Toilet Training Regression

Updated on October 18, 2010
A.T. asks from Suffield, CT
5 answers

I have 33 month old boy girl twins. My daughter has been toilet trained since May and my son since the end of August. Up until this week, maybe only 2 accidents since Labor Day, both with pee and he was quite upset after them. Beginning on Sunday, he has completely regressed. Several pee accidents, poop accidents, no tears or diappointment after them, just laughter. There have been no major life events that have happened. No transiitions, no new siblings, no preschool, no vacations. Nothing new. I am home full time with them. I do not want to go back to diapers or pull ups because he is 100% capable. He had set great store in being a "Big Boy" like his 5 year old brother but even that has lost its allure. ANy ideas as to why thiscould behappening or what to do about it? Just a phase?

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J.H.

answers from Clarksville on

I have boy girl twins that just turned 3. My daughter was potty trained at 2, my son at 2.5. We went through the same thing- doing absolutely great then all of a sudden he just stopped. No major life changes or anything, it was like he just got tired of messing with it. I didn't put him back in diapers or pullups because like you, i knew he was capable and I was bound and determined to ride it out! This lasted about a week and then, just as quick as he had stopped using the potty, he went right back to it. It only happened that one time and he has been doing great ever since ( i do still use pull ups at night on both). I still have no idea what happened or why he stopped all of a sudden, but it was just a phase and it did pass. Hang in there, he'll go right back to using the potty when he's ready.

Best Wishes!!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Its a phase...
Make sure though, he does not have any urinary infections.... maybe take him to the Doctor. Just to check.

Accidents WILL happen in any kid... but if this is a COMPLETE "regression"... a real regression occurs due to a child being stressed or something...
He has not been potty trained, that long. Only since August.
Boys are often later in pottying and not as "quick" as girls.... nor as mature about it.

But at night, diapers are still normal, at this age. Night time 'dryness' is not something attained until even 7 years old... and this is NORMAL and per physiological development. So keep day and night 'dryness' expectations, separate.

Or, often at this age as well, they just get SO busy with whatever they are doing... they don't want to "stop" playing or "think" they can hold it longer... but they can't. Then, an accident occurs. My Daughter's Preschool Teacher, when my daughter was that age, said the same thing.

Maybe.. .take him to the toilet... every so often... instead of waiting for HIM to do it.

all the best,
Susan

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

It's usually possible to ask a child of that age what's going on. You'll probably at least get a sense of where he is emotionally on the topic. Which might give you ideas about how best to support his needs. You may be able to convince him he'd do better using the potty, but this is really an area of development that must ultimately be in the child's control.

My guess is that he's still on the early end of success for boys, and he's realized that he's taken on a life-long "obligation," at which point many littles regress. When they are truly ready for training, both physically and emotionally, they'll pretty much go at it until they succeed, with the same persistence that they had for learning to walk or talk. And when that time arrives, training happens very quickly.

Yes, he's physically capable, but the emotional component is huge. And his accidents could have undermined his confidence that he's really up to the challenge. If he's laughing now, it could be sheer relief that he's let go of that anxiety. That he has taken control of a situation that may have been somewhat ominous, with it's ever-present potential for failure.

You could, at this point, make it a struggle, or you could leave it up to him to choose diapers for now, give it a few more weeks or months, and wait for him to decide he'd rather be trained, after all. You'll have a whole lot less cleanup to do, and he'll have the opportunity to come at this developmental milestone when he's really ready to take on the ongoing commitment. free of stress. Once he's convinced you won't try to pressure him into a task he doesn't want to do, or feels uncertain he can do, he may revert fairly soon to being a big boy like his brother.

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E.M.

answers from Boston on

my daughter trained at 3 yrs, 3 months and did great with it; almost no accidents once she decided to do it (last August). Then, when we were on vacation in March, she had several episodes of wetting accidents, which continued even after we were back home and back in our regular routine. I was ready to rip my hair out, I could not get any kind of answer out of her, but we just rode it out, and after what felt like a very long time, she went back to no accidents. Who knows what happened, I sitll don't know! But, I am so glad I didn't go back to pull -ups. My sister in law did, and her 3 1/2 yr old is still in diapers. I can't imagine that!

Good luck, whatever you decide to do for you and for your family!

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C.C.

answers from Boston on

There is a LOT of anxiety associated with this. The best woay is not to worrry, just talke to them gently about it and best not to not overdo the rhetoric.

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