My 22 month-old daughter refuses to walk on the sidewalk when there's snow outside. She sometimes starts to whimper when the subject of snow even comes up. Once we tried to take her sledding and she cried, and then, watching us from a window, she would sob every time her father or I would fall off our sleds into the snow.
I think this all came about when she watched Frosty the Snowman a few months back. Frosty melts and the little girl who is his friend ends up sobbing by his side. Our daughter has had a fascination with snowmen/horror of the snow ever since.
Anybody have any experience dealing with a terrified toddler? We've tried talking with her about it (hard to souse out what exactly is bothering her with her limited vocabulary) We've tried bringing snow in to her so she can experience it in a safe environment. We've tried setting her feet in it or standing her on the sidewalk. Nothing really seems to be helping...at least not enough that she can face her fears and walk in or around snow.
I feel sorry for her and her terrors and annoyed and guilty that we are catering to them by carrying her everywhere, or even worse, avoiding the outdoors. Help!
Thanks very much for your responses, folks. Great minds think alike, I had already tried a couple of your suggestions (bringing snow inside, talking about how much fun mom and dad have playing in the snow, watching Frosty with her, asking questions about the snow) and got nowhere, which was why I posted. I was starting to think I had scarred my child for life somehow, and that I was creating a problem for both of us by carrying her around when she was capable of walking.
It is great to hear that her fears are normal and will probably go away on their own. I think I'm going to just chill (pun intended), carry her around as she requests this winter, and wait for her little brain to plod its developmental course.
And I will certainly not let her watch Bambi until she's 21. :-) Thanks very much, all!
I would stop trying to force her to like snow. If she doesn't like it, that's okay, but she still needs to walk on the driveway or sidewalk like a big girl.
I think that if you don't treat it like it's a big deal, she won't either. Like Jen said, next year might be completely different - she'll be making snow angels.
And no Frosty.
I think that you shouldn't worry about it too much this year. This will pass, and by next winter, she won't remember this winter and her fear. Next winter, maybe no Frosty, and talk up snow - WOW! Look at the snow, isn't it pretty? - that kind of thing. She will probably love it by then.
Good luck!
Hi D.,
My daughter was EXACTLY the same way at that age, which was last winter. She was actually not only petrified of snow, but sand as well. We spent 10 days in Hawaii last year when she turned 2 and she refused to step foot in the sand. Made us sad because we had visions of building many sandcastles together, but it was not to be.
Rest assured, this phase will pass! A year later, my daughter is completely fascinated by the snow. I cannot get her to the car without her stopping to say she wants to play in it first. Same with sand - we recently returned from a trip to Puerto Rico and she was loving the beach. The funniest part about all of this is that she remembers she used to be afraid. She has said to us "remember when I was on the beach before and I was scared?" She has said the same thing about the snow too.
Don't worry about it much. Snow to a toddler is a strange thing - and can be frightening. It is very cold!! It is uncomfortable to touch with bare hands and they don't understand that it won't hurt them. Over the next year, she will grow and mature and probably see children on TV playing in the snow, or neighbor kids as well. By next winter, it will be a completely different story.
Hope this helps! : )
Any behavior you pay attention to will grow. You are positively reinforcing her "fears".
Wow, it is hard to know what is happening in that little head. If it were me, I would try a conversation with my husband in front of her about all the fun things I think of in the snow. And maybe talk about Frosty. Talk about how he comes back every year. If she gets upset by the mention of Frosty, you will know. Maybe she feels like she is walking on him when she steps in the snow. Or maybe she was cold so when she sees you and your husband fall she thinks you are in pain? Just guessing things you could talk about. How it is cold but doesn't hurt, or how you can warm up with hot coco when you come in...good luck!
Hello D.,
My response is quite late and I'm happy that you've already gotten so much great advice from other moms. I thought I'd let you know of an easy therapy (Emotional Freedom Technique)that works great for releasing fears and anxieties. You just tap some accupoints on your or your daughter's body focusing of the core issue. You can find more info at emofree.com or feel free to email me if you have any specific questions. It helped my son with the fear of deep water at the pool and some other issues.
Hope your daughter's frustrations will ease soon. Good luck.
J. K.
Just a thought. There is a science thing called insta snow. You just add water to it and it turns into snow. You can get it at a teacher store like The Chalkboard. It is not cold and you can play with it indoors. You can save it in a closed container or throw it away when you are done. I wonder if that would help or not. You might give it a try.
Another thought I had-why not get her together with several other toddlers playing in the snow. Sometimes when kids watch others their age for awhile, they can't stand it any longer and jump right in.
It's so hard when our kids aren't happy and we can't figure out what to do and this winter, it looks like we will be having many days filled with snow. Lots of luck with this!
My daughter (now 5) was the exact same way. She refused to let her boots touch snow, so we carried her all winter. Now she could play for HOURS outside, loves snow and never gets cold. Don't force her. By next winter I believe she will have forgotten that she was afraid. I think the fear has to do with feeling like they are going to sink all the way into the snow... my cousin had the same reaction to sand when he was a baby...
Have you tried painting the snow? It's a lot of fun, and she doesn't have to touch it. It's a little safer for her, and might help create a little better image of the white stuff.
You just get some spray bottles (like an empty glass cleaner bottle) that you can adjust the spray from a fine mist to a thin stream. Fill it with water, heavily spiked with food coloring. Then go spray it on the snow! You can "write" in the snow, like her name, and draw pictures. The fine stream is good for outlines, then fill in with the mist. Or you can spray with one color then overlap with a different color and see what you get.
You can buy snow paint at the store (like Target) but food coloring works just as well and it's a lot cheaper.
I hope it helps!
Maybe let her play with snow at the table inside.
D.,
At this age she is too little to understand how to not be scared of something. I have a 21 month old and 3 year old, my son now loves the snow, but hated it at that age. My daughter now doesn't like it either. She likes being outside, but as long as she is in a shoveled path. She likes to sit in her sled and go for rides on the sidewalks, but not the snowy areas. It is normal at this age to feel that way. Just give her another year and you will see a whole different child in the snow. Just don't force the issue with her.
K.
You have to laugh at movies like that so she sees that it's funny and nothing to be afraid of. Whatever you do, don't let her see BAMBI until she's 10.
My son hates stepping on the snow. He hates getting his shoes dirty. I hold his hand and told him to "stomp" on the ground. He will not go into a big pile of snow, but he's getting used to it on shoveled areas.
Only one thing I can think of that I didn't see in your letter. Peer pressure. I didn't dicover this trick till my last kid. But kids don't learn as fast from adults as from kids close to thier own age. Maybe if your daughter saw "kids" having fun in the snow..( cousins, neighbors?)And was encouraged by THEM to join the fun?
It's only a suggestion.. but she'll be almost 3 next year.. and better able to process concepts of snow..and fun.. ..what is dangerous and what isn't.. Hang in there MOM. MY daughter was affraid or GRASS when she was 2. Now she's an adult, addicted to picnics and B.B.Q.s !
Hi D.,
Your post has made me smile. My daughter was thrilled to SEE snow from the comfort of our warm house looking out the slider glass door in our kitchen. It's really a nice memory of seeing her in awe of the work of mother nature, but she didn't really want to TOUCH snow until this year when she turned 3, and now I can't keep her away. It's just an example of how kids develop. Unless you've got issues with your back or other good reasons not to carry her out to the car, etc. I'd cater to her a little bit. She is genuinely afraid and you really can't reason with her at this point. Next year will probably be the year she wants to do snow angels....
