My son just turned 2 a couple of weeks ago and has started pushing any child that is smaller than he is. Obviously this is a problem in and of itself except it's even worse because of his size. He is a large 2 year old at 40 inches and 40 lbs - which makes him stronger than your average toddler. He has done some damage in pushing kids, he even gave a 15 month old girl a black eye this weekend because he pushed her on concrete. He doesn't push kids to steal their toys or anything like that. He literally pushes them for no apparent reason. I always correct him when he does it. I put him in time out, I've "bopped" him on the hand to correct it. He always apologizes to the kid he pushes and seems to feel bad that he hurt them. But then two minutes later he is pushing that same kid again. I am at a lost for what to do. He doesn't have any siblings or anyone who picks on him at all. He has never been an aggressive kid until now. No recent changes in our family to provoke this. I just need him to stop in order to keep all the kids he plays with safe. Any and all suggestions much appreciated.
Remove him immediately from the situation, tell him we "don't push, and if you push again, we will leave." Then leave if he pushes.
This is developmentally normal. My daughter did it for a few weeks.
i was in the same boat. my two yr old was strong for his age and would pick on the weak!!! his day care actually gave him a twenty min time out. after he blackened a kids eye with a toy block. i felt so bad for the other kid. there was a long talk at daycare and i had a long talk and so did his dad. he knew this was serious biz since we all three talked to him and he got a very long time out. we also kept sticks away from him (he is two and a half now and seems to know sticks arent for hitting ppl). let him know this isnt just a tap on the hand type of trouble. its serious. i have spanked him too. espically when he dosent seem to care at all that he is in time out. our son is doing much better about being a bully. thats what worked for us.
It is difficult to use your words to discipline a child who is not learning by any other means. This doesn't sound very nice but sometimes you have to let them know exactly how it feels. I have had to literally push one of my children back. They were so startled and asked why I did it. I asked if they liked it and when they said no I told them that the child they pushed didn't like it either. It worked. Just my thoughts.
L.
Hi P.,
Kids don't always have a reason to knock over another kid just that they can.
Definately keep him away from smaller kids. When there is smaller kids around you need to be between him and them for safety. Don't let him get the chance to try to knock any kids around.
He will probablystop after a while of not being able to do it. Just keep staying between him and other kids for a while.
Good luck,
I think it would be a good idea to give him an alternative. He is probably pushing because he is frustrated. Something upset him and he doesn't know what to do; pushing is just an impulse. He needs empathy for his feelings and a good behavior to replace the bad. Let him know that he should use words and say, "I'm upset" and/or walk away and/or get an adult. Here's a good article:
