son was like that too. He would eat very little for my husband and my mom when they were watching him. He lost weight too. Luckily, I only had to go back to work for 6 weeks, so it wasn't too bad. As the weeks went on, he did get better, though. Hang in there!

I don't have suggestions for you on how to remedy it, buti wanted to suggest something different. Most of the time when I hear about stuff like this, it ends up being because the child doesn't like/feels uncomfortable in the environment. A lot of times with babies in centers, they don't get a lot of personalized attention (I could be totally wrong and that may not be the case- you probably know if he is or is not). In any case, what seems to help little ones with the transition is more of a SAHM or something, one that only takes him or him and one other, and can offer him full attention during the day- time to hold just him, play with just him, etc. If he feels more loved and that his needs are consistently met he will feel more comfortable and eat better, often with ones that young things like that 9not eating) are the only way they have of telling you- "I'm not happy- something is wrong here!!" I have a degree in psychology with a focus on child development, and I used to care for a few little ones in my home (now just one so I could give her a lot of attention!!!!) and thats just my personal opinion and what I've seen!!!!!! I hope it helps and Good Luck!!

Hi J.,
I put my daughter in day care at 6 months old and she didn't do so well. They have a ratio 4:1, which means 1 or 2 babies go with out attention. I noted that they often held the same babies, and never never walked in to find them holding my baby. Soon, they failed to feed her jarred food, which as it turned out was because they were short in staff. I just feel a commercial day care is not the place for such little babies. I searched for the right home day care and placed her there, where she stayed until she was 20 months. She is back in a commercial pre school and she loves it. I couldn't be more happy with the choice to move her to home daycare until a better age. I know of a few home day cares in the Summerlin and NLV area. Let me know if you will need some information because I interveiwed a few or know someone in NLV.

Hi Jennifer! Not to prawl, but I read your request and the comment that you received about your chid not feeding. I am looking to watch two children in my home where they can get all the attention they need. Let me know if it doesn't work out for you. I have 6+ years experience w/children. CPR certified & first aid. Thanks and good luck w/your little one.

Sounds like he is really having a hard time being away from you. Maybe he would do better at home with a nanny? Some babies don't function well with a lot going on around them. Maybe he finds it too distracting too eat. Is there a quiet room they can take him to eat? When my son was 7 months old he would only nurse if I took him back into a quiet room my daughter was like that too.

Hi J. -
I removed my son from a daycare where that was occuring and found another place that he liked. Your son either doesn't like something or someone at the daycare, or he's just way too young to be there in the first place.

Good luck, L.

I understand things from the caregiver point of view. Ihad a girl the same age when I was babysitting that did the same things and I tried everything (even a few things mom asked me not to) but after about three or four days of this she gave in and realized that I only gave certain things (bottle not breast, food not milk...) and that it was ok and soon she was refusing the breast and was gaining weight. Mom had particular ideas on how she wanted things but finally realized that some times the caregiver has to do what works even when that means things mom doesn't really like. The little girl I babysat was much happier after I initiated things and she developed quickly. Please allow them to try what they need to to make their job more successful and help your son learn that mom does things one way but that when he is at daycare he has to do things their way too. I am sorry if that was babbly I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone and that it may take some learning and discovery to make this situation work out and it may mean you giving in a little about what you had planned to happen in this situation.

I couln't tell from your post whether your baby is eating fine at home but just not at daycare? It could be an ear infection or something that a doctor could troubleshoot. I wouldn't switch daycares or make any rash decisions until a doctor ruled other things out.
Good luck!

Dear J., is this his first time at day care? This is a big change for any child. I went through the same thing when I put my then 6 month old in a day care center and for me the solution was in-home day care, where he could get more attention in a home setting. Your son will adjust to this change, though. Good luck to you.

I had the exact same thing happen with my daughter with the bottle, I had tried giving her a sippy cup on day thought she was to small & tried returning the bottle after days of not eating I gave her the sippy cup again just to see. She took it & never went to the bottle again. I don't even think she was quite 6mnths. My sister-in-law would only drink from straw try one of these. For the daycare thing i am sorry no helpp there

J.,
If you are at peace with the daycare, then be at peace.

The one who feeds (usually "Mommy") a child is his/her "God."

Your son has equated feeding with You. Thus, in his current mind, You are the one who makes his body stop hurting (fills it up) and comforts him, making him feel warm, safe and secure.

I have a daycare/preschool in my own home. I recently was on the other end of this situation. Nearly two months ago a 7-month-old beautiful girl was brought to me. She had never known anyone but mom and dad. Not even another child.

She did eat a little from me, but would not take a bottle.
She cried (screaming part of the time) for much of the first four weeks. Sometimes she would be calm as I was holding her in my arms and she would look up into my face, see that I was not "mommy" and go back into fear and panic.

Her whole entire world--everything that she knew and had experienced!--had been shaken by a greater "earthquake" than the physical world can produce.

She gradually equated my arms and face, the other children, crib and toys, etc. with a feeling of safety and peace.

She now cooes joyfully and bounces with a huge smile on her face every morning as her mother drives her to my house and exchanges her arms for mine.

No one will ever replace a "mommy" for a young child.

But, your child will adjust.

You can help by exuding the emotion of confidence and firmness AND YOUR CONSTANT LOVE. If he knows that it's okay with you, he will more quickly make the adjustment that this new situation will be okay for him, too. If he senses your lack of confidence, this will throw him further.

K.
____@____.com

We had a similar problem with my 1 year old when he swiched teachers at daycare. I think the kids need to get adapted and that mey be part of the problem. The other part was that the food we fed him at home was very different from the one at daycare; so we decided to send some food to the daycare in order to help our kid find something familiar. It is also a good idea to introduce them a blankie or a pacifier that they can take to daycare and have at home, so they can feel some sense of security. After all, your little one needs to get used to the fact that you'll be back to pick her up in the afternoon. Until he gets adapted, it will be a little hard, but I hope it all goes well.
A..

I would definitely find a new center! I would give them your notice, which could be as much as three weeks, and then find him a home daycare where the ratios are lower. You do not have to keep him in the center that long, just pay for it. I would see how he does in another week while at that center and then make your final decision, but give them your notice now. He obviously is not getting the attention he needs when he is eating. They might even be propping the bottle, which often happens in daycare settings. If he is not used to this, he could be refusing the bottle and food.

It can take a few weeks for a child to adjust to a new situation, but since he is so young, I wouldn't take the wait and see approach for more than two weeks. Good luck!