Too Much Dessert?

Would my mom have served two desserts in one day? Probably not. Would she have allowed me to have two desserts at a party? Yeah, no problem. Do I let my kids eat too much dessert sometimes? Yes, as long as they eat reasonably healthy meals most of the time it isn't really an issue for me.

It's one day. No, I wouldn't have cared. My kids ate a healthy diet, took good care of their teeth, never had a cavity. I didn't serve daily desserts at home, so on a special occasion, I did not care if they overindulged. It was a party. I saw school parties where there were cookies, cupcakes and Munchkins, and kids could take whatever they wanted.

We don't have any rules about eating sweets except not too close to an upcoming mealtime, but that would be with any snack. We have packages of cookies that have been in the pantry for months, candy from Halloween and Easter for that matter (ick, time to throw it out!). My kids like sweets, eat them in moderation, but control themselves because that is who will have to do it when I'm not around. Sometimes they will eat the cake AND ice cream, sometimes not. We don't have a formal dessert on an everyday basis.

After witnessing my husband and twin SIL's ordeal with a mother who obsessed with not letting them have sugar, I took the opposite approach. I let my kids have it almost anytime they want, except before dinner. My husband and SIL's eat sweets like they are never going to be able to eat them ever again. Both SIL's have eating disorders because of how limited they were eating sugar as kids & my husbands sweet tooth is disgusting.

It has worked great for our family. For example my kids have each eaten 8 pieces of their halloween candy. My kids choose broccoli & carrots over fries. My kids rather have sushi than McDonalds. I have a cabinet of candy from Halloween & Easter. Majority of it sits in the cabinet and I toss it out after each holiday to make room for the new candy.

It doesn't bother me when parents overindulge with sweets at a party. What really bothers me is when parents worry about making a party healthy. Personally I like a variety of things at a party such as fruits, and veggies because my kids mostly eat the veggies.

So no, I don't cringe when my kids eat more than one dessert because it rarely ever happens on their own accord.

At a party I am not the sugar police. We don't make a big deal of limiting sugar in general though. We teach a healthy respect for what is too much but we don't go insane forbidding it or anything.
My kids themselves will look at some of the huge portions they are offered and think they are too big and don't end up eating all of it naturally because it's too much for them. But, if they do gorge themselves now and again I don't get all freaked out about it.

You don't get fat from one day's treats. We don't have dessert other than fruit most days, but unless they were going to parties every week, I don't think I'd be that strict on a special occasion like that.

But here's what I don't understand - if you believe in your approach, why does it matter what anyone else does or thinks? Sometimes questions like this are really just judgment traps.

You only teach gluttony if you are gluttonous. Eating a big dessert at a party? Not gluttony, indulgence and celebration.

I'm sure most of the dessert was thrown away. Did you check? In my experience, young kids, especially preschoolers, only eat what they can.

I'm with Veruca, this is a judgement question. You do things differently, and that's OK, but there is no right answer here. There are families that eat dessert and candy every day that are as thin as sticks, there are other families that eat veggies and fruit all day long and are heavy.

It was a party, that's sort of making a kid choose either cake OR ice cream. I'd let them eat it and enjoy the heck out of it. I'm sure they were having a good time and it's not every day.

I probably would have been more worried about the kids acting a little sugared up then crashing in a mega grouchy way and /or barfing in my car on the way home, than being worried they would grow up fat.

it has been my experience what while they probably eat more than they should ( since no one anywhere needs a cupcake ever), kids at parties often discard more than half of their desserts. All the cute themed things end up in the trash along w the cake part of the cupcake and all the gross melty icecream.

sometimes I think that unspoken message that people aren't worthy unless they are slim, sneaks in places we don't realize. you post would have still made it's point without calling out your unfortunate cousins.

Yes I hear you. My mom hardly ever let us have treats. She definitely never purchased them. no sodas, no chips, Candy that was given to us was a treat. We hid it so we could keep it.

Guess who gorged the moment she started earning her own money? Babysitting,, I would treat myself to ice cream. And then in College.. Yep.. Could not get enough..

For our daughter I did moderation.. But on Halloween night I let her eat as much candy as she wanted.. It was usually about 3 pieces. I let her keep her candy in her room and a few weeks, she might eat one a day.. sometimes take a bite and throw the rest away.. , later when she was not eating it anymore I threw the rest away, she never noticed.

Same with Easter and Christmas..

She knew what it felt like to eat too many sweets. She learned the difference between cheap chocolate and really delicious good quality chocolate.

But I never told her no, because she really never asked for it and the few times she did, it was just usually a small portion and then she would say, "done".

She has never cared for Icing on cake, so she usually did not want the icing. She liked ice cream and would eat it, but not her favorite.

But at Thanksgiving we usually have a table full of pies, and other baked goods.. We go for it, but then we are done for a long time.

Birthday Cake and ice cream? Not a big deal..
It is a treat, it is a celebration.. It is not every day, every week even every month..

Not a battle I waged..

it would never occur to me that cake and ice cream at a kids' party is 'teaching gluttony.'
it's a kids' party.
khairete
S.

Cake and ice cream. Perfect IMO.

I do cringe, but I figure it's only once in a very great while (like I know she's got uncles who sneak her extra cookies at Christmas) that I don't think it will hurt in the long run. My daughter, when given choices, will generally make the healthy choice. Like today at a restaurant she picked carrots over french fries and the waitress couldn't get over it.

In situations like the one you were in, I would usually share the dessert with her. We frequently share cake at birthday parties.

I don't like my kids having more than one dessert in a day (and we don't have dessert every day.... ok, they don't but I do!), but I do make exceptions at parties. I think that, at birthday parties, cake and ice cream go together and I don't consider it overboard. I think one piece of cake and one scoop of ice cream is good - I do think two scoops plus whipped cream and a cone is a bit much if there is cake too. However, since the party was AT an ice cream place, I'm not surprised at all.

I can see both sides. Normally, I wouldn't want a cupcake and an ice cream sundae, but I would be ok with a cupcake and a single scoop. I'd make an exception though for a party that was at an ice cream shop. I never let my kids have a second piece of cake/cupcake though.

we don't go to parties all that often. Maybe 3-4 per year. On those rare occasions, I do let my kids have some extra desserts because I do limit things like that the rest of the time. I have no problem though with your thoughts about it :)

It was a party, not a lifestyle choice. And I imagine the kids didn't eat it all, right? Even my kids, who love sweets as much as anyone else, wouldn't have finished all that.
So no, I wouldn't cringe, because our family eats really well, and treats are just that, TREATS, not a part of our regular diet.

When we had cake at home as a kid, it was almost always served with ice cream.

To this day, if I'm at a family gathering and take some cake OR ice cream but not both, people ask if I knew there was the other. Heh. Weddings in my family often have ice cream to go with the wedding cake!

If you ask any of them, cake+ice cream = one dessert.

But no, I don't think junk at a kids party teaches gluttony. Gluttony is something that would be a problem on a daily basis. Too many sweets at the occasional party teaches that these things are simply treats, fine to have at a celebration, but not something you do as a way of life.

Cake and ice cream are like peanut butter and jelly, they go together...lol. I don't think it's a big deal if your kids are served a ton of sugar at a party. If its not something you do in your home and happens on occasion than I don't see the issue. If you don't want your kids to eat that much, and you are there, simple let them eat some then tell them it's enough and take it away. But frankly, there are bigger battles to fight IMO. Good luck.

The candy bar/dessert bars are out of control. I think people (moms) get carried away looking at pinterest and copy these amazing set ups.

I do not think the goal is to eat the candy decor as much as it is for show. I watched some 'Cribs' show and a daughter of a star had huge candy jars. She would get pissed if someone actually ate the candy since it was on her desk to add color.

edit: There are usually b-day parties every week, sometimes 2 back to back. Now that my son is older he does not get invited to as many parties. My daughter does though (preschool).

I'm with you, that's waaaayyyyy too much food and I bet most it was unfinished. I serve small sliced of cake and Hoodsies at parties and let the kids know that they can come back for more if they want. Very few kids do and many don't eat the cake and/or ice cream anyway.

Totally agree. Is it horrible and they're all going to grow up fat bc of it? Of course not but it's also just not necessary. Maybe some people aren't invited to a lot of parties but we are so it does add up. I had one mom serve cake and ice cream and jello. Way way too much. I just don't get it or the idea that it's my child's party so every other child should indulge like it's the biggest day of the year. I never stopped my kids but I would sometimes swipe some of the gobs and gobs of icing off. Fortunately my kids seem to have learned some moderation so I think mentioning after parties like that how it was too much dessert to be healthy and eating like that often is really bad for you pays off. My kids indulge and all but at least have an off switch that I think some kids don't. But yeah. I agree it was too much. Kids would have been plenty happy with much less.

More than anything, I think it's silly of the hosting mother to have a party at an ice cream parlor and BRING cupcakes when dessert is clearly PART of the party. My son probably would have turned down the cupcake if he knew ice cream was coming because he would have assumed he could only have one or the other, but really, at a party, just let it go...

You teach your kid healthy habits every day. They won't be undone at one party. Funny story, we were grabbing lunch at a soup and sandwich place. He got chili and they asked if he wanted bread or chips. "What kind of chips are they?" they guy told him just plain potato chips. "You don't have any of the chips made from dried apple slices? I'll just have bread then I guess." I love him.

It does sound like a lot, but in my experience with my own kids and with kids at parties we have gone to, kids don't eat it all. At both of my kids' last birthday parties I think I threw away just as much uneaten cake as there was eaten cake. I don't think a single kid ate all of the cake they got and I gave them small servings. I try to limit what I offer to one thing. Usually cake because we tend to have outdoor parties and the ice cream would melt before it was time to eat it. However, we have also done a piñata with candy or themed candy in small amounts.

If you teach your kids to limit what they eat, they won't over do it. We still have candy from Halloween and Christmas. I just threw out candy from Easter and the previous Halloween, Christmas, and Valentines day. I got busted eating a huge chocolate bar that one of my kids got at Christmas. She took it, took about two bites and told me I could have the rest. All of this candy is in easy reach for my kids. But when it comes to a snack or a treat, they prefer fruit or cheese and crackers. That is what we offer first.

I think most parents who offer a lot at parties are doing it because it is a special occasion. Most people I know only do that for birthdays and if it is just a couple of times a year (or even just once a month) they don't see it as a big deal. Teach your kids to eat in moderation, even if more if offered. Teach your kids that it is ok to indulge once in awhile for special occasions, not every day. They will turn out ok.

I totally agree however, my son never had a sweet tooth, thank God, so this isn't an issue with our son.......unless they served steak and crunchy pickles as a party treat.

I have a few friends who are preschool teachers and they would completely agree with you. Little kids don't need a lot of sugar. But they also understand when little kids do get special treats, it makes them very happy, so those teachers approve of it being served during special occasions like birthday parties.

But you are right - its no secret and very obvious that obesity seems to start younger and younger every year.

As long as it's a special occasion, only at parties kind of thing, it's ok. At home I don't even serve dessert, so when they have a chance to indulge, I let them.

At parties I've hosted, I usually do small bowls of M&Ms on the table in addition to cake and ice-cream, but I also ALWAYS have fruit and veggie trays. I keep expecting to see the kids go crazy with the sweets and leave the healthy stuff behind, but each time, I'm happy to say, the kids go for the celery sticks as much as the M&Ms. Maybe, instinctively, they crave balance.

I would have been okay with it, but I never would follow that suit when hosting.

No. Growing up, the dessert, or something sweet was regularly available. Sunday dinners at an aunt, grandmas etc would end with ice cream, we had soda at the table, and there wasn't just one, but several desserts to choose from/ have with no restrictions. Also, we were given money to go to the local candy store and have some more.

I have the good fortune/ good sense to abide by my stomach and get put off by too much food, even my favorites. Hubs on the other hand can gain weight by looking at food, and has a sweet tooth that will have him polishing off a bag of chocolates in one day (a few at a time till they are gone).

To oblige hubs, I limit the number of treats I keep in the house. Were it up to me alone, we'd have multiple desserts on the go daily. Life is short, we are blessed, and there is nothing wrong with pie and ice cream as such.

Best,
F. B.

I usually do cupcakes or a piece of cake (about 2" square), and a ready cup of ice cream. I'm all about single servings. Some kids eat just the cake, some just the ice cream.

Well, it's a birthday party, cake AND ice cream is expected, they go together. Maybe the cone was over the top but I bet the majority of the kids didn't eat the whole thing anyway. Even if they did, it's one day.