Oh, the big preschool question!
so here goes...My daughter turned 3 in June (so not a super young 3) and started preschool early September. The issue is she HATES going...well, she HATES being dropped off anyway(she is usually quite happy when I pick her up but I think it is more that we are going home than that she enjoyed school!)... she clings to my neck, pleads with me not to take her in, etc. Apparently the crying usually stops within 5 minutes but her teacher just informed me today that she clings to the teacher for the entire 3 hours she is there (it is 3 hours, 2 days a week). She gets teary if the teacher needs to leave the room or can't be with her...the teacher has gone above and beyond in trying to care for her and reassure her but also as 15 other kids to take care of!! Apparently she doesn't engage or initiate conversations with other children, she only plays if they first invite her...
All that said, it's not like i've sheltered her...she has been left with babysitters, sometimes multiple times a week, since she was born, has gone to Sunday school classes and even structured playtimes without problem...she is just not in her element at school...I think she is overwhelmed...and quite honestly, she seems to be one of the only ones feeling this way!
Do I just take her out for the year and wait till next year...there is part of me that feels she is just a sensitive child and that just because society is pushing preschool earlier and earlier does not mean that it benefits all kids... and then there is part of me listening to everyone else that she needs the social interaction and stimulation!!!
Any other mommas out there who have had similar situations....sometimes I feel if I'm blessed to be able to be at home anyway, why not just let her be home for one more year?!
How long has she been there? If it's been since the beginning of September, I would maybe take her out and try again in January or wait for next year. Have you checked into other preschools? Not saying anything is wrong with that one, but it may not be THE one. Maybe she would be more comfortable in a smaller group?
Good luck!
Hi L., Im not real sure on what you should do ...but in a couple of weeks i'll be in the same boat and may be able to be more helpful. My son is 3 as of May so they are about the same age. He is starting school a week from today (3 mornings a week) he has never been to a daycare or anything except at the gym for like an hour. He is SUPER sensitive and dosn't know how to really play with other children. He stays away from them if they are around. I am so scared he will be that way at school.
My advice is, it hasn't been that long yet...maybe give it another month and see if it gets better. Alot of the places I talked to said alot of times 2 days a week is just not enough time for kids to get use to there is too much time between days...I don't know how true that is or if they just want you to spend more $$$..lol...but it kinda of made since to me..maybe adding her one more day a week would help? But I would just keep her were she is for another month Im sure she will get better....I may be asking this same question in a couple of weeks!!!
Good Luck!
I have a sensitive girl and this would not have gone over well with her. We started with a toddler program that introduced parents leaving gradually, going at the child's pace and gradually gaining confidence in their surroundings, their teachers, and growing into the school environment. Most kids do one year; we did two before she went to preschool. Now, at three almost four, she RUNS to school and I have a hard time getting her to leave: Its wonderful!
You know your daughter best, but this is her first intro to school. Since you asked: ) I would take her out. Socialization will come and does not need to be pushed. She is letting you know she needs adult attention (you, teacher) and peer interaction will come when SHE is ready. Unless you live under a rock: ), she is getting socialized by being with you and watching how you interact.
Also sounds like it IS too much stimulation. My daughter still has a hard time with loud noises or other kids in her space, but developmentally she can handle it. She really could not without my reassurance just one year ago.
She sounds like a completely normal, sensitive child. Please go with YOUR gut and not what others recommend... including me!!
Jen
How do YOU do when you take her in? Could she picking up on your issues?
My son's preschool really emphasizes "Yay, you're giong to have so much fun" Kiss and Goodbye. (Although I'm in the opposite boat and I usually have to beg my son for a goodbye kiss he's so excited to go).
Have you tried giving her a "task" for the day? Ask her to paint/color you a picture/play with a certain toy so she can tell you about it when you get home.
Is there a class pet? Ask the teacher if she can take a treat for the class pet (my son's school has a guniea pig and one of his classmates needs the guinea pig to make her feel comfortable, lol).
My personal feeling on taking her out - only do it if you REALLY think that she wouldn't have the same issues in the future. Do you think if you put her in PS next year she'd be fine? What are you going to do to make sure there's a difference?
Good luck!
