Toddler Biting - Bolingbrook,IL

Hi L.,

I don't have a solution but I would love if you would share one with me if someone does. My 3 1/2 yr old son also bites. He only bites his older sister though. He has never bit anyone else and he only does it when he is mad. So, if someone gives you some good advise, please pass it on to me.
Thanks,
J. J

Hi L.,
I am a mother of 2 (2 1/2 years and 6 months) and also a Psychologist that works with children 3 yrs and up. I have read some of the advise posted and just let me assure you that biting at his age is developmentally appropriate. All children bite at times but for some children it lasts a little longer. The goal is to figure out why he is biting. I have a hunch that he is biting as a form of communication. Children at this age don't have the verbal skills to communicate all their needs effectively. The worst thing you can do at this point is bite him back. It may work but you are really sending a mixed message and can confuse him more. Here are my suggestions:
1. Buy or get from the library the book "Teeth are not for biting". Read it to him EVERY day. It is a really cute book that lists some of the reasons he may be biting. But it also talks about ways to express himself that are appropriate. Here's the link: Teeth Are Not for Biting by Elizabeth Verdick, Marieka Heinlen (Illustrator) http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1575421283/ref=nosim/002...
2. Encourage him to use his words when he wants/needs something. This is a great replacement behavior for the biting. For example, when he bites remove him from the situation and in a calm voice state, "Teeth are not for biting. You need to use your words" Then have him recite a phrase that is appropriate to the situation "I am mad, Want to play, Leave me alone". Short 2-3 word phrases are age appropriate.
3. You can use his favorite toy in a game situation and pretend the toy is biting. You would then role play the above suggestion but using the toy. Your son could then "teach" the toy about biting. It helps if children become the "teacher" and show the toy what to do. You can even put the toy in time-out (my son loves this!)

I hope this helps. I know there are many suggestions but trust me this will work. Best of luck to you and your family. Email me and let me know how it is going: ____@____.com

Sincerely,
H. S.

Hi L.,

My now 2 year 2 month old is a biter. My poor 3 year old has had to suffer though this ordeal, but what I realized was that she went into a biting frenzie (whether happy, mad or excited) when she was teething. Unfortunately, she was a late teether and what made it even worse was that her teeth were coming out all at the same time (in groups). Nonetheless, it started a very stressful and agonizing time, especially for my 3 year old son, who was constant victim of the biting. Once the teething stopped for a particular group of teeth, she would stop. But it started once again when the next set of teeth began to come out (all at the same time).

She understands that biting is wrong and she gets time outs when she does it. But during that time, it's like she can't help herself. At this time, she has 4 molars coming out at the same time so my son, neice and nephews are all on alert.

Also, when the time outs didn't work, I would bite her (not hard)but just so she knows that she can't bite. It would make her very upset, but it did make her think twice about it. When I saw she was getting ready to bite I grabbed her arm and pretended I was going to bite her and she quickly stopped and wouldn't bit for the rest of the day.

Oh biting huh? Yep, we have experience with that. My son does it too, and has since he turned 2. He is now over 3. He will bite for all reasons too and nothing works. He will also bite himself too, and he leaves big ugly marks. He will do it mostly when he is mad, but he will also do it to just do it. I know it is hard. I have not found anything yet that works other then what you are doing. I hate it and I can feel your frusteration with it. I hear you on that.

S.
Aurora

I am a cruel mom and did hot sauce like my mom did. It works you feel awful when they are screaming and my daughter even wet her pants. She has never bitten again. I warned her the first time and let her smell the hot sauce then the next time I scooper her little but up and put one drop on her tounge.

That was the end of that. She was about the same age, they just need to find an output for the energy they are feeling and need to understand how to get it out. Ask her how she is feeling when she does it, she may feel a surge of pent up energy, I have another one who has to scream into a pillow once a week to get the energy out. Biking or jogging does not do it for him. Wierd.

L.

I was told by 2 friends and a doctor that pinching your child's mouth open gets them to stop. If their mouth is open, you put your thumb and forefinger on either cheek and squeeze, not hard, but so that the mouth is open and they really don't like that. It ends up making kind of a fish face, if that makes sense? Hard to describe. If they bite down, they'd bite their own cheeks, but it's hard to bite down from that position. The lack of control over their own mouth is usually a deterrant. I was told you simply do it, say "no biting" and move on wihtout making a big deal, so as not to give it negative attention, thus reinforcing the behavior as a way of getting attention. My daughter stopped biting after a month of this (long time, but it did work). She used to bite only my husband or me, hard, and then laugh when we'd stop her or reprimand her. So I do think this works as she doesn't do it anymore.

People also told me soap in the mouth, but my daughter is weird and likes the taste of soap (like her shampoo) so I never tried that.

Hi!
Does he have trouble expressing himself (with words)? Does he have any other sensory issues? Have you talked to his Dr.? Goofy questions, but I know some kids have sensory integration disorders that have biting problems.

L.
You can contact Mark ____@____.com works with children with these issues.I know him personally.He is awsome.If he cant helpHe will find someone who can.I have done chilcare for 24 years and he has been my light at the end of the tunnel.Most of his sevices are free or little or no cost.Please tell him D. B. a childcare provider from Channahon gave you his name.It will help get you in faster.Let me know how it goes.I know you will love him.He is the greatest at solving trying times for parents.Please let me know how it goes.D. B.

Dear L., I am the mother of a 3 year old girl and an 8 month old boy. My daughter was a biter. She was kicked out of several daycare centers for biting. We found ourselves having to sign incident reports on a daily basis. We got dirty looks from other parents also on a daily basis. We were told by many people that she would just outgrow it. They were absolutely correct!! One day, our daughter stopped biting. She is now 3 years old and every once in a while comes home with a bite from another child. My husband and I can't help but laugh a little. Your child will outgrow this problem. Don't worry, your child won't enter college and still be a biter!!!! Jen

My son was the same way and it took us a LONG time to find something that worked! Everytime he would bite we would put vinegar in his mouth and he did not like that. We used one of those syringe medicine dispensers to administer the vinegar so that even when he would struggle we could get some in his mouth. It doesn't take much to get the point across but it's gross!!!

I have heard that this works. It sounds a bit awful but like I said, I have heard it works. You would reprimand your child much like you would your dog when he bites. Grab him/her by his/her mouth (not too agressively) and say 'no'. Not sure if that helps. Once again, I have heard this works. I haven't tried it. Good luck!

It looks like you already have some good responses -- the only thing I would add is to try as much as possible to detach emotionally when you address him about each incident. Don't show your anger or disappointment. Also move on quickly, don't repeat over and over and NEVER discuss it in front of him. If he hears you saying he's a biter, it will reinforce the behavior.

To give you strenght through this just keep reminding yourself that at this age, everything is a phase -- it will likely only last 1-3 mos. This is of course a lifetime when you are in the throws of it but not so long if you can step outside of it for a moment.

Hope this helps! Good Luck.

Hi L.! I totally know what you are going through. I go through the day waiting to get a note from the school telling me that my son is kicked out of daycare. He is a little younger then your son, he is 16 months. Ok so let me tell you what I have tried. We have calmly said no biting to him. We have bit him back. We have done time out. We have done sign language. We were actually told to do this so he could express himself. I am not kidding we have done everything. Like your child he does it when he is mad and excited. I have actually determined that he does it more when he is teething. So the other day he found a pacifier. My son has never used a "nuk". He chews on it and it keeps his mouth occupied. This solution has help. Your son might be to old for this, I don't know how you feel about nuks, but I figure anything is better then bitting. I am really glad to see that my child is not the only bitter out there. It is funny how other parents look at you like you must be doing something wrong. Sooner or later their kids will do something bad and then we can laugh. Good Luck

My daughter was a biter, and I found out later that she has Sensory Integration Disorder and would often seek oral stimulation. Her case is very mild and I wasn't recognizing it until she was already 3 years old. What sounds familiar is the biting when happy and excited. Definately utilize the state's Early Intervention services (Pediatrician will be able to give you the info) and have your son evaluated by an Occupational Therapist.
In the meantime, provide things that are okay to bite to redirect when he is biting people. My life saver has been those hard rubber coil bracelets that are keychains. Remove the metal keyring and he can wear it on his wrist for whenever the urge to bite strikes. When he is biting, calmly stop him and teach him to bite the bracelet instead. My daughter is almost 4 now and keeping a steady supply of sugarless chewing gum has been helpful, but it might be too early for gum in your case. Also things that have a strong taste can redirect him. Slim Jims, sour candy spray, pickles.. you get the picture.
Good Luck!

Hi L.,

My old babysitter had a method that worked for my kids. Whenever the child would bite she would bite him! I know it sounds extreme and you don't bite him hard but it shows him immediate results of how biting hurts. He doesn't understand why it is wrong to bite at that age and physically showing him worked. He only bit one or two times after the first time it happened. Hope this helps!

A LITTLE ABOUT ME:

SOH mom of 3 boys 10,7,4