Yesterday my 2 1/2 got hysterical at the drop of a hat (overtired, hungry, shes 2) type of stuff. Anyway she literally went from 0 to 100 in seconds and she let out this insane scream and when I stood in front of her to let her come to me so I could soothe her or try to calm her she couldnt seem to stop taking in air or let the scream out if that makes any sense. She literally got silent and red in the face and I sorta freaked and grabbed her shoulders to shake her a bit and said breathe. She did it again tonight in the bath and you could tell it scared her a lot. Has anyone had this happen to their child? My husband is convinced its nothing but its freaking me out.
Thanks in advance
It's an actual condition that they out grow eventually and it has a name:
Breath Holding Spell.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000967.htm
My daughter did this very occasionally. The first time, scared me. Her lips were turning bluish and I was getting a little panicky. Our friend, who happens to be a doctor, calmly took her from me and blew in her face. She immediately inhaled and he handed her back. He said it was a natural response to someone blowing in a baby's face. So when it happened again, I blew in her face and same thing. It also startled her into calming down.
I had a daycare kid do that to me many, many years ago. He fell off a climber, scared himself more than hurt himself, but while I had him on my lap giving him loves while checking for any real injuries, he stopped making sound while screaming. No air in, no air out. There's only one possible result with that and that's unconsciousness, so I just kept calm and told him to breathe, just breathe, or you're going to pass out. Sure enough, about 5 seconds later, out he goes. Slumps in my arms, head back, eyes rolled, really freaky looking, but guess what? He started breathing. That's the beauty of the human body. A faint like that is equal to rebooting our brain. He blinked and was calm and fine. Since I stayed calm, there was no rewarding reaction, just calm affection, a reminder to breathe no matter how upset he gets, one last kiss for owies and off he went running.
I always advise parents to NEVER let the kids see you freak out. If they get hurt, keep calm and repeat "You're fine. You're alright. No big deal." It doesn't matter if you're kissing a bruise, cleaning up a puke covered kid, stopping a bleeding wound, offering reassurances for frustrations, or searching for a missing finger. They and the situation are always "fine", "no big deal", etc. You can freak out later out of their eyesight and hearing.
She scared you, got a good response, and now will keep it up. Stop reacting and she'll eventually stop. Worse case scenario when a child holds their breath is fainting. As soon as that happens, the body automatically takes over again and they start breathing again. Let her do it. Tell her calmly the next time she's doing it that she needs to stop her fit, calm down and breathe, or she's going to pass out. When she does pass out and come to again, be calm but firm that you told her that was going to happen and that she may not throw fits like that again.
I think she's enjoying the attention. Kids flex their muscles in every way, and they push the boundaries. She's learning about her own power here - her vocal power, her ability to make you stop what you're doing and focus entirely on her, her ability to scare you. I think she's experimenting a bit and may be scaring herself a little bit, but mostly it's a "gonna scream till I turn blue" sort of tantrum. She may be "freezing" a bit and maybe she gets a bit hyperventilated or maybe gets a spasm in her diaphragm? But what's the worst that could happen? She'd pass out? Then what? Her normal breathing would immediately resume.
Ignore it. If she's in the bathtub you can't really walk away of course because that's a really bad place for her to pass out, but I'd pull her right out, wrap her in a big towel, and stick her in her crib, saying, "I'll be back when you calm down." If you think she's getting some sort of anxiety over something, you can look into it more, but it sounds like she's overtired (or was the first time) and she just couldn't control her emotions. Then she repeated it in the bath because she got such a huge reaction the first time.
Kids this age do a lot of dumb stuff - banging their heads against the wall or the floor, screeching, etc. You can't buy into it. Take a few deep breaths and let her know you're not listening to that stuff.
When I was a toddler lead teacher, one of the things that I learned is that they might hold their breath or scream and pass out-- but they won't die.
Be sure you are doing what you should on your end: regular routines, keep healthy food on hand if you are out and about, and then, as Missy suggested, keep cool when it happens. Sure you could be hitting red alert on the inside, but staying calm is the best approach.
Frankly, I don't know if this is a 'testing' thing or just that she screamed her lungs out and just couldn't get another breath. I'm not one for punishing tantrums, but just removing them to a safe place until it passes. That said, we do want to ensure that some things (mealtimes, naptimes) are predictable. Do watch for signs of tiredness... some days, the nap or bedtime need to come earlier.
It is scary for her, mom. She is testing limits and it's a scary proposition. But guess what? It WORKS! She gets you freaked out and it's a way of manipulating you. She didn't do it intentionally the first time, but she will continue to do it all of the time because it works. She gets a benefit from it. She gets your undivided attention.
If this were my child, I would do the following things. Ratchet down on your schedule. Not so many things all day long, like running errands, etc. Instead, keep her at home. Wake her same time every morning, breakfast same time, a real schedule of activities all through the day, including quiet time. Lunch. Nap. Snack. Bedtime. Don't let her become overtired and hungry. The next time she does this, pick her up and put her in a pack and play or in her room and walk away. Don't watch her. Don't talk to her. She isn't going to stop breathing.
There are kids who do this as a matter of course and sometimes they pass out. They start breathing when they pass out. The doctors will tell you to ignore them so that they finally stop doing it because they aren't getting your attention for it.
Lots of parents don't wait for the passing out. They deliver a sharp pop to the bottom with their hand to MAKE the child draw a breath. And THEN they walk away. Because what this REALLY is, is a tantrum.
I didn't have a kid who did this, but if I had, I would have popped him on the rearend. Because once you understand what this really is, a tantrum, then it's much easier to not be afraid, and to take matters in hand with your child. You have to be in control because your child simply won't.
It's more common than you think. I second the "blowing in her face". My brother did this as a child & my aunt (who was a nurse) told my mom to blow in his face. Worked every time.
She's fine. She just got upset and couldn't catch her breath right away. She'll figure it out. Toddlers can get vey upset about the silliest things. Her's a fun page about just this topic:
http://www.dose.com/lists/3604/34-Hilarious-Photos-Of-Kid...
