Toddler Hurting Self at Nap and Night Time

I would wonder if this is more of a health issue than a sleep issue. Why has he been congested and antibiotics for 4 months? Colds don't last 4 months. A sinus infection should clear up within a few weeks on antibiotics. Is he allergic to something? He is telling you that something in his body is off balance. I would consult an ND if after 4 months and antibiotics there was still congestion. He's only 2 and they grow up so fast, don't be hard on him for not following the method...he doesn't feel well and he wants his mom. Hang in there.

First of all, good luck and hang in there. Sleep issues are so difficult and physically and emotionally draining.

Have allergies or reflux been considered? Allergies, reflux and asthma can be aggravated at nighttime while laying down on a flat crib or bed. Raising mattress or head of bed in addition to meds can help if it is allergies, reflux or asthma related.

Your idea of laying on his floor sounds great. Allows him to work on sleeping independently but assures him you are there. And, eventually I think it would take less adn less time. YOu could also start to tell him you are going to leave for a minute or two but will be right back and see how he handles it.

The first thing we did was to switch to a bed. It didn't solve the problem, but it made it easier for us to lay with our son until he fell asleep. It will also help assure you he isnt going to hurt himself jumping out of the crib. Our son was in a bed before he was 2. He couldn't even walk at the time but it was such a relief for us. When he turned 3 we pushed the issue more and tried more strategies and within a few months he was sleeping on his own.

We reminded him of concrete ways to help himself such as put your head on the pillow/mattress, close your eyes, and no talking. We kept a very regular routine including reading and snuggling and reviewing the things that help us fall asleep. During times he had trouble between ages 3-4, we let him know we would answer any of his calls but he had to stay in his bed. We also would let him know if he stayed in bed for 5mins (or whatever time period)after we left the room we would come back up and give him another hug and kiss. If he got up int he middle fo the night, he could call to us but he couldn't come in our room. If he got up, we would talk to him and tell him to get back in bed and call for us and we would come. If we had to walk him in ourselves, then we wouldn't lay with him. A minute later he could call for us, but he had to call for us and not get out of bed. Through all these intermediary steps he did great. The assurance that we were there and would be there was helpful to him. The consistency of routine and sticking to the plan was crucial, brutal to carry out when we were tired but helpful. From 4-present he really has had only a few hiccups. He is 7 now and is a great sleeper. We still keep a very regular routine.

All kids are truly different. My 2nd son was a great sleeper. He loved his bed, reached for his crib while I tried to read to him, etc. Of course at 4 he now has more hiccups than he did earlier. I am now expecting twins, children 3 and 4 and my greatest hope is that they sleep.

Sleep issues are so tough. Hang in there. Check with your doctor about medical and developmental problems that could be related. Good luck with finding the balance between survival and meeting long term goals of independent sleeping. YOu're doing great in your efforts.

Hi S.. I feel so bad for your little one. This is only my opinion, but I think some kids just won't respond to the Ferber method and need their parents to help them go to sleep. He's still so little and because he's good when you lie down on the floor next to him, why not give him that security? I have a three-year-old and we often stay with him until he falls asleep. But there are some days when I ask him if he wants to put himself to sleep and he says yes and it goes beautifully. I feel good about what we're doing because it means he trusts us and I know eventually he'll go to sleep every night on his own. I know it feels like a waste of time to lay there for an hour while he's going to sleep, but I've learned to enjoy taking the time to relax myself. Also, they grow up so quickly, so why not give them this extra special time now? Good luck!

Hi S., I'm sorry but why has he been conjested and on antibiotics for 4 months? That might be a large part of what you describe as an escalating problem. Just because he is conjested doesn't mean he should be on any meds...and if he is conjested for that length of time your doctor should be looking at the reason...could he be suffereing from allergies? or is he having a tonsil/adnoid problem that needs treatment? Is there something wrong with his ears? Any one or combination of these items could be a major cause of the problems you are having. A dear friend of mine (also a peds nurse) has a son that was conjested all the time...when he was 5 we discovered he was allergic to wheat, milk, household dust, and animal dander. None of the allergies were very bad or life threatening and it took skin tests to find them. But the difference in him after she knew the problems and could take corrective actions was amazing!! Not only did his constant conjestion disapear, but almost all of his behavior problems as well. Not that he was a bad child mind you, but he did have sleep issues and a terriable temper. Go to another doctor, get a second opinion...there may be more here than what meets the eye. Good luck and best wishes.

My one year old had terrible temper tantrums while he was experiencing problems with his ears, similar to what you have described, with throwing himself around in the crib, etc. (He still has them, but not as frequently.) On top of the other suggestions regarding helping the congestion, I've found a product called "Xlear", pronounced "Clear". It is a nasal spray made from xylitol sugar, grapeseed extract, and saline solution. I will do one spray up each nostril in the morning and evening while it seems he needs it. (has a snotty nose) It is not medicine, so it is not habit forming, and xylitol sugar has been found in a Finnish study to reduce incidences of ear infections. (In students chewing gum -- xylitol is the sugar used in Trident, to reduce cavities, there are no studies on the nasal spray). There are anectodal stories of the product really helping people with sinus infections. The thought is that grapeseed extract has antibiotic qualities and the xylitol sugar damages the bacteria causing the infections so that it can't reproduce. Antibiotics cause their own terrible side effects, and I don't know for sure if this product is the reason, but my little boy has not had a cold become an ear infection since I started using it in February, and he has been treated with antibiotics 8 times, with a burst ear drum and tubes put in, since September of last year. Worth a try. You can find it at the McIntyre Square GNC or online. This is the website that I first came across the sugar on -- http://www.xlear.com/xylitol/greene.aspx
Dr. Greene's website is great for a number of baby complaints.

Since your son is congested, have you tried elevating the head of the mattress? When little ones are congested, it tends to make them completely uncomfortable lying flat. Elevating the head of the mattress by sticking even a small flat pillow under the mattress gives it that little bit of elevation they need, so everything in their head and lungs drain downward. A cool mist humidifier may also help the discomfort of the congestion. Also, using padding on the crib may help decrease the risk of injury. The egg-crate mattress is usually inexpensive, and can be cut easily to fit around the railings and then wrapped with fabric or a cloth tablecloth. Hopefully your little guy will feel better soon. This type of behavior and maybe some additional analysis on his congestion would probably be good things worth mentioning on your next Doctor's visit.

I would read him a story or two to help him feel this is his wind down special love time with you and/or your husband. Then he feels good about going to bed. Also, you might try singing a song to him or playing a special kid cd to help him relax at bedtime.

Also, he is old enough to be in a bed. Take him out to pick out a bed for a big boy and get a bed guard as well to protect him from falling out.

Maybe he is ready for a "big boy bed" with rails?
Mom of 2 girls, 1 boy, ages 6, 8, & 10.

Hi S., sorry to hear your going through a rough bed/nap time. The only advice I could think of, is maybe he is ready for a "big boy bed." You could explain to him that he's getting bigger now and he' ready to sleep in a bed like mommy and daddy's. Maybe once he sleeps in one he will realize that he can't be throwing himself around in it b/c he could possibly fall out. He could be ready for a little more independence and the crib is getting to contrained for him.
I wish you lots of luck! Your doing a great job... us mom's need to hear that more often! :)

I've had a ton of sleep issues with my ds so I sympathize w/you. I agree w/Barbara K that the congestion for 4 months could be part of the issue. I know I'd be miserable being congested for that long! I'd definitely investigate that further. Other things that came to mind... twin mattress on the floor (I'm not a fan of toddler beds, waste of money and if they mattress is on the floor they can't fall far), humidifier, prop the head of the bed up about 6 inches (help drain the congestion), talk to him about going to bed (see if you can find out why he's doing this), and... co-sleep or do what you did w/you on the floor while he falls asleep. Think of it this way, he will eventually sleep on his own and then you'll miss the closeness and cuddle time. Might as well get it now:) Good luck.

Hi S.,

I don't know if my response will help, hope so. We have always believed in attachment parenting which means our kids sleep with us. Our daughter slept with us until she was four and then she said she wanted to sleep in her own room no problem. My son sleeps with us now he is still a toddler. It makes for a happy family and secure children. Obviously you are going with a different method and hey that's cool too. Different strokes for different folks whatever works for your family. But what you are doing maybe isn't working so I would try talking to his doctor. Your child may feel like no one is listening to his needs to be closer to mom and dad at night when he feels most insecure, so he is harming himself to get your attention. You don't want to reward this behavior but he is only a little child and instead of allowing him to hurt himself further or for a bad pattern of hurting himself to develop I would take him out of that crib and put him with me. It's not going to do irreparable damage for your baby to sleep with mom and dad maybe just until he falls asleep and then put him back in his room. But that's just my two cents. I wish you and your family the very, very best.

Hi S., does your son have reoccurring ear infections? If so it hurt him to lay down. My daughter had to get tubes in her ears because of that and since then she has slept fine. We only came to this conclusion because she saw an ENT (Ear, nose throat specialist).Another thing that might be going on is his 2 yr molars. I hope out works out for you hang in there!