"Toileting" Problems at Beach/pool

Updated on July 20, 2010
E.R. asks from Milford, PA
15 answers

I'm not quite SURE what to do about the following. My daughter is 4 & 8 months old. This month she's had 2 accidents at the pool. Apparently she waits too long or can't pick-up on the bodily signals or she does and does nothing about it. She then gets some poop in her bathing suit and it's an ordeal in a public bathroom to try to clean her and the bathing suit etc. I've told her repeatedly she has to pay attention to her body and how she feels ...not to wait and she WILL get to go back in. I've NEVER punished her in any way being that it's a bodily function, she's young and I've never wanted her to associate anything negative to losing control but she's getting a little old for this. This also happened at the beach once and that was REAL hairy....port-o-potty was the only thing around. It can also prove to be embarassing, not to mention unhealthy for her and all others. She threw-up in pool and it was CLOSED DOWN. Any suggestions? This does NOT happen all of the time.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I would stop taking her to the public pool, it's really not okay to expose others to this. That's the simple solution. At almost five, she should be able to get to the bathroom but if she's having too much fun to do this, then the fun needs to come to an end. She isn't a toddler anymore, and if she's not losing control but simply waiting too long and not using the bathroom, then she's making a bad choice and there needs to be a consequence - particularly when the action is unhealthy for others. Time to learn about responsibility for her actions.

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C.X.

answers from Dallas on

My son is 5. We have a pool in our backyard. ONCE he waited too long and got a little in his swimsuit. We shocked the pool to be safe... I wouldn't have felt comfortable not treating the pool knowing we have guests often. Then we changed the rules. He is not allowed to swim if he hasn't tried to go. If it happens again, he won't be allowed to swim (for whatever period we decide on). Period. At 4-5 yrs of age they should get that. I believe they just don't want to take the break from the fun and they must learn the consequences for not taking the time to properly relieve themselves. The health and safety of others depends on it.
As far as the safety of public pools and the health of others, any potty accident or vomiting should be reported. It is probably very embarrassing to do so, but most families/moms have been through this and should be understanding. It happens.

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H.B.

answers from Chicago on

My son was 4 years old when we let him play Play Station 2. He loved the bmx and atv game. Well we had a handful of accidents while he was playing the game. I came to the conclusion that he thought he could just ignore it or hold it longer. I constantly had to remind him that if he has to go to pause the game and he can come back. He grew out of it during that year and has better self control now. The excitement just gets the best of you.
Since this has happened more than once, I think frequent trips to the rest room are needed if she's taking in a lot of water or hasn't pooped yet. All that moving in the water can get things in the body moving.

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A.S.

answers from New York on

For kids, living life is too much fun to take a bathroom break! Make sure she goes before you leave home. And (I agree with another responder) take her out periodically for bathroom breaks (time it - every few hours). Also watch to see if she is jumping/squirming around trying to hold it, while continuing to play. If she is terrified of port-o-potties then leave to go home early or go out to a restaurant for a snack. (If you are terrified of port-o-potties, they really are not that bad. They do not smell anymore. Just bring wipes because there is never soap and sometimes no toilet paper, and also wipe the seat.)
They actually should also close the pool if she poops her pants in the pool as well (poop from anyone - regardless of age - contains bacteria that can make one sick). Bring an extra bathing suit if she get stuff in her bathing suit bottoms. Tell her that things will go better in life if she just takes the time to go potty when she first feels it and she can get right back to playing!

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R.M.

answers from New York on

To be perfectly frank, if she were having these accidents, which she cannot control, I would not take my daughter to the pool or the beach until she is a couple of years older. Deprivation? Not really. Many inland kids never see a pool or ocean until they are much older! Just do water-play in the backyard if you have one, using the hose and maybe a kiddy-pool (supervised! I knew two children, one was 5 years old, who drowned in unsupervised 5 inches of water). If you don't have a yard where she can water-play, don't worry about it. Take her to the park with friends for a run-and-play picnic! Your daughter at this age seems to be either distracted at the beach/pool, or is perhaps made slightly nervous by the activities there (her throwing up in the pool might be a sign of this). Some children, (my own included), are not totally in control of their eliminatinon track until they reach kindergarten. Don't call attention to it and don't tell her why you are eliminating beach/pool activities. Tell her you just think she would be enjoy it more when she is a bigger girl, and tell her you are going to do some more fun things during the summer, as an "experiment", to see what other fun things there are to do (are there any theme parks nearby?), and that she WILL be back in the pool when she is a "big 6-year old girl, and that that time will come soon!" Don't make problems for yourself, as this will soon pass and in a year or so, she will be accident-free in the water. Meanwhile, save yourself a lot of work and anxiety - not to mention pool contamination for other swimmers - by simply eliminating this type outing until she is just a bit older and can communicate with her own body more easily. She will, in the long run, never miss one or two years' absence from pool/beach activities, and you will be a happier mom for it! You sound like a good mom, BTW!

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B.B.

answers from Charleston on

I'd get the "Little Swimmers" swim diapers- I put him on my son-just in case. Glad to hear you're not being super neurotic about it, too. Reminds me of a local pool that has a sign that states" Swim diapers must be worn. Any fecal release into the pool will result in the immediate evacuation and closing of pool" I mean, gross as some people find it, it IS just a little kid's tiny poopie-I could totally see if it was some 300 lb biker, but I always give a little chuckle every time i read it!

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A.F.

answers from New York on

maybe she has a fear of public restrooms or the porto potty???

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S.P.

answers from New York on

We've had a big drama at our pool about swim diapers and swimming, so I've been doing a lot of research on this topic.

Swim diapers actually don't do all that much to contain the poop - less than you'd think. Also, if you are putting her back in diapers, that is a step back.

The CDC recommendation is to institute a potty break every 30 minutes to 1 hr, and to not allow your child to swim if they have diarrhea.

http://www.cdc.gov/healthywater/swimming/pools/swim-diape...
http://www.cdc.gov/healthywater/pdf/swimming/pools/preven...

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H.H.

answers from Hartford on

this is totally normal so I am glad you are not making a big deal/ embar. her more. great thinking. does she wear swim diapers? they suggest that for even fully trained potty kids bc it is harder while swiming to read signals and controll them. the pull ups will contain the poop, but they do let pee out (but at least that will not cause too much of a prob. bc sadly I think lots of people pee in pools LOL) I also keep a toddler toliet in my trunk! really I do, that way if my DD has to go pee and we are at a park whatever she can just sit on it in the parking lot in the trunk, I know not very private but she does not mind and she is young still so I dont think people would care too much if they saw her sitting there LOL. good luck. hope this helps!

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R.B.

answers from New York on

Well as a parent of a child who may swim in the pool you go to I beg you to put a swim diaper on her. She will learn really quick to listen to her body. Please do it for the health of the other swimmers.

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L.N.

answers from New York on

how long do you stay at the pool? take her potty right before you leave. time yourself, every 2 hrs ask her to go. actually not ask, take her to go. if she has a problem with public porta things (which i totally do) buy one of those potty to go which uses ziploc bags. take her somewhere private. and then just toss the ziploc bag. we go to the beach daily during summertime and we have yet to have problems. i use that potty on the go everywhere.

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B.A.

answers from New York on

Is she at all predictable in her bowel pattern (certain time of day or so much time after she eats.) I would have her go to the bathroom before you swim. definitely keep track of her BM's so you know if it's likely that she needs to go. I know she's a little older but you may need to resort to little swimmers if you can't figure it out for everyone's health and safety. This is so tricky good luck.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Accidents happen. Set up some rules about when she has to try to go to the bathroom (don't know if you can predict her behavior at all, but maybe after eating, or a half-hour after eating, after drinking juice, etc). It's frustrating as a parent when a potty-trained child starts having these accidents, and they do seem to be because the kid is having so much fun or is so engrossed in an activity that they wait wayyy too long, but most kids have this happen around you daughter's age. If, she's too resistant to the bathroom rules, you could always pull her out every hour or 2 to "reapply sunscreen", do this in the pool bathroom and then just say "while you are out do you want to try to go to the bathroom?" As for the beach, traveling with your own port-a-potty sounds like a good idea if you go to beaches without facilities. Good luck!

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J.D.

answers from New York on

Its a natural occurence at a public pool. If it were me I'd take my child out for bathroom breaks at regular intervals and just communicate with her that its important to pay attention to her body and take time out for the bathroom just like she would to eat, drink and apply sunscreen. As with any rule, if she is not going to take the time to do what is required of her then you have to leave the pool. Thats the rule with my son at the beach. Bathroom, sunscreen application, etc - if he doesn't want to do it then we leave. Diapers are ridiculous at her age. Haven't done any research but does Leaps and Bounds have anything that is more age appropriate? Its not like this happens everytime right? That website has a lot of creative products for kids!

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M.D.

answers from New York on

we always bring our "emergency potty" it's from fisher-price. It comes in a nice carry bag and you can use shoprite bags, etc. If is a life-saver. We keep it in the car all the time. So when we go to the park or beach we bring it with us.

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