I'm a single mom of 3 with full custody and a large old house and yard with no budget for any cleaning help and no family in my state.....so you can imagine I'm a tad behind at all times...the kid's dad travels 99% of the year and does not help with ANYTHING unless he's visiting and that presents its own challenges.. BUT I don't work! Thank god. I don't know who would do EVERYTHING if I did. From house work to yard work to finances to EVERY SINGLE KID THING EVERY DAY (yes, I've been house-bound for days on end with three vomiting kids while I had to call a friend to drop off groceries...a FEW TIMES). My kids are 8, 6 and 5.
All any of us can do is balance what we HAVE to do and what we CAN do and go with that. It's hard to find the balance when you're a hard worker to begin with with high expectations for yourself.
After a few years of denial and pretending I could do it all, which was slowly killing me, I had to let go of some things. Some hard things. But this year is much better than last year.
I pulled my kids from Tae Kwon Do this year. I told myself it's temporary. We needed to financially to met another goal. But the time it has opened up has been life changing. I used to take them all 4 afternoons per week and to many Saturday events. Gone. Phew. But it hurts when they say they miss it and point out the belts they aren't achieving :( My older two were REALLY advanced and great at it compared to classmates. Ugh. Sad, but I just can't manage it right now.
I used to homeschool. Had to put them in public school this year. So I have time to actually manage the house better among other things I have to do to edge back into work force..plus we want to move and I have to prepare the house... I don't love their less advanced curriculums now, but I take an hour to read to them every night from the history materials (which combine geography, science, vocabulary, religion and art all in one) we used to use. It's become a great way to spend time together at night without TV and such after dinner. I also listen to them practice their instruments after dinner. Whether the house is clean or not.
I have to say no to way more events and favors than I was before. Sometimes it's REALLY hard when you want to be a helpful good person. But you have to say no.
And lots of times I do have to breath and remember: The kids can do it. When I feel like the whole house is in shambles, I say, "OK, kids, clean up your rooms. In one half hour whatever is out of place I will collect in a garbage bag and give away." Voila, their rooms get done. WITHOUT MY HELP. Then I put them all on living room and toy room duty. Voila done except for little perfecting touches I still need to do. That leaves me with the kitchen and the laundry. Manageable. I taught my oldest how to do bathrooms.
So anyway, your list will be different, and we all need to make clearer schedules, but that's it. You WILL always be too busy. You WILL always be behind, but you CAN improve things somewhat, and you ARE NOT alone :)