Toddler Won't Sleep with Out a Fight

A later bedtime is definitely not the answer. More than likely he is going to bed too late! Check out the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." This will explain more, but mostly that overtired children have a harder time going to sleep and staying asleep.

Last night was the first time in a long time that my 2.5 year old daughter did not scream in bed last night! When I was tucking her in last night, I kept repeating to her that she needs to close her eyes and try to go to sleep really quietly. And that I would check on her in 5 minutes, but only if she didn't cry or scream and her eyes were closed. I repeated it to her 3 or 4 times so she understood. When I checked on her in 5 minutes, her eyes were closed, at 10 minutes she was asleep! It was AWESOME! Good luck!

I would say try a later bedtime, even if it's just 20-30 minutes. Kids need less sleep as they grow, and he may be at a point where he really truly is not tired yet at his usual bedtime.

My son (17 months) went through this recently where he would just sit and fuss for 30-45 minutes when we put him to bed. I figured if he's going to sit there and fuss, he might as well be up with us and happy. We pushed back his bedtime by 30 minutes, and problem solved.

If you can't change his bedtime, then I would look at maybe shortening his afternoon nap (if he takes one) or taking the nap earlier.

As far as the tub goes, you could try setting an egg timer when he gets in and tell him that when the timer goes off, it's time to get out. Sometimes timers work because they take the pressure off the parents. The kids perceive that it's the timer that is telling them time's up. :-) Good luck.

R.,
You've gotten some good advice about the bedtime stuff - personally I'm going to try the "I'll check on you in 5 minutes but only if your eyes are closed" but then my girls are 3 and 4 and I think they'll understand that. Not sure a 2 yo will.

As far as getting him out of the bath... I've been doing the timer trick too, and usually they are ready to get out before the timer goes off (I say, in 10 minutes it's time to get out). But since I have two that are bathing together, when I get the first one out, I open the drain and the water starts draining out, so that second child eventually is sitting in a cold bathtub with no water. Then she wants to get out! Fortunately our drain is very quiet so they don't really realize it's happening. I can remember being scared of going down the drain myself as a child, so that might be the only concern if your drain is louder.
Good luck!

R.- you are not alone! My 2 year old daughter fights and kicks when she needs to have her diaper and pj's put on after her bath and cries once I put her to bed. The things that are starting to work- I agree that an earlier bedtime is the thing although this can be hard. If my daughter is fighting with me or crying I calmly explain that she needs to have her diaper and pjs on to go to bed. I will put her in her crib to calm down (does not always work) walk away for a few minutes and try a different approach. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. The most important thing is to do things that keep your voice calm. Getting angry with them does not help and I really try to not have her cry too much. Last night I was telling her it was nite nite (after a bout with the diaper and jammas)and I took her outside to hear the crickets and to see the moon and to say goodnight to the moon. She still fussed a little when I put her down but it was not a fight... she was just tired. Good Luck... I know I need it as well.

While always difficult, letting them cry without response tends to work - but it takes time. You just want to be sure that there's nothing he has access to that he could hurt himself with. If you respond when he throws his tantrum, whether positively or negatively, he learns that you'll come into his room if he does it and you're battle will be much longer and harder. Good luck!

i second the use of an egg timer to get out of the bath. it works like a charm for us too. it is the egg timer, not you telling him to get out. we use it for a lot of things (time outs, taking turns, finishing an activity etc). I would also try a little later bed time. my second child goes to bed later than my oldest...she just needs a little bit more time to calm down before bed.

R., I'm laughing because I had the bath tub/bedtime battle last night with my 22 month old! Thanks for posting this. I'm reading the tips too. :)
Oh, and my two cents: I noticed that my daughter is much harder to put to bed when she stays up later. I think you have to find the balance between "not ready to sleep yet" and "overtired and can't settle down".
Also, I've started picking up one of her stuffed animals and pretending I'm putting them to bed, reading them a story, etc. to get her to do what I need her to. If she's refusing to get ready for bed, I say, "Huh. Guess I'll just read to teddy bear tonight." She sees teddy bear getting cozy on my lap for stories, and her self-centered self springs into action, "No! Mine stories!" Then she sits right in my lap and snuggles with the animal. I guess I'm just trying to keep it light with her. When I get upset, she just gets more beligerent.
Good luck to both of us, right? :)

Sounds like he's overtired.... push his bedtime up by 1/2 hr and see if that does the trick.

You have received alot of great advice already...just one more thing that I've tried that has helped us as well. We have used a "reward" chart...a simple calendar or chart where my son gets a sticker on it when he has a "good" bedtime (you can define your rules for that). Then after he gets so many stickers, he gets to pick a prize out of a prize bucket. Your prizes could be whatever (we used bubbles, bath toys, etc, but some parents use a special park playtime, going to a place the child likes, whatever), and we started out with 3 reward stickers, then gradually increased it...then we just kinda phased it out and now we have no issues with bedtime stuff. Just keep it simple for you and your child and easy for your child to understand.

R.,

My son is 2 1/2. He goes to sleep pretty well most nights, but it was not always this way. We start talking about bedtime about 30 minutes before - giving him plenty of time to prepare himself, and kind of count down. Like okay - only 10 more minutes, only 5 minutes, it's time to go potty now and get our jammies on - things like that.

I notice that if it is much later than his normal time (7:30 or 8:00), he is a monster to try to put down. I usually give him a piggy back ride to his room and plop him into bed. He gets to pick out a story to read - then we turn off the light. He can then choose one song, we have a little snuggle time and then sleeping time. He can have a toy or story in bed with him if he wants and that sometimes helps. We also have his room very dark so that he does not realize that the sun is up. The time change and longer days have been a challenge. Good luck - it took us some time to find his ideal bedtime, but once we did - that made a world of difference.