Toddler Crying for a Cracker

Children go through phases. Give her what she wants to eat. It's not like it's candy. She is just letting you know what she likes and doesn't like. Rewarding the behavior would be giving her ice cream for dinner in my opinion, not a cracker. There are two things you can't control in a child what goes in and what comes out. Don't make it an issue, because then eating will become an issue.

My daughter has a similar obsession with pickles.... Sometimes I include them with a meal , not on a daily basis. If you don't want to feel like you are giving in--pick 2 or 3 times a week you want to offer her crackers and the other times she asks , just say no. I run a family daycare and I plan a menu and the menu is the menu for the most part-- I can't and won't cater to the whims of 4 different children, but I try to vary what I serve to hit their favs and this includes crackers. Find a brand of cracker with less preservatives and that are whole wheat and limit how many she can have so she is not just filling up on crackers.

I would personally incite a tantrum... by showing my son the empty cupboard where the crackers WERE. No crackers. Crackers bye bye.

There's a big difference between starving and throwing a tantrum. Starving is when no food is allowed. Tantrum is *wanting* something in particular, and being thwarted.

She is only 17 months old, and this is a pick your battles kind of situation. The food war is one that you need to think carefully about. Maybe she will figure out that you get to decide what she likes, but maybe it will become a stand off that would never have happend, but for a few days of crackers. Who knows. Some kids do eat limited diets. Frankly, I can think of a lot of things that would be worse for a child her age than cottage cheese, berries, spinch, and crackers. My geuss is that she does not like the texture of meat, which is common for this age. You just really have to decide if this is your battle, personally, I am not sure that the battle ground is ripe just yet.

M.

So give her some crackers along with her other food. Carbs are a necessary food. If you had a hunger for crackers you would eat them. Don't turn food into a power struggle. As long as she is eating a variety of food, she is physically OK. If you allow her some of what she wants, it may lose some of its appeal over time.

My daughter, now 8, loves bread. I give her bread of all kinds along with other food. I like bread, too.

My pediatrician said, pound for pound, 18 month olds are the orneriest creatures on the planet! Isn't this the age where they tell you to put one or two bites of everything on the plate because it probably will be airborne rather than eaten?

Put yourself in her shoes, though. She knows she OUGHT to be able to talk to you about what she wants, but her language skills aren't good enough and that's really frustrating. Sometimes when she asks for something you do it, sometimes you don't. She doesn't understand the difference. And she has no concept of things like "if" and "later."

I would put a few crackers on her plate every time, before you even put her in her chair. There are some healthy whole grain ones out there (I like the Kashi ones, and they taste "plain.") Plus, even if it's messy, I would give her a little food and let her feed herself. That could be a huge part of it--if you let her eat crackers herself, but feed her everything else, maybe she wants to do it herself.

People say just serve everything at once, including dessert, and let the child pick. It will balance out over a few days. I know it balances out, but NEVER believed in the dessert part, and the rule for my daughter always was that if you're not hungry for dinner, you must not have room for dessert. But recently my son just flat out wore me down--he wouldn't touch his dinner and wanted dessert. I gave it to him, he ate it and then, once it was off his mind, he ate his whole dinner!

BTW, spinach is a great food with a lot of good stuff in it. And some people just don't like meat (my daughter and hubby). My daughter will eat a "no thank you helping" of meat, especially with ketchup, applesauce or dressing to dip it in, but she's not a fan. We do lots of eggs, yogurt, cheese and almond butter. Plus, she loves lentil soup!

I think it goes much better if it's not a battle. It's a tough line to walk, but offer healthy choices and let her pick!

Sometimes - just like adults, kids will want something "dry" with their meal. Oatmeal is wet, milk is wet, yogurt is wet, berries are wet and cottage cheese is wet. Some days I want yogurt for breakfast, some days an apple and some days toast sounds better.

You might want to try some dry foods like mini quiches (egg for protein, spinach for veggies, and a little dry crunch with the pastry) or home-made waffles cut into small squares (freeze them and then re-heat in the toaster), or other things like this that will give her a "dry" option.

Everything in moderation. I had a cracker demon myself, and just like many of the other posters said....their obsessions will change over time. AND if they know you are having a hard time with their choices, the smart little buggers will push those buttons in order to see your reactions. A little bit of everything is ok, and if they don't see us making a big deal out of things - they will eventually move on. Best of luck!

I tend to lean on the side of not giving in in MOST cases. At this age they eat very little at each meal so it is EXTREMELY important to make sure that they are getting the foods their body needs to nourish and grow properly.
I would tell my child that it isn't time for crackers right now and then proceed with the breakfast I had prepared. If she turns her nose up at it, wrap it up and refrigerate it until she asks to eat again. I wouldn't give her anything else until she has eaten what you prepared.
If she isn't into meat that's ok, it is hard for kids at that age to chew it. Offer beans or peanut butter or other forms. My kids ate tofu when they were little. Perhaps a different kind will pique her interest. Shaved deli meat instead of chicken breast, etc.
Kids that eat what they want and not what you give then will grow to be picky eaters. Remember, it can take up to 15 offerings of a food before they will eat it. Be sure you always offer a few choices at meal time (I prefer 3 - a fruit, a veggie and a whole grain or protein).
If there is something I make and my boys don't like they can fill up on the other two choices, as long as they try every item. If they don't like it I always offer it again and again at a later time. That way they can learn to like it. I have two boys ages 5 and 2 1/2 and they will eat anything from sushi, curry, spinach, broccoli, pasta, all the way to pizza.

Good Luck!

I would give her the crackers along with whatever else you are serving her. Then tell her no more crackers. My three year old loves chips, so she will get a few chips along with her sandwich. She will eat them first, then ask for more. We just tell her, "No more chips. Eat your sandwich." Will she eat pasta, cheese, etc? I was trying to remember what my kids ate at that age - lots of ham, cheese, pasta, finger foods, etc. They both ate fruit and veggies as baby food, then wouldn't eat hardly any when they were eating on their own. Now they have come back around to the veggies especially. Try offering her different foods, or more of the same type thing you are having, just cut up very small.

Is she allowed to eat the crackers as snacks? At 17 months, I wouldn't worry to much. They all go through phases and have their FAVORITE food for a few weeks, then move on to others. We went through the cracker phase, then moved onto the blueberry phase and onto many others. I am one that does separate meals, mainly due to schedules, but I also decided to not make meals a battle. He picks what he wants, and that is his meal. This does not include sweets, but it isn't necessarily what we will be eating either. Adding a cracker to the plate to get her to eat the other things isn't bad. It will all balance out over the week.

include the crackers in the meal. If you have them in the house, you must be ok with her eating them. Don't offer it as a reward or make a big deal about it, just feed her the other part of her breakfast, lunch whatever and then give her a couple crackers to finish off while you clean up her plate.

This is just the age! My DD did this too. She hated meat until she was closer to age 2. Now she enjoys chicken, turkey, beef etc. But it took a LONG time before she would eat a lot of foods. They say a child has to try something approx 10 times before they like it. I hate to say it, but you just have to let her eat what she will and keep trying until she decides she likes something. I didn't want my daughter to develope food issues, so I never forced her to eat something and I never with held food as a punishment. If your daughter loves crackers, then let her eat them. Find the healthiest crackers you can and let her have them. Give her crackers and cheese. Crackers with a small slice of pepperoni on it, crackers with peanut butter smeared on them etc. My daughter right now is going through a phase where all she wants is noodles. So I make noodles with chicken and a veggie and mix it all together. Or whole wheat pasta. Chicken noodle soup with lots of good stuff mixed in. You have to find a way to let them eat what they want while you "sneak" some healthy stuff in there. As they get older, they will develope a taste for other foods. Good luck.

If she is pretty much eating only breads and nothing else, this is a big flashing alert for a food allergy. It's ironic, but people allergic to something often crave *that thing* to the exclusion of other foods.

The easiest (well not easy in a way) thing to do is to stop that food cold turkey for a few weeks and see what the results are - is she eating other foods happily now, have other minor behavior or health issues disappeared.

You can research food allergies, or if you want direct feedback, join a yahoo group called foodlab and they will tell you if your situation is suspicious for an allergy and what steps to start with. There are a lot of wise people on that list who have been there and done that for their families. They walk the walk.

If she has an allergy it has nothing to do with behavior and trying to teach her better behavior is not solving the root issue in this case.

If you offer children a large variety of foods that are totally healthy (this means no white flour, sugar, highly processed foods, chemicals, GMO, nonorganic) (in other words, ideally just fresh (preferably raw) organic fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, sprouted or mildly cooked grains etc) - they will naturally select exactly the foods they need for their health (which may vary day to day or meal to meal). This way they will be set up for a lifetime of healthy eating and good health, as they will be really good at tuning in to their bodies and will be drawn to eat food that is good for them. If you offer them processed foods, such as crackers (especially anything that isn't whole grain), they will crave those empty carbohydrates, and will be set up for a lifetime of unhealthy eating. I think it is best to only have the freshest food as close to its pure raw state as possible. Also by the way, cow's milk in any form is not good for humans, and meat is not necessary. It is wonderful that she loves spinach! There are some healthy crackers available (such as whole rye), but most crackers have at least some (if not all) white flour. You can also sprout grains (buckwheat is one of my favorites) and nuts and seeds.

Is there any way you could do the two bites of this and you get a cracker type deal? I know it sounds like giving in but I think she will get over the cracker obsession ... when my nephew was 6 he would ONLY eat Fruit Loops ceral for a WHOLE MONTH. About two days in my sister called the dr. to discuss he told her that it will not hurt him to have Fruit Loops for a few weeks, there is probaby something his body wants/needs that it is giving it. If it went beyond that to call and re adress the situation if it had not changed. He went back to eating like a normal kid after about a month. You may want to have a simmilar conversation with your kiddo's dr.

I have a 12 month old who will not eat meat either. I talked to the nutritionist and she said that meat is hard for them to eat because it gets balled up in the mouth. (it happens to us too, we just keep chewing). I would look at how many teeth she has and if she can eat meat very well. I personally and a bread/ cracker kind of girl and I carry lowfat whole grain crackers with me for when we are out and about and my baby gets hungry. I would try some different varieties that you are ok with her having and give them to her. I know a lot of people think that carbs are bad, but they are the base of the food pyramid for a reason...so if you use whole grain and non processed carbs, then they really are good for her. Also, her body has different needs than yours, and just like when we are pregnant and crave weird or distinct things, so does your baby. If you offer a balanced meal, then she will pick and choose what her body needs at the time. I use a lot of canned beans for protein since I have such hard luck with meat. Also, toast (with cream cheese or butter or dry) can often take the place of crackers, but I know that I need my carbs or my body gets cranky. I have tried the Atkins and/or low carb diets and they are actually really hard on the body and can create ketosis in the body, not terrible for an adult, hard on babies. I hope this helps.

I think most momma's covered it with the just keep trying different things. One idea I saw too late for my first but will try with my second when she is about this age is to put 4-5 things in a cupcake baking tray. the little container sizes are perfect for exploring what is in each "pocket" and when one is gone - it's gone...
Hang in there - they will go through lots and lots of different phases and stages with food over the years.

She is shlowing her opinion. Great for her, but tough on you. We have started to put options on our 22 month olds plate then if he asks for favorites we ask him to take one bite of something else before he gets what he wants and then it it something small like one cracker or 3-4 goldfish. This 1 bite rule goes with age, our 3 yr old takes 3 bites. Yes we still have tears but at least we have something to be consistent with.

If she wants crackers, give her crackers. But vary the type, and sometimes, put things on them to sneak in other nutrients - cream cheese, peanut butter, applesauce, veggie spreads etc. This phase will pass.

When my son does this, I would allocate a small amount of the desired item with the meal, (if I had to) and after it was gone, I signed "all finished" and said "all finished."

It is a real pain, but it's part of their learning process, both for her to learn limits, and for her to learn that communications (verbal or sigining) can help get her what she wants. :)

My daughter is nearly 18 months old & bread & crackers are among her favorites as well. What I do every time she eats, whether it's technically breakfast, lunch, dinner or snack, is offer her a small meal, varying what's served throughout the day. That means at least 2 food group choices, but 3 or 4 is better! Very small portions. From what I've learned, our toddlers are probably eating more than we think.

Sometimes I feel like my daughter eats like a bird too but from every child development book I've read, that's completely normal. What might help for you is something I do that seems to work. Offer her bites off of YOUR plate. My daughter seems to be much more interested at times in what is on MY plate, verses what's on hers. If I know she's already eaten toast & oatmeal that day, I'll offer her bites off of my plate from a different food group.

From everything I've learned, and as some of the other moms have mentioned, as long as she's not underweight, even though it's super easy to worry, there probably isn't anything to worry about. I know it's normal for children to go through food phases, however I definitely wouldn't give in & feed her bread & crackers every time she asks. When you do feed her those foods, making sure they are as close to nature as possible is best. I look for organic kids crackers fortified with calcium & iron & use only whole grain bread with the highest fat content I can find. Good seedy, nutty bread can get in a lot of nutrition.

As far as meat goes, she doesn't need it! Kids seems to love beans, lentils & nut butters- she can get her protein easily that way, no worries! Right along with whole grains, fruits & veggies. Making homemade fruit & veggie spread to put on top of crackers & toast is another winner. Or making homemade smoothies is another great way to pack in calories! Imagination, is key.

Healthful recipe books aimed toward children are helpful as well!! They can give you TONS of amazing & simple ideas to pack in the calories in a creative, fun & healthy way. I'm reading & highly recommend, "Raising Vegetarian Children" by Joanne Stepaniak and Vesanto Melina. Not just good for vegetarians, it's great for anyone with kids. I've also heard great things about the book "Better Than Peanut Butter & Jelly" but I don't have that one yet! The first is an all-around awesome parenting book with an amazing & huge section on nutrition (including nutrition for toddlers) and as far as I know, the PB&J book is a cookbook, straight up.

Hope this helps Mom.

Shelly

Sorry wrong number. Let her cry and cry and cry but do not feed her what she demands and you know is not good for her. You are the mother and she is a spoiled eater. Do not give her what she wants and in a few days she will eat what you give her.
I know this signing stuff is very popular. I never have done it. My brother learned to talk at 7 months of age and my first daughter spoke in full sentences by 13 month.
I always insisted on speaking and learning a large vocabulary. This is the ideal time for a second language.
Start to talk it works better. Girls are capable of speech at a very early age and boys will talk around two years of age if you talk to them.

Honestly, you need to stick to your meals. She will learn very quickly to eat what the family is eating--or at least eat the first option--for she will realize she is only getting that option.

I made the mistake of catering to my son, but over the last few years I've changed my ways. Everybody (including my husband) eats what he is given. Your child is still too young to involve in the cooking (my kids are 6 and 9), but crackers won't really feed her anything. When she's hungry, she will eat, and if she knows there isn't a chance you'll give her anything else, she'll accept the food, however reluctantly.

Unless her doctor says she is underweight, I would not be worried. Be sure she is getting enough fluids, but help her understand that she has one option for dinner. It's understandable that she wants what tastes good to her, but she doesn't understand nutrition... and you do. She cannot make the best choices for what to put into her body, and you are helping her do that, whether she likes it or not. ;-)

Good luck! My kids are still learning, but I am helping them become healthy eaters. I am sure you will do so, too!

There are two things you can't make kids do - eat and sleep. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Consider yourself lucky that she will eat cottage cheese and spinach! My three and a half year old son is still incredibly picky and would eat crackers all day, too, if I let him. He was raised on yogurt, home chicken nuggets and corn, unfortunately. Yet he's grown and is healthy. My twins were excellent eaters, but have recently started refusing foods, too, and only wanting certain things. Very frustrating. They, too, are eating a lot of yogurt and not as many vegetables as before. With my first, though, I voiced my concern and she said it was all fine. My first son ate loads of fruit and so do my second and third sons, so at least that's healthy! Can you try giving her cheese or beans as protein instead of meat? Sometimes kids don't like it because it's chewy. Yogurt and cottage cheese are good sources of protein as well. Milk is good protein. What I heard from friends who have gone to feeding clinics is to keep offering kids different healthy foods and then give them what they want when they won't accept it. Eventually they'll eat more of a variety.... or so I'm told. :-)

My son is my carb king. He loves crackers and other carbs. He loves most fruit, too. Trying to get him to eat meat or veggies, ugh. We were doing better during his 2's and now he is 3 and won't eat again. It drives me nuts. I am scrambling as to how to pack in the food groups and nutrition into his first 2 meals during the day. I hope it turns around again soon,

Ideally, at 17 months a toddler still breast-feeds mostly. It sounds like your daughter is not breastfeeding any more and I agree with you. She needs real nutrition, not carbs. Bread does not grow on trees. It is not real food.

I suggest not to have crackers or other baked goods at home at all. She can then have her tantrum and eventually will follow her hunger and eat what you offer her. It is hard even for adults to avoid eating something that is present in the house. And, it isn't good for you either, so why not shine it?

Behavior is also affected by food, so it is double important to avoid the empty carbs. When you get these non foods out of the house, introduce a new healthy and yami food that may excite your daughter. For example, try smoothies made of eggs, yogurt, berries and raw honey, or milk shake made of milk, banana, eggs and honey. (yami without the banana too.)

Warmly,
N. Aldort, Author of Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves
www.AuthenticParent.com

Thanks for posting this. I think we are on the beginning of this subject too. Our 15 month old, whom I believe is teething, is being a very picky eater as well. She also knows where the crackers are. I have read some of the answers and have heard a lot of this stuff before. I also have known very picky eaters, to the point where they get a whole different meal than what is served and I vow never to do that. Up till this point, our child pretty much eats what we eat. Now I just want her to eat something. So I have been offering a variety of things. I also don't give in to her demands for crackers, but will offer them sometimes. I am looking forward to reading more of the responses and hearing what ended up working for you. Good luck and know that you are not the only one.

1st, move the crackers. Show her that they aren't there anymore.

2nd, have you tried something like spinach ravioli? It usually has ricotta in it as well so it's protein, carbs and veggie. That's not bad.

It sounds like a number of the foods you're offering are white (except the berries) so explore the other colors of the rainbow! Make one option for each meal and eat it with her. It's hard at first, but it'll pay off in another year when your daughter will eat a wide variety of fruits, veggies, proteins and carbs.

As for her signing, it's fully appropriate to tell her "I know you want to eat, so let's find something that's good for you." Acknowledge that she's communicating and expressing her need, but she's not signing cracker (yet) so you can respond to her communication without giving her the food you think she doesn't need. Another previous poster commented on this aspect of your post erroneously. Signing is a second language and will help your daughter develop language neural pathways in her brain.