omg please let there be someone out there who understands what I feel like... My husband is constantly grabbing and making comments about @#$... Yes I should feel great that after 10 years there is still that spark.. But after 2 children (girls at that) I am starting to feel cheap, like that is all I am good for. What happened to the romance, the kissing etc.. why only what he want, when he wants and how...I stay home all day and take care of the kids and volunteer at school and clean house, would it be too much to ask for some respect.... am I over reacting? Is there something wrong with me...
my husbands boy toy
I don't know what to say other than that I am in in the same boat...feel the same way. Nothing like feeling like one giant boob LOL :)
Yes be very excited that your husband is turned on. Men just do that. He is letting you know he still is very interested, no disrespect is going on. To him he is paying you a compliment. Grab his behind and he will be over the moon. There's nothing wrong with you. You have little children climbing and touching you all day long you are done by the time your husband gets home and need to be untouched. Be gentle with him when you approach this subject with him. Men may act like they are all strong and have big egos but they are insecure and their egos are made out of glass and easily shattered. Especially when it comes to you and how he makes you feel.
My husband is the same way! When we were dating- AND before we had our son, I thought it was cute. NOW I think it is totally gross. I GET SUPER PISSED at him when he tries to touch me or says inappropriate things in front of our 18 month old son. I told my husband to save it for later...I still have to remind him constantly of that. Good luck, I really have not come up with a way to get around this.
First I am ROFLMAO about your "a little about me" description!! I tell my dh that I lost 5 IQ points for each kid for each year and am officially too stupid to talk now.
Now, onto your issue. You need to talk to him. Make a list of things you want to do with him - bike rides, walks, watching movies, playing Scrabble, etc. Tell him that you love that he still finds you attractive but that you just need to know it's about more then just sex. That you want to do these things on the list too, and that you don't want to feel obligated to do the deed every time he asks.
Hugs.
N.
You are not alone. My husband seems to think foreplay is grabbing my breast and squeezing! I have actually started smacking him. We both have a decent sense of humor so we've been able to deal with it without hurting feelings. Sometimes, I've found - we have to be so direct with men. I tell him - if you want to get it on - I'd like to feel romantic - let me take a bath and shave and then try kissing me a few times before you grab my boob!!!
I think you are one lucky woman!
Maybe if you asked him to turn the comments and grabbing into taking care of the kids and suggesting you take some time to yourself to relax and then have time for him after he puts the kids to bed every now and then? Or just saying... mmmm....that sounds fabulous. Get the kids to bed while I go run a bubble bath. I will see you in an hour.
Is that what you are looking for? I think you would be heartbroken if he just stopped. I know I would. I also know that if I skip a week, I am like a camel, I can go for a month without it! If I give it freely on a daily or almost daily basis, I find I have more need than I thought!
Maybe just asking for some romance would help!
I feel the same way too. And in a way it's nice to know I am not the only one in this situation. For me, I have been pregnant and/or nursing since 2004, so It's been years since I've had my body to myself.
My husband keeps telling me to talk to my Dr. about it cause he thinks something is wrong with me (imagine that) My doctor says its SO normal. The only thing I can suggest is set up boundries that you both can agree with. Such as have a real date night once a month or only discussing how you feel once the kids are in bed. Find what will work for the two of you. And NO I don't think you are overreacting!
K.
ok youre over worked and underpaid (lol). men are like boys at times when it comes to _ _ _. you feel like you rasing 3 kids instead of 2. let him know in a sexy kinda way that he'll get some when he does these things (your list). try this " no squeezing without a kiss first". you know what to say. also you know what time big daddys coming home to momma, so you might want to get the kids settled so that you alls time dosen't run interferance with the kids times. me Im quite the opposite. when daddy comes home I'm ready to pounce,I need some adult time, but daddys too stressed or tired from his ALL day job, now i'm the one who needs too much attention. i learned to get the kids settled, and help him to unwind and relax for a minute by doing what ever he wants to do at the time THEN I POUNCE. So try letting him konw IN A LOVING AND SEXY WAY what your needs are and be sure to let him know you'll gladly reward him for his assistance and hearing you out.
