Toddler Won't Let Me Help Brush Her Teeth

I just brush my son's while he brushes mine, it makes us laugh and be silly but I get the job done :)

I had a similar problem with my toddler, of her not letting me brush at all either. I got her a new Dora toothbrush, and told her Dora had rules we had to follow. Dora needs Mommy (or Daddy) to brush first, then she can brush all she wants. Otherwise, we couldnt use the Dora toothbrush.
Good Luck!

Hi J.,
When my son was 2 and some we had to take him to a ped. dentist to check a tooth that he had bumped and moved. The hygienist hurt him (scratched the edge of his lip in the corner) and the dentist scared him half to death with a loud voice and putting his face right up to my son's face. After that brushing his teeth was a NIGHTMARE. Crying, clamping down, fighting ugggh I'd never want to go back to THOSE days! Then I found a new ped dentist who is WONDERFUL! She told me to let him "brush" his own teeth at the sink and then when he went to bed before stories etc tell him this was special mom brush AND floss his teeth time. Something about having him lay down helped him relax and it fast became part of the night ritual.

The other thing I found with a stubborn little one is that sometimes if we just let it go for awhile they come around on their own. Not without us being worried about something or other to the max but I found at least with my son the more I pushed the more he shut down and would not cooperate.

Good luck!
S.

Tooth Tunes! These are fantastic! It's a toothbrush that plays 120 seconds of a song. You can but them at almost every drug store and we are on our third round of them. Either let your toddler pick it out herself or surprise her with a "special treat from Mommy & Daddy". Then tell her she can use this if Mom or Dad have a turn first. You get in there for the brushing, she does the rinsing. It worked with my son who used to be a toothbrush biter and completely uncooperative too. They have Disney songs, Cheetah Girls, rock songs, they really are clever. The idea is that the child brushes for as long as the music plays. Good Luck!

When my children were small, to teach them, I brushed my teeth when they brushed theirs. Let them "mirror" you. Then I let them brush mine and said "now it's my turn to brush yours".
I do the same with my grandson now :o)
Ro

I had this same problem with my two year old. What I did was tell her that mommy goes first and she can brush her teeth after I do it. This was a slow process but now when I put toothpaste on the tooth brush I say "eeee" and she shows me her front teeth and then I say "Aaahhhh" and she opens her mouth wide for me to get her molars. It took about 2 months to get ourselves into a good routine and now she lets me brush her teeth with no problems and when I'm done, she gets to "brush" them for as long as she wants. Basically you just have to figure out the same routine that works for the both of you and stick to it until it becomes second nature for her. Good luck!

J.:

I am a full-time pediatric dentist and a mother of a 5-year old boy and 3-year old girl. I commend you for asking for help with this and just not giving in. Too, often, parents give and in their children end up with cavities or never learning good oral hygiene practices. One of your responders mentioned that these are baby teeth and will fall out, however, the last tooth does not fall out until the child is around 12-years old. And the front teeth, not until 6-7 years old. Do you want your daughter walking around without front teeth if intervention was needed due to decay? So it is important that her teeth are clean. And it sounds like that is very important to you also. It is definitely important that you get in there too. I use electric toothbrushes on my children and I ask them what a tiger or a lion or a bear sounds like. While they are roaring I can get in there and brush them. And with an electric toothbrush, the vibration supplements your motions and expedites the process. And someone mentioned having the child lay down. My children lay down on the floor with their head in my lap. This position allows for optimum access and visual field for your. The light above is shining in their mouth and you can also see all surfaces of their teeth to get a good cleaning. Go onto Parents.com. They have a good dental article in the Jan 2008 issue. All of their points are good. Good luck with this and remember that dental hygiene is also very important for baby teeth.

Don't tell her that there are monsters in her mouth

This is the greatest thing ever that i just recently learned with my 2 y.o., "Can mommy tickle your teethies? Come on!!! Open big! Let mama ticle those teethies! tickletickletickle!!!" keep goin on and on until she gets bored, most days shes all about it, and your accompliching some silly time at the same time as getting those teeth sparkly! Good luck!!

I was told to hold my son upside down on my lap and make a game of it so he is laughing and his mouth is wide open. He'll clamp down occasionally but I get the majority of his teeth, then I let him do it himself. So far it's working.
E. J.

get her an electric toothbrush, they do a better job. let her do the brushing and then make up a game to count her teeth, with the brush. I would also get her to the dentist as soon as possible to get her used to going.

Get her one of those battery operated "swirling brushes". They come in neat characters like Dora, Shriek, Spiderman. I used one with my granddaughter and had a hard time getting her to stop brushing her teeth. The revolving brush does a great job cleaning. Use your toothbrush and show her how to brush front, back, and tops of her teeth. Making brushing a family affair. let her brush your teeth, them it will be your turn to brush her teeth using her character toothbrush.

Good luck!

Be sure to get some photos of these moments with your little one. They are treasured memories even if they seem like nightmares now. Do you scrapbook at all. I am a Creative Memories consultant and can help you get started. Go to www.mycmsite.com/pattibublat.

P. Bublat

I suggest you tell your daughter that you need to brush her teeth first, then it will be her turn to brush her teeth. Also a good time to get some books and activities about teeth brushing and how to take care of your teeth, foods that are good for your teeth and that aren't good for your teeth. Maybe this way she will understand why you need to help with her teeth brushing too. Have fun. Oh yeah it's Dental month. : )

J.
Making it a rule that little kids can do it all by themselves in the morning and that Mom or Dad has to check at night worked for me. It can be a game you are checking and brushing at the same time and reward with stickers if necessary. A friend of mine told her kids they could not have candy or sweets if they did not let M/D brush at night to check that it was all gone.
M.

Same happened to us. Try taking turns, pull your tooth brush and let her brush your teeth too.

I had the same problem with my daughter (who is now 4)- my dentist told me that I would just have to hold her down and brush her teeth. SO- that's exactly what I did for about 6 months-it seems barbaric I know - but I think needing cavities filled at that age is more so. She' fine with brushing now. HOpe this helps!

My 2yr old has been like that for awhile. We finally went back to the gum finger toothbrush. We still have to hold her down but it seemed that even soft brushes were too much. Now I able to get every tooth front & back and I can tell with the touch how hard. The finger brush is nice & soft.

We have a very independent 2 year old as well. We let her brush her own teeth, then we have a puppet take a turn. We use a hand puppet to touch up our teeth and then have the puppet touch up her teeth - she thinks this is a riot. My husband and I can't believe how silly we have become with our 2 kids - but it works.

My son is also 27 months. He loves imitating everything we do, so on the days he's giving us trouble, either my husband or I brush at the same time we're trying to brush his teeth, and he likes the idea of doing the same thing as mommy or daddy. Also, we switched to a fruity kid-friendly toothpaste, which seemed to help. And we let him pick out his own toothbrushes (with characters, of course).

Hi there - I have a few strategies that might help with your brushing dilemma. I am not sure how old your toddler is or if he or she is ready but a trip to the dentist might help. My three year old just went for the first time and she was so excited about the new toothbrush that they gave her and they taught her how to "officially" brush her teeth. If another adult in the profession works with her it might help - you might even ask them in advance to let your child know that parents have to help. Even if she is too young for a true hygiene visit, it's a good time to acclimate her to the routine of visiting the office. My other thought is don't let her know that you want "in" so bad. The more of an issue that it becomes, as with all issues, the more difficult it will be. A third approach is to just be stern and maybe give her a timeline - for example.."some things mommy does, some things you do and this is something that I am responsible for until you are 4". OR.... Mommmy brushes you at night and you may brush ALL BY YOURSELF in the morning... OR... (Yes, I know I am opinionated and I have alot to say :) )A reward system. Buy some poker chips and for every evening that she allows you to do the brushing that you need to do she earns a "brushing coin" which can be redeemed for one session of brushing without mom but then be sure to stick with the agreement - as much as you want to help, if she has the coin, it's hers/his to do on her/his own! Okay...I could go on with ideas for days so I will stop here!

K. - mom of a 3 and 5 year old

We all sing "opera" together. It's loud, but it's hard to do it with your mouth closed. As long as we get a cursory run of the brush over her teeth its good enough. We're just setting up brushing habits now, anyway. These teeth fall out.

I do not think that she should think are monsters in her mouth.
Second, I put the tub water on so that she can reach it well and she loves to spit in the tub! Then, when she is done, she washes her hands. A great time is had!

My son was the same way from the time we swiched from the finger brush to just recently. He is now 27 months old. I would always start toothbrushing and then let him finish. It was a fight but I always made sure to get a few brushes in before letting him do it himself. What I feel really made a difference was an electric toothbrush for him (the throw away kind for kids) he loved it! He was much better about opening up for that one... and now gives almost no trouble at all. I also recommend talking her though it and make it seem fun as you can. Lot of praise for her! Good luck!

As a pediatric dentist and mother of a 28 month old and 7 month old, let me first reassure you that you are not alone! As the little ones try to gain independence they can be very difficult during toothbrushing. Unfortunately, early childhood cavities are real entities we need to try to prevent, so my advice is to continue to struggle with insisting that you help her, even if you need to force the issue. Let her have a turn first, and then let her know it's mommy's turn. In time she will realize that it takes less energy to fight with you. If you let her win even a few times, she knows she can avoid parental help if she protests too much. It's also much easier to introduce her to early dental visits if she has learned to allow you to assist in brushing her teeth. Hope this is helpful!