So I started potty training today by quitting diapers cold turkey and giving my son 2 m&ms for pee and 3 for poop in the potty. So far, he's done amazing and has had only 1 accident! But now he's crying for m&m's. I keep telling him they're special potty treats so he even tried to pee just now but he just doesn't have to go at this moment so now he's crying. What to do??
Nothing to do, kids will often cry when they don't get what they want.
If you want the m & m's to remain a special potty treat then just keep doing what you're doing and ignore the tears.
Don't give in, Sally. M&M's are for going potty. What you can do is give him plenty to drink so that he goes more often.
If you give in to the M&M's outside of pottying, he won't have an incentive to go to the toilet. It is fine to give a bribe for going to the potty. Keep it up for at least a week. Then one day, no more M&M's. You ran out of them and they are all gone. Make sure the pottying (daytime) is totally ingrained when you do that.
Good luck!
Dawn
Do.....not.....cave!
He will smell the chink in your armor like a shark smells blood and the incentive will be gone!
M&Ms are special potty rewards.....repeat it to him like a mantra!
Do not give in! They're for the potty only. Getting him involved in something else and distract him. He may have a tantrum but he'll get over it when he realizes you won't change your mind.
Using food can be tough because it is hard for some kids to make the
connection. The game that I did with my boys was to put Cheerios in
the toilet and they had to aim for them!!!
You said you only started training him today. He needs a little time to realize the connection between putting something real into the potty and getting the treat. If he's pretty young, he may have a lot of difficulty waiting for his part of the bargain to get the reward, so a food reward like this may be inappropriate if he's too young. You could give it a little more time for him to calm down and realize that yes, he eventually will need to "go," and yes, that will get him the candy at that time. But this is what makes food rewards tough for some kids. If this just persists with him wanting the candy without being able to wait until he's ready to go, you may need to work with a sticker chart instead -- rewards after so many stickers, etc. But again, for very young kids this does not always compute if they are too young to know that waiting for a reward will indeed bring it.
Hard as it is, don't give in! Use the M&M's as a potty incentive for a week only tops, (this actually is what the experts advise.) I didn't use food as I read and heard from other moms it wasn't a good idea, I used stickers instead. But the novelty of those wore off really fast (as most incentives do) and he didn't need or want them, sometimes the pride of acquiring the skills of going is the incentive in itself.
We had our ups and downs, and arrived at the point where he KNEW what to do and was refusing, and I finally worked this approach:
http://rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm ~ the child is responsible for going, not you sending or taking him, and you have a "power" incentive that you retain possession of and that he is allowed to use only at potty time. My guy complied in a little over a day (!) at the age of 2.5, yay! Night training is taking longer, which is fine as he won't be 3 until April, but he is sometimes dry when he wakes up and improves consistently.
Give him lots of fluids to get him to go, and praise him like crazy!
He may be too young to understand the association between a treat and using the toilet. You have some choices:
1. Continue, dig your heels in and do what you've set yourself on to doing.
2. Decide to try without the incentive....leave the diapers off and keep putting him on the potty every 1.5 hours or so.
3. Change the goodie-- for instance, maybe let him put a sticker on the wall whenever he tries on the potty.
In my work with children, I've discovered that I tended to have a more difficult time helping children to use the toilet when we were using goodies and treats for 'incentive'; some tended to connect 'producing' to the treat instead of to the natural benefit of staying dry. He may have a while to go before he learns his body's cues. It really depends on the child and their readiness. Be sure to find a pleasant way of acknowledging their just sitting on the potty. Kids who get too fixated on rewards can strain to produce urine or poop, so if you think you see your son getting anxious, stressed, or upset about 'not going', take a step back and see how to make it less high stakes.
Good luck!
Giving into petulant little tyrants is always a bad idea! At least that is what I tell my little Napoleans. Ignore the bad behavior and only give it to him when he potty's. Soon enough he'll get it. Otherwise he learns whiny fit=candy and guess what he will do!!? Maybe focus him on hydrating by drinking water so he can practice peeing more? Double bonus if he drinks more water AND practices!
Ask him every 30 minutes "Are you clean and dry?" Have him check his underwear. If yes - THEN he gets the M&M and takes a little potty break. If no - then no M&M, change underwear, and a potty break. Worked well for my son, as he was going every 2 minutes just so he could earn a sweet treat. He had to learn that ONLY when Mom asked if he was clean and dry would he get the treat if indeed he was clean and dry. If this way works, start doing 1 hour intervals. Then hopefully he will start going on his own when he feels the need.
