Toddler Nightmares? Maybe? Please Help!

It's entirely possible that it's a combination of a new bed/room and typical toddler nightmares. At this age, many toddlers and preschoolers start having very vivid nightmares. They cannot differentiate between "real" and "dream" because they don't have the cognitive maturity yet.

The best advice I could give you is to continue with what you are doing (rubbing his back and putting him back to sleep) and remind him that dreams are not real. You don't say how old your son is, but during the day find out if he remembers waking up or what scared him. This may give you some insight.

When my son was 2, he had horrible vivid nightmares. He rarely remembered them in the morning, but it scared us to death to hear him scream like that. He too would go right back to sleep without issue, but once in a while he did remember. Apparently his nightmares surrounded giant spiders crawling into his bad. We added to our nightly routine so that it included having my husband check under his bed with a flashlight and confirm that there were no bugs.

Now that he's 3.5, the dreams are coming back again. He's reading more books and seeing more movies with scary characters (Disney can be pretty scary), so it's to be expected. We do the same thing, though... my husband puts him back in his bed and rubs his back. In the morning we talk about the fact that dreams aren't real (he is old enough to get this now) and that they are just pictures in his imagination.

I don't think this has anything to do with needing less sleep, but has everything to do with him developing an imagination, which is a good thing! The challenge now is to help him differentiate between "real" and "imaginary". He'll get there and he'll go through this on-and-off for many years.

It's hard to know what is going on in a toddler's head, but if you put yourself in his place: He may have woken from time to time in his crib, but being in a cozy, familiar place, feeling comfortable, he was able to settle himself back to sleep. Now, not only being in a different bed that doesn't have the security of the enclosure, plus a completely different room, he may have no idea where he is when he wakes up at night. Maybe he is scared that these strange surroundings also don't include his mother, that he may be in a completely different world, or whatever. In other words, he may just be disoriented - as adults often feel if they wake up at night while staying away from home and don't know where they are at first. We can reason it out - a 20 month-old has a little more trouble. My guess he will just have a little adjustment period and needs to know you are still there when he needs you, and then probably go back to being the super-sleeper that he is!

Google "night terrors" and see if it describes what is going on with him. I had a kid who had them for years. They are different than standard nightmares and can be triggered by fatigue or stress. The change in location and type of bed at the same time could be a possible trigger. You could also call your pediatrician and ask about "night terrors." It's hard for me to tell from your description if that might be what's going on with him, but it sounds like a possibility. He's at the right age for them to start. Good luck. Oh, for sleep problems in general (both my boys have had them) I always recommend Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Sleepless in America."

Did you try blanket sleeper and cushions on the floor so if he falls it will be soft and he will be warm.