Too Much Change for a 2 Year Old?

Kids are resiliant as someone else said. At 21 mos my daughter got a new baby brother, at 2 years old we moved here to Phoenix from Oregon, through the end of the year, August-January she went through 2 different care providers. January through April a new environment but same provider, March-we moved into a new house, May through June another and now another new one. She is doing amazing, although we still have not potty trained her, but that's more because she isn't ready than anything. She has been through A LOT of change and really I couldn't ask for her to be a better 2 year old little girl. Don't get me wrong she is a challenge, but I don't think anymore than any other kid. I wouldn't worry about the change so much and if she regresses a little on the potty thing, no worries, she'll do it when she's ready! Good luck with the move!

Hey E.,

Okay, first I want to say that although I have a tendency to post honest, and often strong, opinions, I am sorry that someone felt they had the right to question your decision to have another child when you aren't "established." Pretty presumptuous in my opinion. Second, although children are resilient, it is important to be honest with yourself about what you feel your daughter can handle right now, because it is a lot of change all at once, and some children are more sensitive to transitions than others. I know this from personal experience with our 4 year old. My husband fought cancer for almost 2years and we knew that she was definitely being affected but didn't realize how much until he regained his health. So, that being said, I'd forego the potty training unless she's showing real interest in it independent of your desire for her to be potty trained,and I'd go for the big girl bed, knowing that she may leave her bed at anytime to join you in yours. If you can handle that without doing anything ridiculous like locking her in her room, I'd say go for it. However, another option, and the one that might cause you the least amount of stress and work, oh pregnant one, is to just sit tight with things the way they are and start talking about what changes are coming up in the future with your daughter, instead of just instituting them when you've got so much else going on. By the way, what does your mom think about it all? Sometimes they do know best, even when we hate to admit it.

Good luck,and godspeed!

Al

I'd wait until you're settled in your new home (after moving out of your MIL's) before pottytraining, and I agree with someone's advice to switch her to a bed now and bring the same "special" sheets. That way it's not so much change at once, and plus she won't feel kicked out of the crib for the new baby. I transitioned my son to a new bed a few months before the baby was born so he wouldn't feel like the baby kicked him out, and so it was less change all at once. Yes, kids are resilient, but we want to make it as stable and easy on them as possible so they thrive.

So, you're moving back to Utah to 'get established.' Maybe you should try and get 'established' before you have any more children??? But, as far as your 2 year old is concerned, I think it's a great idea to get her involved with the process of choosing her own bedding. I did that with my daughter and had no problem transitioning her to her 'big girl bed.' She was 18 - 20 months when we made the change, as I needed the crib for a new baby. I think the emphasis on the fact that it was a big girl bed really helped.

We moved a full size bed into my daughter's room when she was 23 1/2 months old but still kept the crib in her room as well. We planned to continue putting her down for naps and bedtime in the crib until she asked otherwise. It was only a matter of a couple of days before she started saying "No, not that one...That one" and pointing to her new 'Big Girl Bed'. I left the crib set up for almost a month just in case we had any regression, but she wanted no part of it once she was in her "Big Girl Bed". I would definitely hold off on the potty training. You can dabble in it when she shows interest but I wouldn't put too much pressure on her. Trust me, I can totally relate. My daughter's daycare moved her into the two year room at 23 1/2 months as well, which put pressure on us as parent's to potty train her. She's done great, but I was also 8 months pregnant at the time and didn't have the energy or desire to be consistent so she's still, after 3 months at it, only 95% potty trained. She has accidents when she 'gets too busy'. So, like your daughter, she had a lot of changes come at her all at the same time. A new room at daycare, a Big Girl Bed, and a new baby brother. Good luck with the move and whatever you decide to do. Kids are resilient; she will give you all the necessary signals :o).

Kids are resilient and can take a lot, but it would be better if it were one thing at a time. Can you borrow a bed for her to get used to before you move? Pick out her sheets, etc. now and take them with you so that there is familiarity. Don't start the potty training until you've been there long enough for her to be comfortable at her new home. She may regress with all the changes. 1st-bed, 2nd-move, 3rd-baby, 4th-potty training. Make sure she is happy with each change before starting another. Good luck!

First: Good luck on the move!

Like the other's have mentioned, I would hold off on 'getting serious' about potty training until you have 'established' in your new home. You could certainly give her the option - have a small toilet for her, use the pull ups since she can put those on herself, especially since you have already started it.

You also go on to mention that Grandma has beds your daughter can use, is she going to be able to possible take one of the beds when you move to your own home? This could make it an easier transition at the time by making it a special gift from Grandma and as you mentioned, allowing her to choose her very own set of sheets. Perhaps Grandma even has a special blanket just for her to welcome her.

As for helping with the move, since it is so close to the that time, see if you can find pictures to download of the area. And talk about what is happening, if you have pictures of Grandma and her house - even better. Make her a small album and let her see the house. You mentioned you stayed with Grandma before - even better if you have pictures of her in the environment you could put together. Then when she gets there, she will already feel at home there. This would work for both your oldest and the soon to be middle child.

We do this with my daughter all the time as we don't see either set of grandparents often, but we have pictures everywhere and my daughter has several albums of family members. At a recent reunion, it took my daughter no time be comfortable going to my parents immediately - even half asleep like she was.

Good luck!

I would recommend waiting on the potty training. I know that it would be much cheaper for you with only two in diapers, but in my experience she will regress in the potty training if there are too many things going on. We moved while both of my children were potty training and my son took to it fine since he 'claimed' his own bathroom at the new house, but my daughter regressed. She was 95% potty trained when we moved into our new house, and then she started going in her panties again. She eventually gained back her ability to potty in the toilet, but it took another three-four weeks. We are still working on the bed situation since we moved, as both children are insecure and want to be with us the entire night. Take it slow and feed off of her cues. Her behavior will let you know if she can't handle the stress. Let her try the bed and, yes, make it a special thing. Try the new sheets, a special pillow, etc. to make her feel like it is her own. Once she is sleeping soundly in her bed and staying there, move onto potty training. I wish you the best in all you do and wish for a safe move. We are in your same situation and we are thinking about moving too! We are ready for a fresh start! Good luck!