Toddler Birthday

4 is a good age for the first friend party. 3 is still too competitive. Even 4's have trouble watching the other kid get all the gifts. Make it a family thing with the child being the center, and keep it simple.

We have just family parties -- nice and simple. Maybe if we knew more kids their age, I'd invite them too; but for now, it's just cousins.

For my daughter's 3rd birthday, we combined the "just family" and "big bash for friends" approaches. My daughter's birthday is always around Memorial Day weekend, and we had a hamburger cookout in the backyard at my parents' place (we live in a small apartment with no yard). We had family (10 people), a couple of her friends (2 kids and 2 extra adults), and a few of my parents' friends (about 4 adults) there. It amounted to 14 adults and 4 kids. Adults who didn't care to watch the birthday girl open her presents filtered away, which was fine, and there were enough kids so that my daughter had playmates for running around. We all had a great time; photos show my daughter having the time of her life, and that's what mattered.

We have 3 boys - the oldest will be 9 this year - so far we have only done family and close friends of the family for Birthday celebrations. We have set a mark in the sand to give each boy their first "big party" the year they turn 10. Even my going to be 6 and going to be 9 year olds get overwhelmed with so many people.

Good Luck
T.

For our boy's #3, we had a party at home with family and cousins. The kids had a ball running around the yard and playing in the playroom, but it wasn't what you'd call a 'kid's party'...it was more like a family reunion. Since my son's b-day is in October, we had a soup and sandwhich bar (I made some and had some family bring their creations, too). Of course, we had cake and icecream, too.

We all had a great time and no one felt they'd missed out on anything. I personally think if the b-day parties start too big, you just have to top them and eventually, they get out of hand.

kids don't remember parties until they're about 6 so.....it's nice to have the memories in pictures for the parents but it's a lot of money and trouble for something that doesnt matter anyway. And parents of those invited willfeel pressure to bring a gift which is ridiculous at this age and in these economic times. I highly recommend just doing the family thing until your child reaches an age that it will matter.

We kept it 'family-only' for the 1st and 2nd birthday and then invited 2 or 3 little friends from the neighborhood, day care or church for the 3rd. It worked out well and it prepared us for the non-family-only parties.

Sarah - We keep parties at home, as I think they can be overwhelming for the kids. All they care about is a gift or two and cake. This year, when my daughter turned 3, I took my kids (I also have a 4 year old boy) to Crabtree. We don't do a lot of mall shopping (Mom's not a big mall fan!), so we don't go there often at all. We started at the candy counter in the middle of the mall, where they could each pick 4 pieces of candy (you pay by weight). Then we went to Build-a-Bear, which they both LOVED! Then we went to Kanki for dinner (we got there early to beat the crowd, and turns out they have "early-bird" specials). The kids LOVED that, and they provided a cake, so it was just perfect! Grandma and Grandpa went and an aunt and uncle. It has been a month, and the kids are still talking about that birthday party being the best ever. And let me tell you they go to a lot of parties - all the jumpy places, gyms, and everything. Still, they thought this was best!

All that matters is what you are willing to do. Some people thrive on throwing lavish parties for their small children who likely will not even remember (and that's fine), and others are pretty low key. A good rule of thumb is to invite as many friends as the child is in years (so three friends for your son). Other families I've known have rules such as that the kids get parties only on certain birthdays, such as 4, 8, 12, 16 (this particular family had 5 kids, so it makes sense). I think that same family allows the birthday child to invite one friend along for the day of activities (dinner out, mini golfing or whatever) on non-party years.

My Children are 10 and 7. I have had rather intimate gathering at the house for all their birthdays....except '07 we took them to Disney. It is your child and your budget.
My children are now requesting more of a "fun" birthday party but they are getting older.
Jen

My son was in preschool and we invited his class to Bullwinkles, similiar to Chucky Cheese but with tunnels and slides too. It was so much fun. We also did the family thing on another day. Do what is best for you and your son.
Have Fun
T.

Hi Sarah,

My little boy just turned 3 on Jan. 4. I kept it simple. I actually just fixed one of his favorite meals and just had dinner with him, his Daddy and I. Since we had just gotten through a really stressful 2 months between Thanksgiving, Christmas and 2 deaths in the family I couldn't handle even inviting extended family over. My little boy didn't care. He doesn't really understand the whole concept of a birthday yet anyway. We live within 5 mins. of my husband's entire family and my family lives about an hour away so we went to see my family later to celebrate all of the January birthdays. I had talked to my mom earlier about when to invite other children outside of the family and she said that even when I was about 5 or 6 my cousin who is about 8 months younger than me was inconsoleable because I got presents and he didn't. He couldn't understand why. Toddlers just can't understand why one kid gets presents and they don't. I've seen it with other young children too. My parents adopted 2 little girls and the younger one who was about 5 at the time got REALLY upset when her older sister (who was turning 6) got birthday presents and she didn't. My advice is hold off on inviting other young children (unless they are family of course and then you can't really exclude them). Simple is good because it won't be long (as you already know) before you'll get into the "friend" parties. Good luck. Katie

To be honest with you, at 3 years old they just don't care what you do as long as it's fun to them. What does your 3 year old love to do most. Build the party around that. Invite family and a few friends and you've got yourself a successful party. I think party themes are more for adults when they are this age. Good luck.

We usually do a BBQ at the house and invite all the friends and their families. If you have the space, this can be a fairly cost-friendly option & it is more personal.

Just decorate in the theme your child likes, blow up a ton of balloons to have just lying around on the floor - they will be a big hit for a range of ages.

We just make it a big playdate/social event. It has always been successful.

P

When my daughter turned three I took her and five friends/cousins to the Build-a-Bear place. I set a $25 limit for each kid and let them have at it. Afterwards we came back to my house for some pizza and cake. I didn't have to do goody bags because the kids had their stuffed animals. Also, the boxes that the animals get sent home in can be colored, so I put a bunch of crayons out on the table and the kids happily colored while waiting for the pizza. I figured I could have spent a couple hundred dollars to have a ton of kids running around and not really do anything that would be memorable or spend the same amount on a handful of kids and actually do something, and give them something to take home. My daughter is 4 now and her favorite toy is still the cat she made on her 3rd birthday.

For my DD 3rd b-day we kept it simple only family and she had 3 friends over. I had just had my DS a couple weeks before and didnt want tons of people around. She was upset cause all her friends were not there. For her 4th b-day (in march) we are going all out and having about 20 kids plus parents and family and are using the activity building at our church like we did for her 2nd and first b-days. She loves having all the kids around to play with. I think it just depends on you and your kids and whether they are very social (mine are) and if they have lots of friends (DD does)and how much money you want to spend. I'm spending about $150 on my sons first b-day and about $250 in daughters b-day.

We had the easiest 3 year old birthday that I have ever thrown last month for my son. Easy was defiently necessary b/c his littlebrother was only 8 weeks old and Christmas was coming up. I reverted to the old rule that my Mom used on us - you can invite as many friends as you are old, and we went to Chuck E Cheese. I didn't book a party and pay an insane amount, we just went early in the day on a weekday (since all our friends are stay at home Mom's and it worked out better to do it during the week)and I bought the family deal (pizza with drinks and 100 tokens). I brought cupcakes that my hubby picked up from Publix after work. It was SO fun, easy, and cheap. We also had the place to ourselves. since we went early in the day.

we did ours at a place called the playground however they have closed. this past year we did chuck e chesse. it was the best way to go!

I do child care (at home) and also have a lot of kids in my neighborhood that my son is friends with. So he has a lot of buddies, and therefore I wanted to have a birthday party for him that included all of his friends (also in my circle of friends, we all have parties for our little children). In order to keep expenses down, for his 3rd birthday, we went to a farm that had lots of activities for kids and picnic tables, etc. It was just a blast. There was no charge for using the place, and just minimal charges for some of the activities. This was the first birthday that my son was really "aware" of, and he definitely remembers it and had a great time. However, if your circle of friends doesn't really have parties for their toddlers, then I would just do a small party with family (and close neighbors if you have them). These days, so many people don't even come to parties. It's just in my case, there were a lot of children in his life anyway. But even then, I'd say about 1/3rd of the people we invited came. From what I've read and heard from others, you should expect a really low turnout rate (1/4th or a 1/3rd of the people you invite). People are just so busy these days! Also, just a word of advice, if you do have a big party for your son, mail (through the post office) invitations for it. People seem to take invitations that they receive in the mail more seriously than ones received via e-mail or phone calls.

I am having the same issue. It seems to me all of the sudden parents are spending hundreds of dollars at the bouncy jump house or chuck e cheese. I feel pressured to do the same. I don't want to have a huge expensive birthday. I think it is absurd but for some reason I feel guilty about this. My husband said absolutely not to the big party. He said it is stupid and that we don't have to be like everyone else. Instead we are going to a hotel with an indoor water park just the three of us for the night. His family always ahd these husge crazy parties and he thinks it is just ridiculous. I just can't help but think I should be like everyone else. I worry that other parents might think I am not as loving. I know that is really stupid. I usually don't care what other people think of me.

My first question is, does he have friends his age? My son attended daycare and had lots of friends...but none that we saw outside of school, so on his 3rd birthday, we had a simple party at home. His older sisters had friends that just love him so on the weekend when they were outside playing, I offered the leftover cake. He just enjoyed his family around him all focusing on him. I wanted his fourth to be huge but we have moved to a new state and he is not in school yet. I do plan on taking the family to Chuck E Cheese, he loves that place! Iknow you want to make it a big deal for your child, but like the others said, they really won't remember it after a year or so. My youngest daughter had 4 birthday parties for her 3rd, we had just moved home from Germany and everyone had to throw her a paryt! She doesn't remember any of them...

I hope this helps and wish him a happy birthday from us!

Our daughter turned 3 last June. We ended up doing a big pool party for her with all her friends and our friends as well. It was at a local rec center that had an awesome activity pool and slides. We decided on this though because we knew we were relocating to another state in October and her birthday was really the last time we would have all our friends together in one place before we moved. So essentially the party was part for her and part for us. That being said, everyone had so much fun, kids and adults alike. It was well worth the price for us (probably about $300 for pool rental, pizza, drinks and favors). Seven months later and my daughter still talks about her pool party.

Normally, we would have probably done the same thing we did for her 1st and 2nd birthday which was a party at the local park. We had rented a shelter near the playground and invited a few of her friends. We had it mid-day so we just needed snacks and drinks. It was simple to do and low cost, but fun for the kids to be able to run around the park and playground.

My daughter just turned 5 and I only had her first two birthdays at my home. I'm tellin' ya....after those two year olds destroyed my house, I vowed not to do that again! LOL But, you have to keep in mind that we had many little toddler friends over. =0) She had her 3rd bday at Chuck-e-Cheese and still talks about it to this day. It was a very big deal for her. We've had parties outside of our home ever since. My son has had his first two birthday parties at home with family and a few friends, but in June when he turns 3..you can guarantee that we'll be having a fun birthday bash somewhere else! It's all a personal decision and you should do whatever you want and not worry about what others think of your decision. Enjoy this time! =0)

My little boy is turning 3 soon too! I have looked into all the places close to me for a party and they are pretty expensive. I decided to have a party at home and buy him a bouncy house that will double as his present and entertainment for the party. I will have a few of his friends and cousins over and some finger food. I also decided that a Saturday morning party is best so it doesn't interfere with nap time or a meal. I think I am more excited about it than he is right now. I hope this helps.

You do what you want. Phooey on the naysayers!!! I just had my 8 year olds party here in the house and we had 6 boys. It was great fun. At three for all mine we had very low key parties. I always make the cake they want in te shape they want. For my now 13 year old at 3 we went to the park with a neighbor and her 3 year old and had a little celebration but not a biggie.
One of the families around here gets a cake and invites the neighborhood over for cake and ice cream and askes for no presents. The kids play in the back yard for an hour or so and the adults get to have some adult conversation.
Happy Birthday for your little one and enjoy the day.

I would go with how your 3 year old is reacting to his birthday. My daughter is about to turn 4 next week. Last year she wasn't all that interested in her birthday so we just had a small party at home with family. This year she has been planning her birthday for months. She brought home a pamplet about Monkey Joe's from her daycare and said she wanted to have her party there. We went and visited and it was nice, clean and she had fun so we booked her party. Then she picked out a princess birthday cake from Publix. Her party is this Saturday and she can't wait. It is still going to be mostly family, her grandparents and cousins but I also invited a couple of her little friends. It is kind of expensive but they provide everything but the cake and candles, do all the cleanup and have someone that watches the kids play so the grownups can relax a little. At 3 she wasn't really able to make the decision for herself but this year at 4 she is telling us what she wants.

I agree with the person that said go with how your son is reacting to his birthday party. Both of my sons were in daycare for their 3rd b'days and my oldest never really talked about a party. The other kids in his class didn't start having parties with friends until they turned 4. We have a lot of young cousins in our family so we kept his simple and just had them come over to our house to play. My youngest just turned 3 last month and he had been talking about his party for at least 3 months. Other kids at his daycare were having parties and inviting the other kids so that was what he wanted to do. We got lucky that it wasn't too cold outside so we rented a moon bounce and had mickey mouse come celebrate with us. They had a blast and it was much easier being able to have all of the kids outside. Both of my kids had fun at their parties so I think you should just go with his attitude towards it.

We have done lots of things for toddler birthday parties, but the two that turned out the best were when we used the outdoor gazebo at church in warm weather and the gym at church in cold weather and threw the party there. We ordered pizza, had a cooler full of juice boxes for the kids and another cooler full of cokes for the adults, cake and ice cream. The party invitation said for the children to bring their favorite riding toy and we took extras for the children whose parents forgot. We let them ride their riding toys everywhere, then we had pizza, let them ride some more, then we had cake and ice cream, rode some more, then we opened presents. The parents visited and the children played and the children had a lot of fun. It was very relaxed, and easy to do.

I would keep it simple at this age. Around 5 they start to really like the friend parties and appreciate them more. I kept our children's parties at home as long as possible. Seems to me that the parties for toddlers I've been to, are more about the parents than the child. The children get tired, cranky, crying...just keep it simple a couple of more years.

BTW, Happy Birthday to your little one.

Our general rule for Birthday parties was to have a big one for the 1st birthday and then to have only immediate family until the 5th birthday. The 5th birthday is a huge blowout at the local state park and we cook out and have hay rides and play games and invite everyone the child knows from preschool and church. Really, children usually don't start having good "friends" until about that age anyway.

Sarah, You do whatever kind of party that you want to do. Small or large. My son had a party with family and friends when he was turning 3. We had a birthday cake with dump trucks all over it. The kids played in the yard and had a great time. Whatever "vibes" you get from others, IGNORE them!! It's your son and you do what you want!