Toddler Not sleeping...HELP!

I agree with some of the other posts.. It's time to stop naps (if she's still taking them). It might take a few days of being cranky, but she'll adjust. My son stopped naping at 2 1/2, or it would stay away until midnight (no matter what I did).

Another thing is to remove the TV from her room. If it's there, she'll want it. Kids are really stubborn and they know when you'll give in. If you give in to her once, she'll keep it going longer. I know it's tough on a family for her to throw a fit, but if you give in... You get the idea. The music idea is great, something calming and quiet.

Good luck!

Hi M.,
I'm sorry that it's been such a rough time for you and your daughter. I don't have much to write, but I do want to tell you that if she knows that she's going to get what she wants be screaming and throwing herself around, she's going to continue that bad behavior. Sometimes it's kind of hard (actually REALLY hard) to give some tough love, but you've got to let her know that this is not acceptable behavior. The first couple times that you let her have her tantrums and don't give into her, she's probably going to throw an even bigger tantrum, but hold your ground! Once she figures out that Mom is not going to give in, she'll stop doing what she's doing. Good luck! And stay strong! I know it's hard. We had to do the same thing with our child. Now, he sleeps through the night no problem.

Hey M. - I'm willing to bet that this is just a phase. It's only been a week (I know, a week is a long time with no sleep) and many phases only last 2-3 weeks at a time. #1, letting her watch TV at this age isn't the greatest idea, but to let her do it in the middle of the night?!?!? That's basically rewarding her for waking up. #2, the rest of the house is going to have to deal with it, because you need to do what's best for your daughter. Everyone else is a grown up who knows how to put themselves back to sleep, right?!

My advice would be to go in when she wakes up and give her hugs and kisses, saying everything is okay and go back to sleep. Then leave. If she comes out again, or you hear her up and around, go back in, give hugs, say good night, leave. Next time go in with no words or hugs, lay her down, leave. (You will recognize this to be SuperNanny's strategy if you're familiar with her. It worked wonders for my daughter and my nephew.) If she's just screaming in bed, then leave her to do that. You only go in if she's up out of bed causing trouble or coming into your room.

I know it's hard to be calm in the middle of the night when you're sleep deprived and she's screaming, but that's the key to this working. She needs to see that you're in charge, you mean business, and she's not going to get her way.

Repeat to yourself, "It's only a phase. One night at a time." if that helps!! Many of us have been where you are, and have good sleepers now. You can do it!!!

Oh my gawd...please get the TV out of her room. Tell her that if she wakes up in the middle of the night to watch TV and throws a tantrum that she will not be able to watch TV the next day during the day, then stick to your guns. good luck.

get that tv out of her room! tvs do not belong in a child's room EVER.

Hi M. - She is doing this because she can. If the TV is in her room then take it OUT. It will be better in the long run (especially as teenagers) to not have a tv or other major play things like that in a kids room. When kids have easy access to things that stimulate them they do not get the much needed sleep that their bodies need to grow and be healthy. I have a friend that is fighting with this type of situation with her teen son, break that now will make life easier down the road. It has also been shown in studies that kids who veg out in front of a tv before bed their brains are wound up not calmed down like we think they are. That could be contributing to her getting up & staying up???

Other than that does she have a set schedule? Or is it an open schedule? Is she getting lots of running around time during the day??? Kids thrive with boundaries & schedules. I found this out very true when my kids were little and my husband deployed for 18 months. It was a little adjustment but we stuck to that schedule and did not waver (even if friends wanted us to go do something we stuck to our set schedule - that made a world of difference especially with Daddy gone & I did not have anyone else to help me). I scheduled get up, breakfast, morning nap (or quiet time), lunch, afternoon nap/quiet time, snack, dinner, and bedtime routine (bath, PJs, reading, bed). They were always in bed by 7pm (and still are in bed at that time during school year, 8pm in the summer but they are also now 5 1/2 & almost 8yrs). When they would get up in the middle of the night, I would calmly walk them back & put them in bed, comfort of course if it was a bad dream but if they were doing it just to be up or to have time with me then right off to bed. I would keep the talking to as little as possible, if I talked with them or let them do something then it just encouraged them to do it again (it is like a reward to them). Each time you take them back to bed the less time I talk or spend with them. You may have do it for a few nights but if people in the home have two or three nights of less sleep will make sleeping better for all in the long run. If this pattern is not broken soon then you also run an added safety risk with her up at night & everyone else sleeping.

If for some reason none of the advice you receive works then talk to her peditrician and see if there might be a diet issue going on or maybe some imbalance that can be adjusted. They might even recommend melatonin, I have not used it but I have a friend that has had to use it for her special needs child. SO I would suggest first review schedule and remove any tv or other "major" toys that encourage her to get up & play, put her back to bed with out giving in to her behavior, just remember that you can do this & you will be successful. Good Luck & Take Care

What's her daily schedule like? Has something happened lately that would come up in a dream and wake her? Her body clock is out of sync for some reason. When she gets up in the middle of the night wanting that screen time, ask her why. She's only two but she might have an answer. Now let her watch for a bit, then back to bed. Get her up when you get up in the morning or before you go out the door for work (if Grandma's the sitter). Wake her up and keep her up thru breakfast. Let her have a morning nap. Lunch and then an early nap. But don't let her nap past 3:30-4 pm. Dinner time, playtime with Mom, read a book, watch a video then bath, brush the teeth, pj's and bed. She needs to get switched around with her sleep patterns. After about a week of this, if she wakes up at 2 am, refuse the screen time, switch the activity to a rock in the rocker, a song, a snuggle until she goes back to sleep. It could be that she sensing the changes that are about to occur in your house. Kids are very intuitive. Remember she will always be a part of 'the family of our own.' She will be your fiance's child as much as she is yours. She will be no different than any other future child you might have.

If she is still napping, cut out the nap. She is old enough to stop.

Also add sports--swimming, gymnastics. If she is tired, she won't have the energy to throw a temper tantrum.

And wake her up by 8 o'clock every morning, even if she doesn't want to wake up. If she is up early, no naps--even in the car, or after dinner and lunch, and is involved in sports, she will be tired at night.

M.,

What about a CD of soothing music/lullabies that plays all night? My daughter is 22 months and has really enjoyed having something other than dead silence in her room. Maybe consider a nightlight/dimmer switch too. Both of my kids from a young age have not liked the total darkness of their rooms, but the dimmer switch cured that overnight (no pun intended).

Hope this helps,
M.

She has to be sleeping during the day if she is up that early. Cut the nap down to 20 minutes, if that doesn't work cut the nap out completely and make sure she gets enough physical activatiy durng the day to be tired.
Parenting is hard work and we can figure it out we just have to think about it.

Dr. William Sears says that sometimes kids will keep their parents up at night if they haven't had enough mommy time during the day. Maybe you could try a little focussed one-on-one time with her before bedtime? There are few things tougher to me than longterm sleep deprivation, so my sympathies go out to you..