Toddler Emotional Breakdown

S.
My condolences to you and your family. This is a topic close to my heart as I was and on certain levels still am in the same position you are in. Sounds like your daughter is reacting to what is happening or grieving herself. For as much as we try to separate our emotions from what needs to happen on a day to day basis, it doesn't work. The tension and stress always comes through. It's an energy more so than a state of mind. Kids are like receptors when this energy is present and pick up on it immediately. Also, if your daughter was close to her grandpa, these tantrums are her way of grieving the loss. Remember, she is 2 and a half and cannot process the death as we adults do. As adults is hard for us to process, yet we have the ability to control it, can you imagine what they must feel? Your daughter just knows there is a change in her life but knows not how to deal with it. Whether it is the loss itself or your demeanor, it is a change. I lost my dad in 2005 and my daughter and him had a very deep bond. Grandpa was everything to her, and when he passed, her world shifted. She did not act out, but rather went into her own world and became introverted. School became an issue...etc. This was her way of grieving. Til this day she gets very emotional about grandpa now and again. When I spoke to my pediatrician, he said to speak to her about death and what happened with grandpa in terms she could understand. "It was grandpa's time to go to heaven", "grandpa was very sick and he was tired", grandpa was tired and missed grandma so he went to heaven"... etc...She was 8 at the time, so I don't know what would be appropriate for your little one. Speak to your pediatrician and see what he recommends, he could recommend a grieving councelor and at least you would have someone to guide you through what you'd need to do. I know it's hard, I too had no help after my dad's death and for as much as I wanted to throw myself on the couch and cry until I could cry no more, I had a family to raise and couldn't ignore all that needed to be done. I eventually had to leave my job of 17 1/2 years because it was very demanding and I realized I could not work and be a mom at the same time with no help. Take it a day at a time. Good Luck.

Well first i like to send my condolences to you and your family. I have a 3 yr old boy and I'm a single mother so at times it gets frustrating and yeah sure i loose it because I am human but for the most part sometimes i let him be, other times i talk to him calmly making sure he is looking into my eyes and i explain to him the way he's acting is not acceptable. Other times I will give him time out or take something away from him that he enjoys like watching cartoons. Your daughter is acting normal she's of course picking up from other kids and being a normal 2 yr old and testing you to see how far she will go. Also when she gets into those little moods sometimes I tell my son you want to cry go to your room or i just ignore him eventually they will get the hint. Also, if she continues crying try to give her something she likes for example lets color, or play, sing or dance or make funny faces it may stop the crying. Every child is different just like us adults.

Well i wish you the best and hope that this was informative and help you out in someway, shape or form.

I am sorry for your loss.

Yes it is typical for a 2 year old. I am going through the same thing in my 3rd child. And yes, she senses your stress and is reacting to that as well.

My advice is while you are still mourning gives her extra hugs and kissses. When you feel better, ignore her tanturms. It is always effective.

A.

Hi,
Yes she is normal and so are you. That doesn't make it any easier though. I've survived three two year olds (mine are 13, 11 & 8 now) and looking at that stage from a distance, it is interesting to see how much was going on developmentally - it is kind of like a little adolescence as they try to figure out who they are independent of you and how they work to get control over their worlds. They move back and forth between wanting to be big and wanting to be little (just like teens do) and all of this is the last thing you need when you are as exhausted and emotionally drained as you probably are right now.

I agree that your daughter probably is either grieving or picking up on your distress and be sure not to feel too guilty about this - it is part of being in a family as long as things don't get out of hand. Remember to do some things to take care of yourself, even if it means plonking her in front of a video so you can get some peace. But there are ways you can feel better together as well - getting outdoors to play and breathe fresh air has done wonders for me and my kids over the years - and the weather doesn't have to be perfect - we've had wonderful times stomping in mud puddles, sledding or just going for a walk and throwing pebbles in the storm drains. Snuggling and comfort activities can be good for both of you too - this is not the time to worry about how your house looks, although doing dishes together can also be fun.

When you are exhausted, even these things can sound like work though. So be sure to figure out ways to give yourself a break. Can you take turns with another mom, and of course, be sure to do some things for yourself while you have a babysitter. Do NOT just use this time to work and run errands. This will help your whole family not just you.

I am so sorry about your father. I will say a little prayer for your family.