Toddler Who Hates Diapering

Updated on November 01, 2009
K.R. asks from Henrico, VA
5 answers

My 19 month old is very particular about certain things. He hates to have dirty hands and freaks out when he sits on the potty without his diaper on. So, we just make sure to keep his hands clean and have decided that when he's ready to start sitting on the potty he'll do it on his time not ours. Our concern is that he really freaks out when you try to clean his diaper area. He doesn't like his privates touched at all. He doesn't even touch them like I've seen most toddler boys do once they've discovered them. My husband seems to think the babysitter is doing something, but I can't see it. He loves our sitter and always jumps out of the car to get in and play with her two year old. I've read that if something bad is happening they cry when being taken there. He cries when it's time to leave. Is this normal? We're going to call the doctor Monday, but I just wanted to get some input from other moms too. Is it normal for a toddler to be this picky? Is he heading for a life of OCD? He often won't feed himself because he doesn't like the feel of the food on his hands........but if you put him in a dirt pile he'll dig with his hands for hours. Are we reading too much into his behavior? His older brother was just never like this so I don't know what to do! And the diapering behavior doesn't happen at every change -- it's usually when he's been constipated and the usual diaper rashes. He hates to have diaper ointment put on his bottom. He doesn't pay any attention to me washing those areas when he's in the bathtub and busy or if you give him a toy to play with at diaper time.

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

If you have noticed that he makes a fuss having diaper change when he has been constipated or has a rash that is probably all it is , he knows that it is going to be sore. The other issues with food textures on his hands etc could be some sensory issues , not uncommon so maybe a good idea just to talk to his Dr to see what they say.

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

The diapering thing clearly has to do with the fact his behind is sore from the rash or the constipation.

The food and dirt textures .. well he's 19 months and all of this is brand new to him. He's more than likely just experimenting and playing with it and seeing what he does and doesn't like. And those likes and dislikes could change and be completely opposite in the next heartbeat.

I wouldn't stress about it too much at this point, but if it'll make you feel better talk to his doctor at his next appointment.

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J.F.

answers from Washington DC on

OCD are the wrong letters. New letters SPD. Read sensational kids by Lucy Jane miller and the out of sync child. You might be surprised by what you find out not only about your son but yourself. Good luck!!

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R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

To be honest I'm going to be kind of sensitive about this. He is plenty old enough to be potty trained. No child is going to wake up one day and say I don't want you to change my diaper I would rather do this dirty job myself. You kind of have to give the idea yourself. If he doesn't like to be dirty like you say If you give the suggestion he will prob. be easy to train. Make it as clean as possible. Put him in underwear during the day and in order to keep himself clean he would rather go on the potty. The ones who don't mind being dirty are the hard ones.
I think he is wanting to be potty trained this is way of showing this to you. good luck

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

some kids are just more sensitive than others. My daughter hated having her hands dirty and would need to change her shirt if even a tiny spot appeared on her shirt. She had a lot of characteristics of Sensory Integration Disorder, and extreme sensitivity to certain touches. As for not wanting to touch himself, he still is young and who knows, maybe it hurts down there from the diaper rash and he associates that area with the rash. When my son used to get diaper rash it would extend to that region. I don't remember him even noticing that area or playing with it until he was about 2 1/2. I highly doubt your sitter is doing anything to the boy.

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