I'm really frustrated with potty training, maybe you can help. My 25 month old daughter has great bladder and bowel control, loves her undies, loves her potty. Problem is she doesn't like to let go of pee and poop. She sits on the toilet about 25 times, every few minutes, before she finally goes. Each time she dances like it's an emergency but doesn't do anything. She cries when she needs to go, cries while she's holding it in, and cries when she goes either in toilet or on the floor. She knows the sensation of needing to go but holds it so long she finally has an accident. I'm having a hard time staying positive! Especially since she hasn't made any progress in the last 2 days. We have candy, cookies, suckers as incentives. Even with lots to drink she only peed 3 times today. Once in toilet twice on floor. I can't go anywhere when she needs to sit on toilet every 5 minutes. And I can't ignore her request to go. Also, she wants to hold hands whenever on the toilet. Today is day 4, and we did make progress the first 2 days.
Any suggestions?
Thanks!
It's a potty chair that we have sitting in our main room. She isn't comfortable on the big toilet yet.
She's really not old enough. Why not just back off and let things go for a few weeks and see if she does better?
I would let it go for a few months.
I would put her in diapers, stop saying anything about the potty and if she said she wanted to sit on the potty I would take her diaper off and let her try a few minutes, if nothing happens , I would just cheerfully say, good job, looks like you don't need to pee pee right now, let's try later. That is just what I would personally do, not saying it is the only thing that will work, it's just in my experience my first two boys trained very easily around their 3rd birthdays. No stickers, candy, nada. Just, they were ready and it was easy. Both night trained easily too, we just make the potty super low pressure. I have heard girls train sooner, but a good friend of mine just trained her girl at 3, so it is very normal for it to take time. So I think personally you are just in the process, but how long that process takes is dependent on your daughter's mind and body being ready at the same time :).
This is the response I gave to another post: ( on a side note he took about a month and a half but does potty and poo as well as sleeps in his underwear. Just needs to learn how to wipe by himself.)
My son is 3 as well and we just trained him to do both pooping took the longest. We made two charts adding things he liked along with a picture of himself, one for pee and one for pooping and got his favorite character stickers. Which was cars and angry birds. But with the poops we had a grab bag for $1 toys. So we cheered and did stickers for the pee then we cheered and put a sticker and he got a toy from the grab bag for pooping. He is 100% potty and poopy trained and had a book to put his old charts in to show people what he accomplished. No more grab bag no more stickers because he is a certified Big Boy! We also give no more drinks after 7 so he can wear his underwear to bed....so far no accidents! We only used pull ups for the training phase at bedtimes and outings but gradually switched to only underwear. Hope this helps! Also just talk to him about pooping or if he uses a pull up and has an accident take him and the pull up to the toilet and put it in there. And tell him his poppies go there too not in what he wears. It's a patient process I tell you but it works, so do potty videos on you tube. At the end make it exciting and smile and cheer loudly. Oh we also have a cars toilet for him but we use it for a step stool and the seat transfers or attaches to the regular toilet so he can sit on it and flush himself. Seems to think that's cool too!
Hope this helps a little....
I am all for training early, my guy was fully trained at 26 months. But she's still playing, it's a game, she doesn't get it. I'd put her back in diapers, save the panties for when she's actually trained. Stop the bribes of candy, cookies, etc. Take her with you when you go so she learns the mechanics, put the potty away a few months then start fresh. (We started more than once in 4 months, he got it the 3rd time.) She'll mature in her understanding during that time and it will "click."
I know it's annoying but you are doing fine. If she knows the signals, great!
It's just going to take a LOT longer than a few days and be prepared to be patient for a LONG time. Just matter of fact, cleaning it up together.
Potty training is a flash point for tempers. Try not to let it get to that point. If you can't be patient, back to diapers.
Is this a regular toilet, or a potty chair?
Most kids go through this, to one degree or another. It will pass, eventually.
Put the potty chair in the bathroom. Not only are bathroom floors easier to clean if she does have an accident, it's best if she associates the appropriate room with going potty.
The only big change I would make is that I would not hold her hand, or even necessarily be in the room with her, while she's on the potty. You could say something like, "I have other things I have to do. You can go potty by yourself. I'll help you wipe and wash your hands when you're done." If she calls to you and she hasn't actually gone, remind her, "I will come help when you're done." When she starts dancing, send her to the potty, but don't go with her. (Make sure her panties are a little loose so she can handle them, and leave her in a dress if possible.)
If she knows that she can have your complete and total attention, as often as she wants it, as long as she says that she has to go, she has no incentive to become independent and handle this on her own. She needs to start thinking of this as something she does for herself, on her own, not time that you spend together.
I have caring for infants/toddlers professionally upward of 25 years. At your daughters age, she is not physically capable of controlling her body to accommodate potty training. If a parent were to do absolutely nothing to encourage potty training, it is a natural biological inborn function that will happen on it;s own. 99 % of the little ones I have cared for has done this of their own accord right around 3. Girls usually a little sooner, boys (lazy little guys) later. So, my advice is to just leave things as they are. You can make yourself crazy cleaning up after her, and in most cases she will become constipated because believe it or not, they can withhold their bowels for a very, very, VERY long time and you don't want to have to deal with that. Just give her some time, and you a break. A child needs to be able to remove their clothing, get on the potty and have the ability to know they need to go and allow enough time. That's alot..lol....so just enjoy them while they are little, it will all be fine.
Sounds like she is figuring out control. Give her some time to learn. It's like learning to walk, it takes some time.
