I have a very active three year old boy and am expecting a daughter in December. My once sweet toddler has become extremely difficult. He doesn't understand why I can't wrestle and play as much and he is beginning to act out and not listen at all. I know my own tiredness and crabbiness is rubbing off on him as well. I have a fabulous and supportive husband who unfortunately has new hours at work which keep him away until late at night. Has anyone else seen a drastic change in behavior with their first born when they were late in their pregnancy?
Try buying a rag doll or something together let him pick it out. then practice all the fun stuff he can help you do when the baby gets here. I pulled the swing out, and a few diapers. My son would diaper the doll and then put it in the swing and push. I taught him that way to be gentle and he was happy to be involved. It might help if he knows what will happen soon. Good luck.
Yes! We went through the same thing.
My son turned 3 last march and his new baby sister was born in july. Early in the pregnancy, he went from being pretty much completely potty trained to not wanting to use the potty at all. And as the pregnancy progressed, his behavior got worse and worse. He was the best behaved 2 year old around, and he turned into the most difficult 3 year old! For months, we couldn't get him to stop saying "shut up".... it was like every other word out of his mouth. Hitting, kicking... things he certainly had never done before... He was definitely having a hard time adjusting to the whole thing.
You should definitely expect the bad behavior to continue after the baby is born. Our new baby is now about 4 months old, and our son is starting to come around. We've found that being super firm with 1,2,3-timeout in his room has really helped. Also when he's really tired, the bad behavior seems to be worse.
I suggest spending some very special time with your son now, before the baby arrives, doing some really special activities together. And after the baby comes, get him involved as much as you can and try to do spend your quality time with him while the baby is sleeping.
I went through this with my son to some degree. He was so mellow, but when our daughter came he really needed some of his own time and attention. I would suggest making a point of praising him and giving him one on one time, whether it be a walk, or reading a book, something that is not strenuous to you.
If you need relax time, set him up with coloring or painting, or a bath playtime.
He was pretty good when our daughter came, very loving towards her. So just because he is acting out doesn't mean it will last forever.
The other thing, you say he's not listening. Don't let it slide, follow through with your rules even if it's tiring. Distraction is a wonderful tool.
My son also really liked sorting/organizing with little bins and what not. If your boy has a favorite activity, try setting it up in a spot close to where you can rest, or let him tote it to the kitchen while you make dinner, etc.
Also, you could make a picture book for your son, either with a small photo album, or paste pictures onto an old board book of his dad and other important people/things in his life. Some books/toys have a recorder too so daddy could leave a message.
Good luck
M.
I am almost in the same boat. (Expecting with a toddler)
Since the new baby is not here yet, I would imagine the behavior issue is more the terrible twos which can extend into 3s, 4s... I am sure you are still interacting with your son. I don't let my almost 3 year old sit on me anymore but still play with him and read to him. When the baby does come, be sure to set aside enough toddler time when the baby naps. The last month is the hardest, but hang in there you are in the homestretch. Good luck.
Pregnancy can be just as hard on our children as it is on us. Mostly because they just don't understnd the diffence between long term changes and short term ones.
My first experience with this was with my 1 1/2 year old daughter during my final trimester with my son. She was too littel to grasp any of the changes so we recruited family and friends to take her to the park, the library, McDoanlds playland, a walk or anything so that I could lay down for a nap or ride out my daily Braxton Hicks contractions. It was a simple short term fix and when the baby was born all went pretty smoothly for them.
The challenge for us was when I was pregnant with our third child. My pregnancy was challenging, I was always exhausted even through the energetic 2nd trimester. around 24 weeks I was put on restricted activity because my Braxton Hick contractions were so strong there was concern labor could genuinely start any day. My son turned 4 during my 2nd trimester and my daughter turned 5, 3 days after I delivered. Once again, family and friend who could come and take the kids out were critical. But for behavior at home, the best thing we did was talk to them. I stocked up on books from the library about mom having a baby. our favorite became "Baby on the the Way" by Dr & Mrs Sears. We also intentionally watched nature shows about baby animals and tracked the arrival of new babies at the zoo.
It worked out for us that my kids like bears, and would always want to see the bears when we visited the zoo. Hard as it was to walk the zoo through Braxton hicks contractions, we did it only to find our favorite bear was not in the exhibit. Turns out she was pregnant too. So in the spring when we returned to the zoo with our new baby sister, there were two new bear cubs in the exhibit. 2.5 years later it is still our favorite must see exhibit at the zoo.
I have to disagree with the advice not to talk about the baby. The baby is coming, and staying. Your son will need to adjust to that reality. But how you talk about it matters. Include him in naming decisions, let him feel you belly when the baby is moving, bring him along to doctor visits to hear the heart beat. and if your doctor is good, he/she will enlist your son's help in taking care of you.
My 3-4 year old son became very good at rubbing my back through early contractions, so when the real thing hit and I was delirious , he was the one who held my hand while my husband called the midwife and we waited for the child care to arrive.
Good luck and remember, this too shall pass
Not only during pregnancy but the sibling rivalry can continue the rest of his life. Try not to talk about the new baby too much so he doesn't feel less important than he has been the past 3 years. Daddy can still wrestle with the little guy for a short time when he gets home, whatever time. They need quality time whether his hours changed or not. You do less psysically active things with hem. Have him help you bake cupcaked or decorate cookies. He may be a mess but he'll have quality time with you doing things you can do. Leave the roughhousing to dad.
oooooo, my 3 yr old was 2.5 when i had our daughter 6 months ago. He got into a hitting, kicking phase. he'd try to kick my belly. he got soooo bad. I told him over and over and it helped... that when the baby comes out i will need to rest and then my belly will get smaller again. and you know what? we'll get to hug ALOT and REALLY CLOSE.
and then he'd ask me "are we gonna hug alot when the baby comes out" (cuz its hard to get a good hug prego)
that seemed to do the trick.
: )
Andrea,
My dtr also went a bit nuts for a while. I got her into a class and also did a more playtime at the playground or with other children. She shaped up after a few weeks.
Can you get him into a park district sports class? Or some other play group? That would help tire him out and give him something just for him.
